INSANELY FALLEN

YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I AM THINKING

Isabelle’s PoV

“Jane’s in his estate?”

“No.”

“Basement?” he glanced here and there for a while before resolving.

“Yes.” Crap! Unpleasant memories clouded my head. Painfully moving it to the rear of my brain, I asked my ultimate question.

“Cage is back?” my heart rapidly started thumping and Miller stared at me puzzled.

“Yes.” Holy heavens!!!!

.........….......

 We were on our return trip, and Shawn was badgering me with queries which I dodged successfully. How am I supposed to answer all his questions without disclosing my past to him? I was in a mental dilemma when he abruptly pulled the car towards a nearby sidewalk. Shawn got out of the driver’s seat and semi jogged towards mine. Before he opened the door, I did and leaned over the vehicle with my hands folded. I expected this sooner. Miller is not quite the man who takes silence as an answer.

I was conscious of his tightened jaw, clenched fist and red eyes but chose not to address them. In fact, I looked at him coldly, not even saying anything when he violated my personal zone. Shawn placed both his arms on either side of me, penning me in between him and the car. Though my heart was racing frantically, I held a straight face, even to the extent of arching an eyebrow at him. He leaned in a little more closely that I could literally feel his warm breath fan on my face. He smelt of fresh mint and caffeine. Why did I prefer this sudden closeness? My mind was yelling to shove him off, but my body had its own plan.

“You are going to tell me what happened back in there or I will overlook you are a woman.”

……………………

Miller’s PoV

She smirked. She really just smirked. The nerve of her! I know I look intimidating enough. s**t, if it was any other normal girl she would have dashed away from me by now, even men in that case. She was not ready to back down, neither was I. But this proximity was driving me crazy. I have been out with several women before, but with no one have I sensed such a tug and breathless. Yes, I was breathless. For heaven’s sake, what is happening to me? Of course I can’t be enticed in her, that’s not imaginable at all. I abhor her guts. Maybe not that much after learning everything from her dad. Still, she is a b***h. Get a control, Shawn. 

“You going to stay and gawk like that?” her voice was like a splash of icy cold water to me. It drew me back to reality.

“As if there is plenty to ogle at.” I grunted, even though it was a sheer lie. 

“Move aside, Miller. I don’t have time for this.” She was being herself, but something was off this time. That’s when I caught her trembling fingers. She was struggling hard to suppress it by clenching her knuckles, but it was crystal clear to me. Do I affect her just like how she affects me? Wait, she affects me? s**t. Shawnnnn…. I moved back a little from her personal bubble and she let out a shaky breath. 

“Please Isabelle, Jane is my sister, and she is suffering. If this Cage guy is of any trouble, then I need to think of a solution to deal with him.” Though my statement was pleading, my voice said the opposite. I have always got what I wanted, so I never had an occasion where I have to plead for something. This woman is making me do so many ‘firsts’. Her face softened a little. She stood straight, folding her hands again.

“Get in, Miller. I am driving.” I raised an eyebrow, and she sighed. 

“You will get your answers but not here.” She said pointing around at the residential area we just parked. That’s when I noticed our surrounding; we even had few curious audiences staring out of their windows. I suppose this place doesn’t get many passersby. I nodded at her and she soon took the driver’s side. I have let no one drive my car other than Nathan, and that too at a time of emergency. But I did not feel like objecting to her offer. It’s a long drive, and I have driven all this while, she was just enjoying the view, it’s only fair if she drives the rest of the ride. Besides, I do not know where the hell she wants me to go. 

I asked no more questions as she concentrated on the road ahead. It was something different. Seeing her drive while I sat there glancing at her occasionally, I actually enjoyed it. I turned on the radio and we drove for another twenty minutes until she took a road unknown to me. It was a hilly area with uncleared grasses and cows grazing here and there. Isabelle parked the car in the foot of the biggest hill and got out, followed by me. 

“You familiar with trekking?” she asked while folding the sleeves of her navy blue shirt. 

“We are here to climb this hill?” Is she joking? What is this, picnic or something?

