The First Wolves

19. EIGHT THOUSAND AND FORTY-SEVEN CANDLES

The night was mild, and the pack sat around the roaring fire. Overlaps of conversations were fuelling the joyous atmosphere, some long-established friendships being nurtured, while some new friendships were being born.

“You have not met your mate, son?” Pepin asked, but watched as Ewan’s eyes darted towards the Gamma.

“Not yet father,” Ewan replied, but smiled, thinking of the promise between him and Iselda.

“Did you know I saw you one last time as a baby? Caius accidently sought warmth at the slaver’s campfire. I gave him my blessing to raise you as his own, and my thanks for taking on the responsibility. I see he did a fine job,” Pepin beamed with pride.

Being near his son made the longing for Aoife bite a little less sharply. Although impossible to achieve in one night, he desperately wanted to know about the years of his son’s life that he had missed. In the most difficult times of his captivity, he would imagine the key moments in his child’s life: Ewan’s first words, his first steps, and his first shift. It was dangerous to picture him as a toddler holding onto Aoife’s hand as he stumbled on his feet. Such visions could lead to madness by way of the path of hope.

“He did take good care of me, but we parted on bad terms. He wouldn’t answer my questions about you, or my mother. When he was drunk one night, I asked him again. He told me about Heaton House. Frustratingly, he only revealed that it was where I was born, and where my mother had died. It only made me want to know more. Brodie was itching to run, but Caius wouldn’t allow it. He said it was too dangerous. Since I had shifted, he had made me wear the scent suppressor that the pack we once knew supplied. When they were found by the slavers he became even more suffocating. I told him that he was taking my freedom from me. He slapped me and said that the fact that I could say that showed how little I knew of slavery. He passed out, and I put him in his bed. The next morning, I told him that I was going to find out about my past, find the knowledge that he was denying me. We argued some more, but I left. Eventually, I was hired as the trainer at Heaton House. I used the scent suppressor every day I was at Heaton House. Only Conri knew I wasn’t human, because his alpha wolf could smell my true identity. I realised that Caius had been right. I had no idea how sheltered I had been, and I feared every day that they would discover I wasn’t one of them before I had a chance to help. I am ashamed of the words I said to him, and when Winnifred told me what he had done for me, my shame burned greater. I was too sharp with her.” Ewan shared, and continued to tell him the story of the pack’s journey to freedom.

At its conclusion, Pepin embraced his son, thanking him for killing Magnus, and enacting on the revenge that had partly motivated his own endurance for all those years. Unexpectedly, Pepin stood up, and approached Iselda, kneeling down in front of her. His eyes diverged to show both Pepin and a weak Clovis’ presence, and the Gamma focussed on the sincerity of their words.

“Moon Goddess, hear my vow. Gamma Iselda realised one of my greatest hopes by ending the brutality of the enslavers who tore my world apart. In the mines, I was a wolf with a mate and a son. In my freedom you have granted me a daughter too. I pledge to protect and support her from this day until my last.” Pepin’s eyes returned to their striking grey, indicating Clovis had returned to his recuperation, deep in Pepin’s mind.

The pack waited with bated breath to see Iselda’s reaction. Since she had become the Gamma she strived to create an image of independence and strength, so it was a shock when she dove into his body, tightly wrapping her arms around his neck, and let her tears soak into his tunic. Unperturbed, Pepin patted her back until she stopped crying, and the audience had become distracted.

“Thank-you” Iselda whispered, feeling a little shy.

“There’s no need for thank-you between a father and his daughter,” Pepin smiled at her, remembering the words that Neoma used to say to him.

Pepin returned to the seat next to his son, noticing his happy expression, and knowing it was in connection to Iselda. There was more to that story, but Pepin was happy to wait until his son wished to share it with him.

“Winnie, what happened to my mother?” Pepin asked, instantly noticing her discomfort.

“She was killed by the soldiers, seven years after you were taken. She helped many wolves escape over those years. When they came to take over the temple, she was burning the scrolls that contained all our history and weaknesses. She made sure our secrets were safe from our enemies. Humans burnt the temple and executed her on the steps. They say that the statue of Selene crumbled with her last breath. These were the rumours I managed to hear in the market square the next day. I wasn’t there when it happened. I’m very sorry Pepin,” Winnifred consoled him, as he struggled to stop his own tears flowing.

He simply nodded in response.

A thoughtful silence settled, as all who had heard Winnifred’s answer each took a moment to think of a person they had lost. More than a few thought of Titan.

“How have you avoided Leighton for so long? That man was relentless. He would be excited by this, and view it as a challenge.”

