It's Not Him, It's You

Chapter 10: Not Ready

Maxwell pulled over at the curb in front of the building. He quickly unbuckled his seatbelt, open the door beside him, went around the car, and open the door for me.

“Thanks,” I said and gave a polite smile at him. He opened the backseat to get my books. “I think this is too much for me. You can now go home. I really appreciate your kindness,” I added and carefully grab my books from his arms.

“Are you sure? I don’t mind—”

“No, it’s okay. You’re so kind and I appreciate that,” I said. “So, uhm, bye?” I chuckled.

He pursed his lips and nodded, “I guess so. I’ll see you later, then,” he said. I nodded and made a quick wave at him before getting inside the building. He is such a gentleman and kind of cute.

I waited for the elevator to open. I stood there outside as I watch the number change. Then, it ‘pinged’ and the door opened. Then, our eyes met. I stopped breathing for a moment.

Scion was standing inside the elevator with his hands inside his pockets.

“Get in,” he said shortly.

He’ll join me inside? No!!

“You know what? I forgot something back at the bookshop. I should head back there right away,” I reasoned out.

“The bookshop was closed. There was note it was close for Christmas break,” he abruptly said before I could even pivot my heel. I paused and face him again.

“Really?”

“You don’t know?”

I awkwardly laugh, “Of course I know! Hahahaha,”

“If you knew, you wouldn’t head back in the bookshop,”

“I was talking about a different bookshop,” I grinned. “I forgot something in the bookstore I got these books,” I said.

“But it says it’s our university’s library property,” he deadpanned. That’s it. I have no way out anymore. He must have noticed the violet stamp under the book. I sighed and closed my eyes firmly.

“Get inside,” he said that sounded to me like an order which will make me suffer series of consequences if I wouldn’t follow.

I took a deep breath before I step foot inside the elevator. I stood behind him. I can see our reflections at the steel doors of the elevator. His stares burn.

“Why aren’t you answering my calls and texts?” he started looking at my reflection.

“I was busy with deadlines. I’m intending to finish school works before Christmas break, so I can enjoy my whole break,”

“Then, why did you run off when I met you at the admin office?”

“My professor called me. Telling me I have to pass the project before past twelve or he’ll give me a negative,” I lied. You all knew why I run off that day.

“Are you intentionally avoiding me?” this time, he turned his back at me. Now, I realized how a big disadvantage for me to stand behind him. He could corner me anytime with his firm arms.

“Me? Avoiding you? Why would I? I told you, I’m just busy,” I look up and our eyes met. Again, this unhealthy force from him is hypnotizing me.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to visit you. I was busy, too. I also didn’t know that you go to the same university,” he said and sighed. He steps forward and encircled his arms on my waist. The pile of books stood like a wall between us.

“I miss you,” he whispered to me. He sounds like he’s super tired.

I didn’t reply. I don’t know what to say. Because as of now, I’m still confused about how I truly feel about him.

Finally, the elevator opens and he moves away. “Let me carry that for you,” he said. Without another word, I let him take the books. We both head out of the elevator and went to my apartment.

I fetch the key inside my purse and twisted it inside the knob. It clicked and I push the door to widen the way for the both of us. He first went inside as I lock the door first. I turn around and saw him place my books at the coffee table.

“What are you doing here, anyway?” I said as I move closer to him.

“Visit you, of course,” he said and sat down on my couch. I stood in front of him with a safe distance between us.

His forehead creased, “Why do I feel like you’re distancing yourself from me?” he leaned forward and placed his elbows on his thighs to support his weight. “Did I do something wrong?” he added and now, I can see the panic in his eyes.

“No, of course not,” I denied as I shake my head.

“Then, what is standing there? Come here,” he held out his hands. I hesitated to take his hand but soon enough, I took his hand and he quickly pulled me close to him. He made me sit on his lap. I was forced to encircle my arms around his neck to keep myself from falling while he securely kept me in place by snaking his one arm around my waist as his hand planted on my thigh.

He slowly leaned his face closer to mine but I quickly spoke, “When I left, did you really find ways to contact me again? Did you try to find my whereabouts?”

He looks surprised at my sudden question, “Why have you asks?”

“Because I just want to know,”

He sighed, “I didn’t,” he looks down.

Why?

But I didn’t speak. I didn’t ask him.

“Because…I was still hoping that you’ll come back to me. I still believe that you just went on a long vacation with your family,” he said in a low voice.

It made me lower my guards. My heart softened and my breath went smooth.

“Why did you wait? I shove you away, Scion. I cut you off. I even said hurtful words to you on our last call,”

He raises his head to look at me again, “That’s how much I like you, Nikola,” he said and caressed my cheek. “Because as far as I can remember, you still haven’t answered my question that night at the cliff,”

My heart started to beat fast.

Will you be my girlfriend?

