Carnival Lights

Chapter 1

Acknowledgements

Twenty years ago, the seed for this book was planted during a ten-page classroom exercise at the University of Central Florida. The professor, whose name I’ve forgotten, said, “You owe it to Sher and Kris to finish their story.” Since then, it has gone through hundreds of iterations until it settled into the story on these pages. I’m grateful to the professor at UCF, as his words stirred a sense of responsibility in me to this story and its characters.

Many have supported and guided me along the way as I have worked for healing, identity, and belonging. Many years ago, Sam Emory brought me back to White Earth Reservation during a snowstorm to get my Indian name, which was the beginning of my return to Anishinaabeg. Earl Hoaglund gave me my Anishinaabe name along with a life-long connection through his kindness and patience. Both have passed on now, but I’ll always remember Sam’s crazy-fun sense of humor and Earl’s pancakes. I try not to miss them too much. I also especially want to acknowledge Skip and Babette Sandman, Tommy Saros and Becca Countryman, Sheila and Terry Lamb, Terry Forliti, Jessica Smith (both of them), Patti Larson, Deb Foster, Michelle Noor, Amy Arndt, Eileen Hudon, Brenda Hill, Mysti Babineau, Sherry Doughtery and Cyndi Carlson, April Posner, Romona and Lisa Abrazo, Melinda Masi, Catharine MacKinnon, Marie Caples, Maggie Kazel, Trina Porte, and Rene Simon. And, in loving memory and with gratitude for our friendship, Andrea Dworkin. I want to thank Dora Ammann, and all the elders, whose presence in our community is a quiet, steadfast source of spiritual support for so many, me included.

AnishinaabegAnishinaabeMany thanks to Sherry Quan Lee, Deb Blake, and Amy Foster for their comments on the manuscript. I have much appreciation for Victor Volkmann, especially for his extreme patience with this book.

Most especially, I want to thank my grandmothers, now in the spirit world, who passed down everything I needed to live a good life. And much love for niiyawen’enyag Daanis and Zhoni, as their young lives provide much hope that our ways will carry on.

niiyawen’enyag DaanisZhoni, It would be incomplete to not express my gratitude and love for the land and water, especially the woods and lakes of Northern Minnesota where I spent much of my childhood, and where I go to now whenever I have the opportunity. My heart resides in that particular place on earth. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. When I look at the stars in the night sky, I know I am exactly where I should be—among the same trees and water that saved me as a girl. Miigwetch, mishoomis. I am most grateful.

Miigwetch, mishoomis.