Santa, I have a wish!

Chapter 11;

Slowly, he lifted his hand.

I could feel the warmth from his hand brushing gently against my face.

“You are too beautiful to cry. Your ex-husband is a stupid man for letting you go. If he cheated on you, then he didn’t deserve your love. I’m glad you moved away.”

His smile is so beautiful—small, but cute. You can feel that he truly means it.

His hand slowly rests on the side of my face, holding me as if I were something precious. Like glass, fragile and valuable—he doesn’t want to break me.

I lean into his hand, close my eyes, and let my heart slip away for a second. It’s the first time I’ve felt safe and understood by anyone in a long, long time.

It’s been so long since anyone touched me.

My marriage was perfect the first year. We had a lot of s*x. He came home with flowers and was always home at the same time every day. Then he started working overtime, saying he had eaten at work and was always too tired. Eventually, all physical touch stopped—or rather, he stopped. I even asked why and tried everything.

“I’m just tired,” he said—the same excuse every time.

One time, I stood in the hallway, on the stairs, wearing sexy underwear, makeup, and heels. I read on a girl chat that this helps motivate your husband. I even bought some s*x toys, but we never tried anything.

Nothing worked. Not even standing n***d in front of him. He just looked at me and said, “Go put on some clothes, it’s cold in here. I’m not in the mood.”

The look in his eyes felt like a knife stabbing my chest. He didn’t want me anymore. His eyes said what he couldn’t bring himself to say out loud.

Maybe I’m getting old, and my body looks older? I don’t know.

The first year of our marriage, we tried for a baby. We both wanted a child so badly. We had talked about it in high school. We were in the same class—math and chemistry. He was really good at chemistry, and I loved math, especially when he asked me to help him pass his tests before he failed. We fell in love that first year and were the couple everyone talked about.

We talked a lot about children and building a family, but we felt too young. When we started trying, I just didn’t get pregnant. We tried everything—even IVF—but it didn’t work. The doctor told me it was probably me who couldn’t get pregnant.

Something changed that day. Maybe that’s why he slept with other women. I don’t know.

~

“Papa.”

Annabelle walked closer. She had woken up from her nap, her hair sticking out in every direction. She’s so cute.

“Hey, sweetie.”

He picked her up like she weighed nothing. Yes, she was probably very light—but he was incredibly strong. I haven’t seen a body like that since high school, when the football team worked out outside in the heat, running around in just shorts and shoes. Nothing else.

They probably never realized how many girls were watching them play or work out. Nobody understood football, but we understood six-packs.

I have to laugh thinking about it—it was like 30 girls staring without blinking. Some of them even had their mouths open so long that… well, it got messy. So gross.

“Annabelle, what do you want to eat?”

I could see that it was a tough question.

Sometimes children need very specific options to choose from.

"Do you want eggs or pancakes?" I asked and looked at them small but sparkling eyes

“Panekajkese!”

Annabelle can’t say “pancakes” properly yet, and it’s the most beautiful, cutest way of saying it.

I started laughing

"Then pancakes it is! Do you want to help me?"

Annabelle jumped of joy

Imagine having so much love and happiness inside.

I haven’t felt something like that in years.

But, now.. looking at the little beautiful girl and her handsome father I feel a warm feeling, it’s safe and I can feel happiness.

Or something like that.

I can’t say anything out loud. It’s just temporary.

They will leave. And I will be all alone in this house