“And up until now, I haven’t received any response from you. But now that I have found you, that finally, I have spent many nights with you, I got scared for your answer. I got scared that I might not hear the answer I was dreading for,”

I’m scared, too. I’m scared that we might end up hurting each other. I’m scared that after saying ‘yes, I might withdraw myself again from you,”

 But I’ve got to tell him how I feel right now. Right at this moment, “I am at peace whenever you’re with me,” I said. “But…I’m not yet ready to commit for any relationship at the moment,”

Sadness flashed in his eyes. I wanted to stay free. Free from any ties and knots. I just want to enjoy the moment of individuality.

“Does it mean I’m rejected?” I felt his arm loosened around my waist.

“It means I want you to wait,” I said. “I…” I hesitated because I am so embarrassed to even say it.

“What is it?” he pushed.

“I want you,” I finally uttered looking straight into his eyes. “I want you to stay beside me always,” I added, then chuckled, “Am I asking too much?”

He cupped my nape and pulled my face closer to him. “No,” he said in his manly voice and place his lips on mine. My eyes automatically fluttered shut. His kiss lingered for just five seconds and he breaks the kiss. He leaned his forehead with mine and we feel each other’s breath.

This time, I was the one who kissed him the way he did. I even pull him closer to deepen our kiss and we break apart gasping for air.

“I’m spending my Christmas break in New Zealand,” he said, looking down. “It’s such a pain that I can’t see you for weeks. My aunt insisted that I should come with them,” he added and look at me.

I chuckled, “I know,”

He paused, “How did you know?”

“Your cousin told me?”

His eyes widen in surprise, “You know her?”

I nodded and grinned, “Yes. She’s my friend, Jessica,” I said.

“What a coincidence,”

“I know, right?” and we both laughed. “Remember that day I told you that my friend is going to introduce me to a guy that night at the party?”

He licked his lips sexily, “Yeah, I do,” he nodded.

“It’s you,”

Our eyes met, “Excuse me?”

“I said it’s you she’s going to introduce me. You’re the guy I was talking about that night,”

A sexy smirk slowly appeared on his face, “So all along, the guy that made me jealous was myself?”

I pursed my lips to resist myself burst into laughter, “Yes,” I cheekily grinned.

“Does Jessica know?” he asks and I nodded. “Yeah, she knew. Since I wasn’t able to meet you no matter how might she tries to meet us up, she told me different things about you,”

He blinked and slowly, his face turns red, “Really? What did she tell you?” his voice kind of panicked.

I look at his eyes and leaned closer to his ears, “That you’re so obsessed with me,” I whispered and move away from his ears to take a look at his reaction. It was supposed to tease him.

He chuckled in such a sexy way I ever heard him laugh, “Really?” he said. We looked at each other, “Because she’s not lying,” he said in a husky voice.

I yelped when he easily grasps both sides of my waist, heave me up, and made me sat on his lap with my thighs apart. He leaned his face close to me and put his lips on top of mine. I tightened my arms around his neck to pull his lips even closer and to deepen our kiss.

He licked my lips to part my lips and I willingly let him on. His tongue expertly traveled every corner of my mouth which made me hot and dizzy abruptly. I was so drunk with his slow-paced kiss.

Then, his lips went down my jaw, neck, and my collar bone. I quiver as he lives wet kisses on every skin his lips land. His left hand supported my back while the other one traveled down to the hem of my sweater. His palm sneaked under my sweater and he paused kissing me to pulled my sweater off my head.

I obediently followed his lead. He returned sucking my mouth as he expertly unbuttons my dress shirt I was only left on. When the buttons all down, I felt his palm made contact with my stomach, leaving it burning for his touch. He kissed my lips, then my jaw, and soon after, his lips went down my neck and down to my chest.

I watch him as he lowered his head and his other hand unclasped my bra. He just lowered to have access with my breast. I felt shy as I saw my breast exposed to him. But I quickly arched my back when he started sucking my n*****s, making me offer my breast to him even more.

It’s such a different feeling. I moaned loudly as his mouth sucked my breast one to another. His free hand went up and starts to massage the other one as he sucks the other. Everything he does to my body was making me wet down below.

“Scion,” I moaned his name. “Oh, god,” I gasp as he expertly does his job.

He stopped sucking my n*****s and raise his head while his other hand was still massaging the other. Our eyes meet and he watches my gasps for air as I get lost in his touch.

His hands soon left my breast and went down to the zipper of my jeans. I leaned closer to him and started sucking his mouth and explored his cavity with my tongue. I kneeled so I was on top of him and he easily unbuttons it and unzips it all the way down.

I felt him slip his palm under me. “You’re so wet,”

“That is because of you,” I said in between kisses. “You did this to me,” I added.

“Look at me,” he said and I obliged. I paused kissing him and stared down at him instead. “I want you to look at me,” he added and I nodded.

