Beauty In Darkness

16

That was a dismissal if I’d ever heard one. Resigned to my fate, I grabbed my heavy stack of books and moved to the door, but hesitated in front of it. There was something else I wanted to know, and if I didn’t ask now, I wasn’t sure I’d have the courage to do so later.

I took a deep breath and faced Raith again. “Why didn’t you come to my room last night?”

He jerked his head toward me. “Your room?”

Was he going to make me spell it out for him? “Yes. We are married, after all.”

He examined another vial with his brow furrowed. “I had other matters to attend to last night.”

“Of course.” I paused. “Then you’ll come tonight?”

“No.”

“I see.” I tried to keep the disappointment from my voice, but it was difficult. Rejection always hurt, even from a man I barely knew. I swallowed and tried to smooth over the awkward moment. “I understand. We only just met, after all. We need some time to grow better accustomed to each other.”

“No,” he said again, more forcefully. “I have no plans to visit your room. Not tonight. Not tomorrow night. Not any time in the foreseeable future.”

“You don’t?” I blinked at him. “But…surely you need an heir.”

“Eventually, yes. We’ll face that problem later.”

I blew out a long breath, unease swirling in my stomach. “Later.”

His stormy eyes swept over my body like a caress. “Are you so eager for me to join you in bed?”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. “No! Definitely not.”

He turned back to his vials and sounded almost bored when he asked, “What is it then?”

“I simply want to know my role here as your wife. What do you want from this marriage? An apprentice, fine. But what else? A friend? A partner?” My voice dropped to nearly a whisper. “A lover?”

His back stiffened, and when he spoke next, his tone was hard. “I don’t expect anything from you. We were both forced into this marriage and we must try to make the best of it. If you’re hoping for a grand romance, you will be sorely disappointed. Best to get that foolish notion out of your head now.”

“Trust me, I don’t,” I snapped, as his words burned through me. “You’ve made it quite clear you have zero interest in me in that regard.”

I threw open the door and stormed out before he could cut me down more. Perhaps it was foolish to hope for a marriage filled with love, but didn’t everyone wish for such a thing? Even a princess who knew her role was to be married in a political alliance could dream of romance, no matter how unlikely it was to come about. At the very least, I’d hoped Raith and I could be friends someday, but he wanted nothing more than a student, and didn’t seem particularly excited about me playing that role either.

What had I expected, truly? He hadn’t chosen me for his bride. He would have picked another if I hadn’t volunteered. Perhaps the idea of lying with me completely disgusted him. Perhaps he looked at me and only remembered the wife who’d died, who no doubt would have made a better queen. Perhaps we would never be more than acquaintances forced to live together in the same castle.

I’d have to find my happiness and fulfillment in some other way, it seemed. Starting with this giant stack of books.

Ten

Rose

I

spent my entire day in the library reading through the dreadfully dull books Raith assigned me, until I thought I would fall asleep if I kept going. Oren also pulled out some books on Ilidan’s history and customs, which he added to my pile. The more I learned, the more overwhelmed I became, and the more respect I felt for Lily, who had studied like this all her life for her role as Talador’s next queen. If only I could talk to her now and ask for some guidance.

The library was large and filled to the brim with books of all different types, many more than we had in Talador, and our library wasn’t exactly small either. Violet would be delighted to be surrounded by so much knowledge. Someday I’d invite my family to visit me, once relations between our kingdoms had been smoothed out more. Or when Raith finally taught me his damn teleportation spell.

I groaned and rested my head on my arms, which were folded across a massive tome detailing some wizard war from a thousand years ago. I’d always wanted to learn magic, but never thought it would involve so much reading. I did enjoy reading, but I preferred fiction with romance and adventure, not dry, never-ending historical texts. Perhaps Raith’s plan was to drown me in books so he never had to actually teach me magic—or spend time with me at all, for that matter.

Oren eventually saved me by taking me on an afternoon tour of Varlock Castle. In many ways it reminded me of my home with its thick halls, ornate carpets, and high ceilings. But in others it was completely different—the dark stone, the pointed arches, and the large number of torches, candles, and braziers waiting to be lit. It wasn’t the foreboding place I’d imagined it to be, though it was still unnervingly empty for a castle. I did meet most of the staff, who were all polite even if some eyed me with suspicion and others gazed at me with hope. A heavy feeling of responsibility settled over my shoulders, which was entirely new and both unexpected and uncomfortable. These people were under my charge now, relying on me to shape their families’ futures. I was never supposed to be a queen, and wasn’t at all prepared or qualified for the duty.