Tales of the Heart

004 | The Invite

"Where have you been all morning, Karl?" I rudely asked my roommate.

"I just go for a morning run and I don't want to wake you up at 6 am in the morning with me, but I got you a coffee, an iced latte, fifty percent sugar, I hope you like it?" He dramatically replies back and his eyes dart back and forth between me and his girlfriend.

"And who is this girl anyway? She said you are her boyfriend, is that true?" I asked. They look a lot like each other, not gonna lie. If she didn't tell me she was Karl's girlfriend, I would mistakenly think she was Karl's sister.

"Oh yes, she is my girlfriend. I forgot to tell you last night that Stacy would be coming by in the morning." He nods his head, trying to apologize to me, for making my first day a little bit awkward.

"I would like to think me and Karl could make our living arrangement and friendship work, but with his girlfriend coming into the picture, I'm just not sure anymore, that girl is a trainwreck.

"I don't want to be rude to you, but your girlfriend really needs a moral class, " the words tumble out before I can stop them. I mean, as most people said, the truth tends to get out by itself.

Karl started laughing when he heard what I said, but his girlfriends weren't as amused.

Karl's girlfriend queries, "Why are you laughing, Karl?" She certainly gave off the impression of being a little crazy.

"No, it's nothing, bebe—I'm laughing because of what Alex told me last night, which had me laughing till this morning?" I attempted to be a good roommate to him when he winked at me and asked me to play along. I agreed to his antics.

Karl started laughing when he heard what I said, but his girlfriends weren't as amused.

Karl's girlfriend queries, "Why are you laughing, Karl?" She certainly gave off the impression of being a little crazy.

No, it's nothing, honey—I'm laughing because of what Alex told me last night, which had me laughing till this morning? I attempted to be a good roommate to him when he winked at me and asked me to play along. I agreed with his antics.

"Oh, yeah, I told him a dad joke last night that I learned from my father, you know?" I half smirk.

"Yeah, I know what dad jokes mean, I don't need you to explain it to me, i***t?" She cut me off, and I let her too, because I didn't want her to feel like an i***t and break up with my roommate.

"It went something like this: Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?"I winked back at Karl, asking him to continue the joke.

"And I said, In case they get a hole in one!" and we both start laughing, acting like it is a very good joke, even though it is a dead joke and not even funny at all.

"You guys are idiots, it explains a lot why Mrs. Pendleton put you guys together as a roommate," she said and walked over to the fridge and get a beer.

"It's 8:00 a.m. in the morning, really Stacy?" I said, eyeing my roommate's girlfriend.

"What's your problem Alex, I drink whatever the f**k I feel like drinking." That girl really needs more than just a moral class, she needs to go to rehab ASAP before her timebomb behavior gets worse.

"Just let her be, man, she always likes that every morning." Karl turns and whispers into my ears.

"Stacy has a.. a unique way of getting her energy to power up her entire body, and that energy is alcohol. She needs to drink at least one beer or whiskey every morning", he explains, looking back at me.

Lovely, so basically what he is saying is that his girlfriend, Stacy, is simply an alcoholic person plus rude.

The Italian girl shrugs and changes the channel with the remote in her hand, acting like she owned the room, AGAIN.

"Hey, Slamshot, there is a party in the dorm basement tonight, you should come and be my boyfriend's drinking buddy," Stacy asks, and I rudely decline the offer. I don't want to make friends with those kinds of people like her.

"Sorry to disappoint you, drunk girl Stacy, but partying isn't really my strong suit, and besides, I have to go off-campus and get some food stocked in the fridge. I don't want to waste a lot of my money on expensive school food." I look back at Stacy who, of course, is acting like a complete jerk and didn't even bother to listen to what I'm saying back to her.

"Come on, dude... it's just one party! You're in university now, and one party won't hurt your grade," Karl begs. "And how are you going to get off Campus, I thought you didn't have a car?" He asks.

It's not like I don't want to party with them, but if my mom gets wind of it that I'm partying on my first day away from her, she gonna be really pissed.

"To be real with you, dude to dude, I don't even know anyone. Besides, I was going to an interview for a job at a coffee shop near our Campus. A night shift kind of job," I tell Karl and Stacy, of all people, start to laugh her ass off again,

"You gonna be a barista at Harry's favorite coffee shop, oh boy it gonna epic when he sees you there," she said, acknowledging that she is paying attention after all, but try to be a d**k at me instead. I mean, what is her problem?

"He can go f**k himself if he has a problem with me working there," I reply back politely.

"Come on man, at least let Stacy and I drive you there." Karl offers, and there is no way in hell, I am going to sit with that girl in a car, and be stuck with her the whole ride.

"I was going to walk to the nearby subway, and take it to the city instead. I don't want to bother you or Stacy. I'm pretty sure she is a very busy person, with all her drinking and partying," I explain my transportation method to Karl, and roast Stacy along with it in the process.

"You do not want to take the Subway on the weekend, especially today! They're way too packed, Stacy and I really don't mind dropping you off on our way to her brother's bar.. right?" Karl says.

I've only known him for a day, and that is not a lot of time to put my own safety on someone. But I know that, despite how tough Karl looks, he is quite cool. But a party, really? Half of me wanted to go, but the other half said No. It is so hard for me to decide right now. Friends or study. Which should I pick?

"And besides, you can come to the party after your interview, right? I mean just come man.. please?" Karl presses his hands together in a dramatic plea, pushing my feelings to say yes, while my brain strongly disagrees with that decision.

"I don't know, man.. and no I just don't want to bother you any longer, really man, the subway is fine for me," I say, rolling my eyes at Karl, while Stacy continues her laziness and rolls over across our couch with her shoes on.

"Oh no! I was really looking forward to hanging out with you, Alexander the Shy girl." she dryly remarks, her voice is so full of sarcasm that makes me want to throw her out of our dorm room window really badly.

"Really, man, you gonna let me down, the first day you were here ?" Karl adds, acting sad and giving me a disappointed look.

"Come on Karl, you know this little boy isn't going to show up at the party. Stop wasting your time and let go, my brother is waiting." She laughs, now I understand why the Americans hated the Italians so much during the war.

"Actually, like you said Karl one party won't hurt my grades, I'll come," I say with the sweetest smile I can muster. Stacy laughs again and Karl squeals before wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug.

"That's my man, Alexander the Great. We'll have so much fun!!" he said, which I actually like. Alexander the Great, I think I heard that name somewhere before, or it was just my mind making it up, thinking I'm so great that people used to call me Alexander the Great.

"Hey, Karl, bebe, get change, we need to go now, my brother waiting---he needs you to help him with Ahhh-" Stacy tries to find the exact words to explain to her boyfriend, which I'm pretty sure she always forgets because of her hangover last night and the night before.

"His new motorcycle, right?" Karl adds.

"Yeah, yes---his new bike, now can you please get change quickly? I'm gonna go downstairs and warm up the car, okay." She says, kissing Karl on the cheeks and leaving. Finally, she is gone now. What an ass she is.