Chapter 8 It's too troublesome!?
579 Words
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Omara’s POV
It’s too troublesome!?
I woke up trying to remember what I was dreaming about last night. It kind of seems like it was about this Joe Berrios. What would have happened if things were different? What if that incident didn’t happen? Or if I didn’t run away from the cafeteria like that? Or then again, it could have been about if I was skinnier, or more girly, or maybe if I was a STAR?! I don’t remember anything at all. GOSH! What should I do now? I feel embarrassed about everything. I know too well that I am no model or a Barbie, and that I am a bit chubby and have big boobs, but I’m a perky little chubby girl!. I know very well that no guy would be interested in someone like me (boring, chubby, and timid). So I just brush off these feelings and continue living my life the way I think its best. This is why I try to have a smile on my face, and try to be happy and helpful around others. So that the who I am inside can’t be seen by anyone, but just the outside of me. Because of the loneliness, the painful feelings, the sorrow that I have can incapacitate me to no ends. I can’t handle those feelings that corrode myself deep within my heart, it immobilizes my core till it kills me it brakes me apart if I do not tend to it on time. Subsequently, I tend to laugh it out. Shake it and move it out of my surface. Or …
Flashback
Two years ago in middle school
(Kids booing and teasing) Someone just pushed me down and threw food over my head. Then the boys and girls were booing and laughing because of it. Others were talking and thrashing me with their words about my round face and my spectacles, and been fat and having big melons. I was crying loud and their laughs were harsher (no one helped me, not even the teachers near lunchroom). When I gathered my courage I started to run away from them. By running out without a destination I started to think very low of me, that no one will remember me nor that I was important. When night came I went back home, took a shower, and walking by the medicine cabinet I grabbed my mother’s pills and drank the whole bottle. When my mother tried to wake me up the next morning and couldn’t she called. The Doctors in the ER pump my stomach. I stayed in the hospital for a week. After that, I had to go to therapy five times a week for a year because of my depression and my suicide attempt. During that time I change school because my parents learned the reasons they sued the school and the kids' parents involved in my incident that day. Afterward, I swore that I would not take that same route towards my body, that I would be positive with everything around me. And if I couldn’t handle something I would seek help.
End of flashback
I shook my head to dispel the memory and went to the bathroom and do my stuff. I got dressed and went to the kitchen to eat breakfast and go to school. I liked walking to school it helps me calm down and tune in with my surroundings/nature.
- Writer
