The Prophesied Claim

The Date From Hell

Truthfully, I have zero desire to go on the date I threw at Alec. It was a mistake to say I'd go, but being railroaded by a well-meaning sister happens quite often. Apparently, if she weren't already happily married, this person would be "the one" for her. So, naturally, he must be perfect for me. It was easier to say yes, and set a date, then continue to say no and find a good argument about why my Friday nights are not the social event of the season. It did offer a great way to end my conversation with Alec too.

So, at six o'clock, I've squeezed myself into a skimpy red dress and a sweet pair of f**k me shoes. My hair is perfect. My make-up in place, and my date late. I've nearly decided to binge watch a murder show when the doorbell finally rings.

"Hey girl, I've got a back seat with your name on it," greets me as I open the door.

Seeing the scrawny man leaning against the door jam does not inspire confidence or increase my desire to leave the house. I strongly consider slamming the door and disowning my sister. This is not Prince Charming. The five o'clock shadow on his weak jaw does nothing for me, making me think only of empty beer cans and white tank tops. If I can ignore his opening line, his car doesn't look unsafe. It's a respectable SUV, if a little loud with the chrome. Definitely not letting him in the house. Definitely paying for my own meal. Definitely never being picked up at home again.

"Hi, I'm Sirena." I stick my hand out, pulling the door closed behind me.

"Ted. You know, doesn't look like you got a lot of furniture in there," he pauses as he walks down the front steps, "but as long as I've got a face..." thankfully he doesn't finish the sentence, just letting it drift as he rounds the hood of the SUV.

I try opening the passenger door, but it's locked. So I stand awkwardly on the sidewalk as he starts the car, still talking, before realizing he's actually alone in the car. Finally, he reaches across the seat and pops the door lock. This feels like another red flag, maybe a giant red sign telling me to go back inside, but what the hell, if I disappear it'll be Sarah's fault.

The Italian restaurant where we had reservations isn't where we go. Ted claims that since we can't make the 6:30 time, he's got a better place in mind. As we pull up to the divey looking bar, I'm pretty sure this isn't going to be better.

"Girl, this is the best place in the city. I'm giving you a real treat tonight. You can reward me later."

As we exit the car, the door swings open and a group of scruffy looking bikers exits. They stop as I round the hood of the SUV, coming into their line of sight. I'd like to think their wolf whistles are flattering, but I'm really just concerned I look like a prostitute. Ted's jeans and t-shirt are far better suited to this place than my ridiculous dress and high heels. You'd think Ted would at least wait on me before going to the bar, but he just heads right inside leaving me to make my way around the group of bikers. I decide to call a cab immediately. Then, I'll call Sarah and tell her she's a terrible judge of character.

Deciding waiting inside the bar is probably safer than standing outside alone, which would probably look even more hookerish, I reluctantly trail Ted inside, digging my phone out to call a cab. But, of course, there's no service. I'm stuck. I can't see a payphone anywhere and the bar is so crowded with customers, I doubt there's any way to get the bartender to call for me. Hearing Ted screaming my name, I make my way over to a booth he's managed to find and try to think of a good way to get him to leave quickly. Maybe I could start vomiting.

"Don't worry, I ordered you a side salad." He reassures patting my hand like he's done me a great favor.

"Wow, thanks."

He doesn't bother to respond as the waitress brings drinks. Somehow, I have a water and he has a giant glass of beer. This just keeps getting better. Water and a salad. Here I was worrying that I should pay for myself since I was so disinterested in having this date, but now, he can pay for it.

As he tries to regale me with stories of his amazing talents, he slurps beer at an amazing rate, downing two glasses before the waitress reappears with my side salad and a giant plate that holds a huge burger and greasy fries. She casts me a sympathetic glance, and I take advantage.

"Trina," I ask, reading her nametag, "can I call a cab? My phone doesn't have service."

Ted immediately appears affronted, "Why do you need a cab? You're going home with me, Sirena."

"Just trying to help out. You've had quite a bit to drink already. We should just take a cab."

Trina assures me she'll call one immediately, as Ted responds that he's actually an even better driver after a few beers.

Just as I'm considering walking home, the bar door swings open and a tall blonde walks in with a rough looking man in a denim jacket. Ted's reaction is instantaneous. He surges to his feet and stalks over to the couple. Shouting ensues as he starts accusing the blonde of being a two-timing tramp and the denim wearing man tells him he's got a tiny d**k.

I've never seen a for-real bar fight, but when the first punch gets thrown, my eyes are glued to the scene. I had zero belief in Ted's ability to fight the other guy, and when he's dumb enough to try to slap the blonde, the dude b***h slaps him hard enough to throw him into the edge of the bar. I guess because he's had a bit to drink he's extra stupid, because Ted not only refuses to back down, he jumps on the guy likes he's climbing a tree and tries to wrap his arms around his throat.

As they wrestle around, knocking into a table, and spilling some beers, a few of the patrons appear to start laying bets (though I'm not sure who'd bet on Ted winning). It's not very long before I can hear sirens growing louder. Ted's knocked out on the floor, the blonde's having a beer, and the man in the denim jacket is spitting on the floor when the cops roll in.

Of course, Alec just has to be leading the way. Because why wouldn't he be the one to show up. There's not a lot for the cops to do with the fight already being over, but they haul Ted to his feet and drag him outside. Denim jacket gets put in cuffs and the blonde starts screeching about police brutality or some bullshit. A few of the officers start talking to the bartender, and the bouncer, while Alec talks to the waitress. It isn't long before she's pointing in my direction. I brace myself as Alec turns his head and our eyes meet across the bar. A slow smile spreads across his face as he starts making his way to my booth.

I cover my face with one hand as he slides into Ted's recently vacated seat.

"Weren't kidding, huh. Some date."

"I'd already had the waitress call a cab. Before," I wave my hand in the general direction of the mess.

He just laughs, "So, you know how this works. You'll have to tell me what happened. You know, give a statement."