I slowly calmed down as we stare at each other's eyes. Both of us have those desires in our eyes to have each other, to feel each other.

“Answer me,” he started. “Are you still a virgin?”

I got stunned for a while by his question that I wasn’t able to answer right away.

“Just nod if you still are and shake your head if you’re not,”

I nodded. Yes, and I still don’t want to do it.

“And I respect that and I won’t do it until you permit me, okay?”

“Okay…” I nodded like a child.

“You can tell me to stop anytime, Nikola,” he then said. “Look at me and don’t close your eyes,” he added.

Soon after, his palm sneaked under the thin garment and gently rubbed me. My mouth was left agape as feel him under me again. It has been so long since I felt like this. Now, my body was kinda getting used to his touch.

He slowly rubs me under and my breathing quickened but still remains composed. He leaned up and kissed my lips passionately. I close my eyes for the moment. When our lips parted, he said, “You’re so irresistible, Nikola. You’re so beautiful,” he said as his pace quickened making me slide my hips to the rhythm with his hands.

The burning sensation I was feeling elevated as he sucks my left breast. I moaned loudly that I think could reach the neighbor. I hope the senior next door won’t hear me.

“Don’t stop, please,” I begged as rock my hips.

He soon removed his hands under and stood up, scooping me with him. We made out as he left the living room and went somewhere. I don’t know where he’s going to take me but I don’t care anymore.

My back collided with the cold surface. It must be a wall. His tongue was licking every part of my chest and they were burning.

After a while,  he sat on the edge of my bed while I was still hovering on his lap. He slowly lay me down and he crawled over me. He fit his body in between my thighs.

He looked down on me. “I want to make you feel good but it’s not what you think it is. Do you still want to do it? Mmh?”

 I slowly nodded. He then lowered my jeans until I was left with my underwear. He lowered his head like a hound and kissed the surface of my entrance. I want to arc my back so bad but he pinned my hips in place.

I gasp and moaned alternately as he continues to tease me. Then, he bit the garter of my underwear and slowly pulled it away. He tossed it to the floor and dive down under me.

He licked and teasingly kissed me every corner which drives me crazy.

“Scion,” I moaned. “It feels so good,” I gap as I bit my lip. I grasp his hair pulled them as he licks me. “F*ck, I think I’m coming,” I breathed.

“Come with me, babe,” he replied. “Come to me,” he added that made me come out finally.  I was gasping for air as I finally came out. He licked the remaining and cleaned me up. I sweating so hard. I’m exhausted but feel good at the same time.

He then lay down next to me. I look at him,” That’s unfair,” I complained. His forehead made a series of wavy lines, “What’s unfair?” he asks.

“You’re still fully dressed while I’m half-naked!”

He chuckled as he keeps both of us under my blanket. “That’s your punishment for doing that to me last night we made out,”

“What? But I made it up to you already,”

“And it wasn’t enough. You made me hard for the whole day the next morning. I can't focus when I study and it feels so hot every now and then,”

I blushed quickly as he blatantly tells his agony. To divert the topic, I asked him, “When are you leaving for New Zealand?”

“Tomorrow,” he sighed as he made a pillow of his arm to take a look at me properly. “What about you? Are you going home this Christmas?”

I nodded as I stare at his alluring brown eyes. “Yes, it will always be like this and besides, I miss them too,”

“Can’t you tell me, at least, your address? Perhaps, if I get bored there, I can fly back here and visit you instead,”

I really appreciate the thought but, “Nope. It’s private,” I grinned at him and leaned closer to kiss him quick. “It’s not our personal address. I live under my grandpa’s roof and I respect his privacy,”

“You’re such a turn-on. You’re almost perfect,”

“Sweet talker,”

He brushes off a strand from falling to my face. I follow his finger as it locks the strand behind my ear. He pulled my back slowly closer to his body and he kissed me so slowly. Passionate but at such a slow pace that would make you forget who you are and where you are. I shut my eyes as I feel the friction as our bodies made contact with each other.

I put my arms on his waist and pushed myself to him, entangling my legs to his hips. He parted first as he gasps for air.

He chuckled, “You’re not going to let me off easily, are you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re driving me crazy,” he said in such a low tone that it almost sounded like a whisper.

“Are you okay?”

“Let’s fix you up,” he sat up from bed. “Until I can still restrain myself,” he whispered in agony.

Now, I understand what he means. I just composed myself and ignored the feeling of being wet again.

He helped me clasp my bra together, button my dress shirt, and put on my underwear and pants again. I felt used to it as he dresses me up and I no longer feel embarrassed in front of him.

 After fixing my hair, he cupped my face again and kissed me passionately. He parted and our eyes met, “I can’t wait for you to be my girlfriend,” he said and smiled at me. That warm smile that could thaw anyone's heart.