Collateral Damage

A night to remember

Serenity

Serenity let the water run through her hair rinsing out another long day after bartending. Sighing to herself she shut off the water as thoughts ran through her head. Was she ever going to be able to do better than this job? Night after night dealing with drunk people was exhausting. 

She could feel their gazes on her all night. She liked to wear things that sparkled in the lowlights of the club she worked in. The way they shined reminded her of a sky full of stars and she couldn't get enough of that memory. She knew how it made her look. But when was it enough? She wrapped the towel around her body as she stepped from the shower over to the mirror. She always had fun in some way shape or form. Whether it was sitting just watching the people interact with each other.

The guys who were always hitting on someone. Or trying to. She chuckled to herself. After failing in so many relationships with both men and women she decided she was done with them, but watching these men come to the club to pick up women always made her laugh. Serenity always liked to play make believe. She would see people walk in and try to guess why they were there that night. Of course she had her regulars so she didn’t have to make up stories for them. 

Once they finally got used to her they all spilled out their stories like a child spilling milk. Careless abandon, while serenity knew what alcohol could do to a person the way they just let the stories roll of their tongue always amazed her. So it became a habit with all the new strangers she seemed to run into while working except tonight was something different. 

She hadn’t been sure what to make of the woman who sat at the bar that night but she could feel her eyes on her the whole night. Grabbing the brush to gather her wet hair into a ponytail she smiled to herself in the mirror. She didn’t think of herself as anything special. Deep blue eyes that always seemed to be staring off somewhere else, long black hair that went almost down her back. Nothing special she thought to herself. 

How many times had she heard that? Serenity shook her head to shake the thoughts trying to ruin her night. She wasn’t going to do that today. No self doubt or being mean. She’d had enough. Too many times she had been belittled or dragged through the mud and after dealing with therapy she decided that she should try to be nicer to herself even if she was nothing but a b***h to everyone else. She told her best friend Angel that and he literally started whooping and hollering like a little kid on a roller coaster. She told him he was being dramatic and he told her it was time she stuck up for herself. 

The woman from the bar crawled back into her brain while she was getting dressed. Tight black shirt. Green eyes, her favorite color. Pulling on an old avenged sevenfold t-shirt Serenity began to dig for comfy boxers. Tonight was definitely the night to binge watch some Supernatural and maybe even order some chinese take out. Her tips from the night were pretty good so it wouldn’t break her bank to splurge a little she thought. 

Serenity finished getting dressed and walked out of her room to her kitchen. She loved her little one bedroom apartment. Her building wasn’t very big on the quieter side of town and all of her neighbors were pretty decent people. She enjoyed it for the most part. What she didn’t like was the loneliness of it all. Serenity was very good at making friends but not so good at keeping them. Dealing with depression made it a little harder for her to keep up. 

She had decided after a small fight with an old friend that the people who cared and truly wanted to be there for her would stick around. Too bad not many people did. She had her good couple friends and she was fine with that. After placing her order for delivery Serenity went to the couch and plopped down. Resting her feet on her little glass coffee table she leaned back. She had been practicing her breathing at small points in the day to try and be relaxed. “You never know if it is going to help or not if you don’t give it a shot. Just try it for a week and then if it’s not working we’ll try something else.” She could hear her therapist's voice in her head telling her to breathe in and count to four. Breathe out while counting to four.

She hated this. It made her feel weak. Though she had to give her therapists some credit she had been a lot calmer this week. In the middle of this she felt herself drifting back to that night at the bar again. Mainly her regulars tonight, no one interesting enough to make up a story about. It had almost bored her with how simple the night went. Quiet easy money, but that woman kept popping up. 

Raven black hair pulled back into a low ponytail. A few tattoos, none that came to memory immediately. Serenity found herself asking why again, why couldn’t she stop thinking about this woman? She wasn’t a regular. In fact serenity wasn’t sure if she had ever seen her at the club before. She felt like she would’ve remembered if she had. Serenity remembered how she ordered s*x on the beach and laughed to herself when serenity had brought it to her. She liked the sound of it. 

She shook her head to clear her thoughts and grabbed her phone off the table. She shouldn’t focus so hard on the stranger at the bar. Who knows, she thought, she was probably only there looking for a good time and didn’t find anything. The typical type serenity saw every night. Unlocking her phone she saw a text from Angel come up on the screen asking her what she was doing. Deciding she wasn’t in the mood for people she closed it off and scrolled through her social accounts while waiting for her food.

After what felt like an eternity her chinese arrived and her stomach growled like she’d been starving for days. She paused to sigh, she knew her eating habits weren’t the best but her stomach was just so hungry and it was being vocal. GeneralTso’s chicken was her favorite with white rice and as soon as she got to the couch she tore into her food. Nothing like watching people slay demons, eating your favorite food and just relaxing. Or at least trying to, she thought. She knew Angel was probably just bored looking for someone to hang out and smoke with but today she didn’t have the energy left to handle being social. It took so much out of her and no one else seemed to get it. It was all fine though, Serenity never let it bother her too much. Some days though she wondered what it was like for people to fall in love. 

The topic always seemed corny to her and she didn’t know why now of all times she was thinking about it. After dealing with mental and emotional abuse the last time she decided to be happy alone and just work on herself. That should be enough. She had her little space and did what she wanted and that should be enough.  Love was never something she had to have but it would be nice to be wanted. She laughed out loud. Just being wanted is what got her into so many bad spots before. Why would she want something that only seemed to hurt her or just not work out. She wasn’t a complicated person, she just never felt like enough. 

Shaking off the thoughts about love she cleaned up the mess from her takeout and shut off the tv. Laying down in her bed she couldn’t help but let her mind wander back to that woman. Sighing heavily she wished her brain would stop. Why did it always have to over do it? She knew she found the woman attractive but so were so many people who came to the club. The nice clothes, laughter, the feeling of life is all why she worked there still. 

Her bosses had always been kind and looked out for her which is why she stayed so long already. Watching the same thing night after night though gets boring. Yet somehow that woman seemed like a game changer. Like the type of person to flip worlds upside down and inside out. Maybe it was because she’d been alone for quite some time.

Sure she had her flings but nothing serious in a long time. She wasn’t looking for anything serious though, always made that clear. Her head wouldn’t let her forget those deep green eyes watching her as she fell asleep that night. She had the perfect lips and she wondered just what she was looking at all night. The thought stayed with her as she closed her eyes and fell asleep. Those deep green eyes.