“If you want your answers follow me Shawn.” That’s it. She started walking through the narrow path, which I assume is commonly used, that led to the top of the not so steep hill. Without having enough time to protest, I trailed behind her. Comparatively for a petite girl, Isabelle was indeed strong. We almost reached the top, and she still hasn’t taken a break or panted yet; me neither. I work out seven days a week, hence these types of activities don’t affect me physically. Mentally I was happy as a cool breeze caressed my face and hair, perks of being in a higher altitude. The view from here was breath-taking. Large buildings seemed smaller and more fascinating. I breathed in fresh air and turned to look at Isabelle. Shock would be an understatement compared to what I felt. Tears streamed down her eyes and she was having difficulty in breathing. 

“What is it? You okay?” I was more than bewildered. I know it is related to her mom and those days, but what triggered it now? She gulped for air and was panting heavily. Before she could fall, I caught her, and we both sat on the ground. She was shaking as I held her tightly to my chest, and a feeling of something new erupted in me. Maybe it’s a brotherly attachment; I mentally gagged at the thought. Isabelle shook uncontrollably and worry masked all my other emotions. 

“Wait here.” I said as I got up from the sitting position and jogged to my car to retrieve her medicine and a bottle of water, I keep both in handy ever since that night in Central Park. When I returned I found her in a fetal position, hugging herself as she lay curled on the ground. I threw myself near her body and scooped her up in my arms. The thought that the bastard has scarred her for life is killing me. I have never felt this helpless before as I made her gulp the medicine with water. We sat there, she clutching on my shirt hard while I had my arms around her, protecting her like a child. I know the position we were in was intimate, but I could not care less. 

Slowly her breathing labored, and she stopped shaking. I was disappointed when she got up from me and maintained some distance as she occupied the ground next to me. I thought she was going to apologize or thank me; instead she had a distanced look. I was about to ask her if she was okay when she pointed towards east. It was a deserted place except for a dilapidated building in the center which looked crooked enough to me. 

“That’s where Jane is.” Her words were weak, but it had a powerful effect on me. Finally, I found Jane. She mumbled something, but I couldn’t hear due to the excitement. “What?”

“We can’t go there.” I liked the sound of ‘we’, but not the statement. “Why?”

“He will make you kill her.”

...........................…..

Miller’s PoV

I searched for a perfect sentence to reply, but my mind came out blank.

 “I know you are aware of my past Shawn, otherwise you wouldn’t have that medicine with you.”

 She wasn’t exasperated or furious but void of any emotions which made me helpless. How can a woman whom I thought was the Queen of arrogance have such a side to her? A side that is attracting me, pulling me towards this fragile being. I let her words skip from any response because honestly; I do not know what to say. We both know Lucas is a bastard and the feeling towards him is mutual. So there’s nothing to say. 

We spent a few minutes in silence as the red ball started sinking in the distant horizon. I felt something deep snap in me as the sun set. A sense of…. How to put the right words???? Completeness maybe… whatever this thing is, it’s alien to me as the sudden urge to pull her beside me is nagging my mind. I mentally gave a kick to myself, to regain the senses that are everywhere except my head. These wild thoughts are messing with my mind. I glanced at her briefly, only to see her staring at the building once again, but with another emotion this time. Her face promised an upcoming wrath, which I am sure will be backed up by me. 

She let out a deep sigh before turning to me. For a moment, my breathing haltered as her blue orbits wandered through my soul. She indeed is a gorgeous girl.

“You must think how much of a coward I am. Aren’t you?” it wasn’t an accusation; she was just voicing her thoughts. How can I explain to her that her dauntlessness has just increased a hundred times more than before? 

“You don’t know what I am thinking.” I mumbled. The idea of embracing her popped up with more fervor than before. 

“It was a question, Shawn.” God! The way she said my name… I am literally screwed. Also, her voice told me that something changed between us. We no longer hate each other.

…………………………

Isabelle’s PoV 

Only my family has seen me like this, yet breaking down in front of Shawn did not make me feel abominable. Is it weird? I mean, I never let my emotions rule me, especially not in front of strangers. But seeing the building where I lost everything overtook me. 

“No. I was not thinking that.” He replied looking into the oblivion. 

“Then?” Why am I suddenly interested in his thoughts? He doesn’t seem to mind it either. In fact, we were having a normal conversation, not like I have just melted down in front of him with a panic attack.

“About Jane. How she is so near to me yet I cannot reach her.” Genuine sadness filled his voice. The thought of that poor thing suffering from Cage’s doings is unbearable. She must wish for hell to swallow her, anything but Cage. 

