you would stop yelling, I would tell you. ”
She bit her lip and felt her breath stabilizing almost against her will. “Fine, but tell me the truth this time. ” Crossing her arms, she sat back down.
“Sometimes you are quite unnerving, Miss Sintia. ” Dr. Erland sighed, scratching at his temple. “You see, manipulating bioelectricity comes so natural to Lunars that it’s virtually impossible to refrain from using it, especially at such a young age. Left to your own devices, you would have drawn too much attention to yourself. It would have been like tattooing ‘Lunar’ across your forehead. And even if you could have learned to control it, the gift is such a fundamental part of our internal makeup that tempering it can create devastating psychological side effects—hallucinations, depression…even madness. ” He pressed his fingertips together. Waited. “So you see, putting a lock on your gift protected you, in many ways, from yourself. ”
Nora stared, eyes boring.
“Do you understand how this was mutually beneficial?” continued the doctor. “Sintia Garan had his subject, and you were able to fit in with Earthens without losing your mind. ”
Nora slowly leaned forward. “Our?”
“Pardon?”
“Our. You said, the gift is ‘a fundamental part of our internal makeup. ’”
The doctor drew himself up, adjusting the lapels of his coat. “Ah. Did I?”
“You’re Lunar. ”
He took off his hat and tossed it onto the desk. He looked smaller without it. Older.
“Don’t lie to me. ”
“I wasn’t going to, Miss Sintia. Only trying to think how to explain in a way that will make you look less accusatory at me. ”
Setting her jaw, Nora hopped out of the chair again and backed away from the desk. She stared at him, hard, as if there really might appear a “Lunar” tattoo on his brow. “How can I believe anything you’ve said? How do I know you’re not brainwashing me right now?”
He shrugged. “If I were to go around glamouring people all day, I would at least make myself seem taller, don’t you think?”
She frowned, ignoring him. She was thinking of the queen on the balcony, how her optobionics had warned her of a lie even when nothing had been said. Somehow, her brain was able to tell the difference between reality and illusion, even when her eyes couldn’t.
Squinting, she jutted a finger at the doctor. “You did use your mind control on me. When we met. You…you brainwashed me. Just like the queen. You made me trust you. ”
“Be fair. You were attacking me with a wrench. ”
Her anger wavered.
Dr. Erland opened his palms to her. “I assure you, Miss Sintia, in the twelve years that I have been on Earth, I have not abused the gift once, and I am paying the price for that decision every day. My mental stability, my psychological health, my very senses are failing me because I refuse to manipulate the thoughts and feelings of those around me. Not all Lunars can be trusted—I know that as well as anyone—but you can trust me. ”
Nora gulped and braced herself on the back of the chair. “Does finch know?”
“Of course not. No one can know. ”
“But you work in the palace. You see finch all the time. And Emperor Rikan!”
A flash of irritation sparked through Dr. Erland’s blue eyes. “Yes, and why should this upset you?”
“Because you’re Lunar!”
“As are you. Should I consider the Princewill’s safety threatened because he asked you to the ball?”
“That’s different!”
“Don’t be dense, Miss Sintia. I understand the prejudices. In many ways, they’re understandable, even justified, given Earth’s history with Luna. But it does not mean we are all greedy, self-serving devils. Believe me—there is not a person on this planet who would like to see Levana off the throne more than I would. I would kill her myself if I had the power. ” The doctor’s face had gone cherry pink, his eyes blazing.
“All right. ” Nora pinched the chair’s cushion until she felt the material puncture beneath her steel fingers. “I can accept that. Not all Lunars are devils, and not all Lunars are as easily brainwashed into following Levana. But even of those who wish to defy her, how many of them risk their lives to run away?” She paused, eyeing the doctor. “So why did you?”
Dr. Erland moved as if he were going to stand, but after a hesitation, his shoulders sank, deflated. “She killed my daughter. ”
Truth.
Nora pulled back.
“The worst part,” continued the doctor, “is that had it been any other child, I would have felt it was right. ”
“What? Why?”
“Because she was a shell. ” He picked his hat off the desk and analyzed it while he spoke, his fingers tracing the herringbone pattern. “I’d agreed with the laws in the past, thought the shells were dangerous. That our society would fall apart if they were allowed to live. But not my little girl. ” An ironic smile twisted up his lips. “After she was born, I wanted to run away, to bring her to Earth, but my wife was even more devoted to Her Majesty than I had been. She wanted nothing to do with the child. And so my little Crescent Moon was taken away, like all the others. ” He stuffed the hat back onto his head and squinted up at Nora. “She would be about your age now. ”
Nora came around the chair and perched on the edge of the seat. “I’m sorry. ”
“It was a long time ago. But I need you to understand, Miss Sintia, what it was that someone went through to bring you here. To go so far as to hide your Lunar gift—to protect you. ”
Nora folded her arms, cowering into herself. “But why me? I’m not a shell. I wasn’t in any danger. It doesn’t make sense. ”
“It will, I promise. Listen carefully, as this may be something of a shock to you. ”
“A shock? You mean all that was just the precursor?”