Deep tenderness

What is love?

Scratching my nape, I went back into my room to rest myself. I see my little brother wrapped around my bedsheet sleeping on my bed, I didn't want to disturb him. So I gently woke him up reminding him to go back to his bedroom. "Rayy!" I heard a similar voice from behind, it was aria again. She was here to spend the weekends with me. I shushed aria letting her know that Ron was here in my room trying to get some good sleep. We both walked out of the room and with an affable smile she said, "I missed you so much, how's everything going?" I sighed knowing I should explain every little thing that happened last night, even though I know she could understand it with my facial expressions itself I had to explain. She patted my back and gently brushed my hair, "I am here to cheer you up, let's have a great weekend okay?" she question, my eyes sparkled and a shine of anticipation was shown. My tearful voice brightened up with interest. We both continued to plan for the weekend, while my dad left for his office. We planned for a long amusement trip, but with mac. A frown was shown on my face when Aria continued planning the weekend with mac and herself. "Hey, you good?" she asked, "nevermind I was just lost in thoughts," I replied, I wish she could really understand by my response that I hated Mac. I only wanted me and aria having fun like all the time, she was really someone I wanted a happy moment together with.

I got dressed as we were about to head to the amusement park with mac. Aria was so happy to go together with me and Mac, but if she was happy and smiling I could do anything for her and only her. Later that day, we walk in the park with mac towards the rides. Aria spots an ice cream shop and heads in, I looked at Mac hoping that he would pay for the bill. He smiled in a flirtatious way with his teeth shining right at my eyes, I chuckled a little because the only person I was seeing up until now was Aria. She walked into the ice cream shop with a huge smile on her face, more like when a small kid gets inside a toy store, she's cute. Meanwhile, Mac playfully hit my shoulder because accordingly, I was his girlfriend, I had to play along and get shy. We had each other's ice creams when Aria decided to share. And, by the way, I had to pay the bill, of course, why would the school's f**k boy or even clingy aria bring some money. We walked towards the rides and I see aria getting excited like a child, she was so pure.

She can kill me with her smile, and ruin my faith with a casual lie. She hides like a child, but she's always a woman. And that was Aria for me. She will smile when she feels happy around me, cries when everything is starting to hurt. And she's ahead of time. Aria was really living a life of a child, hiding like a pretty flower until we see its colorful petals. She's always here when I cry and never gives in. I walk into the park filled with flowers and sit around to watch my beautiful girl having fun. She sits on the rollercoaster and waves at me, like a child. Ignoring her boyfriend, I waved back at my precious little thing. The ride starts and she woos and enjoys the whole experience. And, just like she did, I also enjoyed her presence. She runs towards me with a huge smile after the ride, and runs over me and falls over my face. I look at her and giggle, I smile at her adoring nature.

Both of us laughing in the flower garden like there is no tomorrow for love was making me feel butterflies all over again. I could find mac flirting with other women besides, while I and my love are happily smiling at each other. Later, we walk for some good snacks and she eats my cotton candy teasing. She keeps half of the candy in her mouth and smiles at me to eat the other side of the candy. I try to eat the other half, and later realize that all the crowd has been staring at us in an abnormal amount. I awkwardly push her away and walk back into the restroom. My heart was teary, my mind was blank, why was being a homosexual a huge thing? Why was standing out from "The normal" a huge consideration in society? Why didn't I have my time with the person I love? Was this really a punishment for being gay? Why did god give me so much pain in life then?

 I hear a knock from the door, there she was my pretty little girl. She gets in and spots me in tears. She gently walks towards me with her soft cotton cady. She tucks my hair behind my ear and talks, "Ray, You know what? This is what I want to call Love. It is an expression I can never help to explain in words or paragraphs, It is an emotion of euphoria and happiness when I am with you. And now, I really don't care to stand out to be different and be gay. It's a part of me." She smiles. She gets closer and kisses my lips in the embrace of love, I taste the sweet candy in between the kiss. I smile, I smile so brightly feeling her lips on mine. And then our eyes meet, she laughs and I laugh back. Again, she eats half of the candy and teases me to eat the other half. I laugh and eat while we continue to kiss. My heart was like a kite flying up in the sky, it was so unreal.