“We will get her back without a single scratch.” I said truthfully. I know her captor. He doesn’t destroy a person physically, but mentally he crushes the heart of his prey. 

“Who is Cage?” Shawn asked, now looking at me. I prefer Shawn over Miller as it makes me feel like I am talking to an elder person when in fact he is just 3 or 4 years older than me. And back to the topic of Satan’s offspring,

“Cage is Lucas’ illegal son.” His face morphed into one of pure surprise. 

“Lucas has another son? I thought only…” I did not let him complete. 

“Yes, everyone thinks that. Only his close family and friends know about Cage. He does all the dirty work for Lucas. While Xavier was just a puppet, Cage is his own boss. Even Lucas fears him.” 

I already assumed what his next question would be, but prayed he doesn’t ask that. “How do you know him?” 

There goes my prayer. I fidgeted with my hands nervously and he seems to notice it. “Well, that will be a question for another time. It’s already late, we should be going.” 

I nodded and exhaled loudly, letting him know of my relief. It was difficult to open up all these, but more means another break down which I am not ready for. He extended his right arm once he got up, and I took it, getting up with his support. We descended the hill in silence, and both of us did not break it. Once we reached the car, he asked for the keys and I tossed it to him. We both sat on our concerned seats and started the return trip. On the way he stopped at a MC Donald drive thru and ordered two zinger burgers. 

“So, what’s the next move?” He asked with his mouth full which was a kind of cute. I swallowed the last morsel of my ‘goodness in a bun’ and shrugged my shoulders. 

“I can come to your office tomorrow to form a blueprint of that place. We must act fast; Cage is not a patient person.” He nodded his head with clenched fists. 

“Neither am I” He said and revved the engine. By the time we reached it was eight in the night and I could mentally hear Neb’s unending questionnaires,

‘Why are you late?’ ‘Was Lucas there?’ ‘Did he do something to you?’ Blah blah blah. I smiled, imagining how protective my family can be. I opened the door, got out and paced to the other side. Shawn leaned his head out of the window, giving me a better view.

“So tomorrow it is.” He said and typed something onto his phone, probably a reminder.

“What time?” I asked as I heard the front door of my house unlock. I guess its dad. He must have heard the engine sound. 

“10:30AM, if you are free.” Well, tomorrow is an off day for me. No quotations, no meetings, no family events. So yeah, I am free.

“Sure.”

“Bye then.”

“Bye” Just as he left Neb came out of the entrance,

“Why are you late?”

 “I am late because it was a long trip, Neb.” I said as I entered our front porch. Neb was following me with keen eyes. 

“Was that Satan there?” he was referring to Lucas, and I shook my head, gesturing a ‘no’. He opened his mouth to fire another question when I did an about turn and faced him with a pointed finger. 

“And no, Shawn did nothing to me.”

That’s when I realized the mistake I made. Neb too noticed it, as his eyes went wide with shock. I refer no one by their first name, other than my family of course, but considering Shawn knows my past, which partially shattered the wall I built around me, caused me to rethink our naming system. He too called me by my first name and I didn’t object to that, so I get the same privilege. 

“Who?” Neb asked dangerously, closing our space.

“Come on over protective brother. It was just a slip of tongue.” I said, trying to ease the tension. 

“You never have a slip of tongue, Seb, at least not with strangers.”

“You are overreacting.” I was now glaring at him, which is a tactic I used to mask my genuine emotion, which right now is guilty, a rare emotion of mine. Why am I feeling guilty? It’s not a crime to call someone by their first name. Seeing that he would not stop this staring contest, I turned on my heels and started heading to the living room when a hand grabbed my wrist, making me stop. It was Neb, of course, but with a guarded expression, he pulled me closer to him and cupped my face with both his palms. 

“Please don’t fall for him, Seb. He is dangerous. I don’t want you to get hurt again.” His eyes became glassy as he held me for dear life. Something in his voice caught me off guard, and his now pained expression did not comfort me either. 

“Don’t be stupid, Ben. I will never fall for him?” my sentence came out more like a question and his face turned into one of pure horror. 

“Seb”

“Ben, the idea itself is alien to me. I never thought of such a thing, besides I am too broken to love. And out of the entire population in this world, I will not choose Shawn Miller as my life partner. We are just not meant to be.” Relief washed over his face and he released me, only to engulf me into a warm hug. 

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