Pepin asked, but noticed his question triggered a painful reaction from the pack, and especially the Luna.

After clearing her throat of the tender pressure that tried to break through, Fidella told the story of her first Gamma, Titan. The children were enraptured, Bruno’s eyes were wide and glossy like marbles. Everyone was smiling at the memory of the hero from their lifetime. Even Pea, who had never met the brave Titan, brushed a tear from her eye, feeling the sense of loss. She marvelled at Titan’s loyalty to his Luna, but also his love for his mate. She wondered if the Goddess would ever bless her with a love so irrevocable.

Amazed by his dedication to duty, Pepin sent a prayer to the Gods hoping Titan and Georgina had found each other, and that they would help him find his own mate.

“He was the first Gamma, but the last wolf to have to suffer the loss or separation from their mates. The last of us to have to fear the conditions of capture, or the silver whips of slavery. He will be remembered as the last wolf forced to suffer these pains, so we could be the first wolves to take back what was stolen from us!” Pepin voiced to the pack, and to his surprise everyone clapped and cheered.

“That’s what we should call our pack: The First Wolves. In honour of Titan, the wolf we loved. His sacrifice granted us the chance to have experiences, and the opportunity to enjoy the firsts that were taken from us for so long. We are the first wolves to escape, and our pups will be the first wolves to know absolute freedom!” Conri’s voice boomed with passion, and the pack erupted. Conri reached down and brushed Fidella’s tears away with his thumbs, kissing her deeply.

Resuming her seat, the Luna started to unravel the scrolls that had been taken from the bunkers at the mines.

“If anyone from the mines wants to know what happened to their families, or where they were born or sold as infants, please come and see me,” Fidella called out, but to her surprise nobody approached her.

The atmosphere became tense caused by the silence that killed the earlier joviality. Only the crackle of the fire could be heard.

“Could you find out how old I am? Or what my parents’ names were? I’m the only wolf born in the mines, but most of us were already slaves before we entered, so they know about the fate of their families.” Pea called out.

She was unaware of how the established members of the pack recoiled at her question. On reflection, they realised it would be hard to count the passing of time in the darkness. Pea instinctively pulled Pepin’s arm, indicating she wanted him to come with her to speak to the Luna. Fidella had already located the scroll. It was the smallest one in the group. A life unlived. Determined to make this a positive experience for her, Fidella’s smile beamed. Only Conri could tell through the bond how much anger and melancholy she felt on Pea’s behalf.

“How old do you think you are, Pea?” Fidella asked kindly.

“Eight thousand and forty-seven candles,” Pea replied assuredly.

The ranked members frowned in confusion at her answer.

“That’s how many candles burned from top to bottom, while I was in the mines. I stopped counting when I came to the surface. It seemed pointless to count what I thought would be my last days.” Pea elaborated.

There was a growl in the distance that interrupted the solemnity of her memories. Conri’s eyes clouded over for a moment before he smiled with reassurance, ushering his Luna to continue.

“It says you are about twenty-two years old. It doesn’t document the day or month of your arrival. Your name has been omitted, there is a dash in its place.” Pea nodded, captivated by each word, and mesmerised to see a wolf read with such ease.

“It says your mother’s name was Annika. She was a digger and…and a…”

“It’s OK, I won’t be upset,” Pea urged her.

“She was a breeder wolf, she was there to replenish the slave stock. It says she was ranked Omega. She died in childbirth, as you know. Your father was called Baldur. He was ranked as a Gamma wolf, and was captured in Thule. He was sold to a Ludus, but died in his first match.” Fidella concluded, and gently placed her hand on Pea’s arm, while she hugged Pepin.

“Maybe they were mates. If a Gamma Wolf died in his first match, he might have been weakened by the loss of your mother.” Fidella suggested, hoping that Pea had been made from love.

“I hope so. I hope they brought happiness to each other's lives for a short time”, Pea replied.

Pea was struggling to unravel her feelings that had twisted together into a messy ball of wool. She tried to pull out each strand that continuously changed colour from an angry, bitter tasting red, to a peppery blue. Each time the strand evaded her, and she was once again trapped in a messy sphere of emotion. Her tribulations were too raw to watch, specifically for the wolf who had been watching from the treeline. Annoyed by his human’s inaction, the wolf took over, and stepped into view, ignoring the protestations of his counterpart.

Conri had stood up preparing to dismiss everyone, he was helping Fidella pack up the scrolls. Just as he was about to call out ‘Goodnight First Wolves’ to their pack, he was cut short by the baritone voice from behind him.

“MATE!” the pack heard the wolf growl out loudly and possessively, and Pea turned around only for her eyes to find the most handsome man she had ever seen.