I LOST MY PEN(it's not a normal pen)

I AM CHANGED

          I attend the call it was dharshini also i starts speaking but something happens to her Cos she was 

crying loudly i don,t know why . I confused she didn't  say anything  why she was crying, i am feel so bad 

to hear her voice crying, then she says let's we breakup, i don't know what happens to her, but i know her 

parents brainwashed her.

                         "WE CAN'T LIVE TOGETHER, I AM SO SORRY', she said ,

           i totally confused, i was crying why she do that kind of thing, i asking why "    I DON'T DO ANY BAD 

THINGS", then why you breaking up with me,

                      my parents fixed my marriage on coming "FRIDAY', they black mailed me to do this or they 

can have poison, what i do now, i had no choice " I AM O SORRY MADAN", but i only loves you,

                          Other side i am crying, i don't want to my mama hears me on crying so i closed my room's 

door. i am begging to her  don't do that such things i want to be marry with you, but she don't cares about 

me "HOW I FEEL", she wants only break up with me i am so sad and i hate myself, 

                          I questioning her "WHAT YOU DO, I TAKES THE POISON", cos of you.

                   she replied " I WANT MY PARENTS", i gets the answer of mine answer.

               Oh you want you'r parents now then why you "INTIMATE WITH ME", you said you liked me more 

than you'r parents, but that's all are fake, cos you want my body only not my soul, not my feelings.so you 

get rides on me now i am bored to you, so u search another one who looks good.

                     She was crying more and said "PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT KIND", i told her to i would say cos 

that is true, you tear off you'r mask. she was speaking of very sad.

                        I thought  she and me getting married, we may i thought we would be happy but she broke

 every thing just in a second.  Every one plays with me first my friends now you, but every time i am the 

one getting hurt by who i loves.

                       Those asshole's are teaching a lesson to me don't close to anyone and don't care about 

anyone.

                         Well, me also think we getting break up is better than to live together cos you showed me 

your true face. 

                        But one thing i want to say to you"YOU'R A b***h", good bye......

               I cuts the call and i am crying, cos i loved her so much now she's gone,i can't accept that but  

that's the true i know. but i can't, i thinks too much of feelings her, i dreamed so much how we live, how

 will we grow our's child, how we travel together in the world ,  it all was broken by her. she flied.

                       Later she calls but i cuts that, i don't want to speak to her and i blocked her number, i don't

 want to use mobile phone,so i want to surrendered it to my mama.

                I am totally wash out, later i opened my room's door, my mama was come to me and asked why 

you looks like sad, i hugged them and cried, "EVERY ONE IS FAKE TO ME", i said it. My mama was advised 

me and rubbed my head, She made me sit on the sofa and then put me to bed on his lap, she rubbed my 

scalp. And scolds me "Why do you expect others to be true to you?", just you true to them but you don't 

want to expect that.

                    Because every one is runs for their goals, ambitions and their lives. so you can't expect it,only 

you can trust your family cos they we don't want to loose you or feel sad.

                       At that time i realized family is more important so i loves and cares my family only, not 

others.

                    But i hurt, so i  want to change my self i starts work out and  do exercise in home on evening 

time. morning i would go to play ground for running, cos i want to be fit my body, that's the reason i 

working hard to get that kind of body.

                       Every night before i sleep, i am thinking of her and hurting my self. i wanted to end it any

  way.so i had drink alcohol to forget her but  that makes me remember every thing later i can't do any 

exercise cos of my drinking habits, i want to stop it or control it but i can't.

                    Some one tells to my mama  "I WOULD DRINK ALCOHOL FOR FEW DAYS", later i came to my 

home mama was asking "HOW MANY DAYS YOU DRINKED", i said last 7 days. she didn't scold me she 

gives advise to me. i asked you didn't anger on me, she said yes i am anger on you, but more i care you.

                       I cried and saying i can't do it again. i want to began my life with new hope. i worked hard to 

gets my path to my life. later i gets my fitness body.

                      one day evening i finished my work outs and went to bathroom to get bath, i finished, i came 

out and stands near by mirror, i am surprised to see me like this kind, it was amazing. my hair style also 

improved and my face cut is being shaped. mama calls me to drink coffee cos it was evening,

                  i sit on sofa and drink coffee, i turned the TV on. a super movie is going on it, i starts to watch. 

movie name is CHOCOLATE BOY he playing a playboy role. i watched full movie. it was full of romance he 

don't love any one but he INTIMATE  those who flirts to him. he enjoyed it.

              I went to sleep, later i slept i had a dream i was in my college  and so many of them are walks on 

the   floor, i went to my class room. in my class professor is not came until now so we are started 

speaking, singing, playing. some girls are watching me i don't know why they all watching me my college 

friends are said those girls are sighting you. i was surprised to hear that but that's true. 

                But i can't see none of the girls cos i don't want those feeling, later every girls are come to me, 

they all  hugged me tightly i said please leave me alone but even they didn't care what i say they wants 

only me. then my noose is bleeding little i don't know why but that is the first time. i am scared,

                i moved away, and my teacher comes to she is asking what you do here, i said nothing, later she 

asked me to INTIMATE with her. i don't know why they are doing this to me, i asked my college friend why 

every one is flirting with me, he said " YOU'R PLAYBOY" , so they do.

               Waked suddenly, cos my dreams are made me to wake, in my dream i was a playboy ,i laughed. 

and i thinks myself "WHY SHOULDN'T I CHANGE TO PLAYBOY", i switch on the lights and i went to stand 

near to mirror, watching me in mirror looks like a charming boy, i gets a confidence to be a playboy. later i 

slept cos mama shouted "YOU NOT YET SLEEP i***t".

                So i switched off the light and slept.........

          Morning i wakes up early cos want to go play ground for running, later i came home. i finished my 

bath, i stand in front of my mirror and i am watching me, i feels i am a playboy later my nose is bleeding 

little it was my dream scene but it's come true to me Cos "I AM PLAYBOY", now. 

            As probably i practice to becomes a perfect play boy, i am practicing to make my eyes romantic 

looks as if to attracts every one who see my eyes. i created my own romantic expression on my eyes.later 

i started practice to perfect body language, how could i behave anyone who speak to me that is most 

preferable one to becomes a playboy. 

            I am doing this practice when i am free. after 10 days of practice i learnt some thing, Cos my sister 

said "how you have different look and body language now" , but it was cool to you brother. that was my 

result of practice, so i am a playboy now.

                Later we start to eat dinner, mama preferred "BIRYANI", i eat well, as usually she gives us apple 

juice that day was so awesome and makes me feel better Cos i thought , i achieved some thing. That 

thought was correct i achieved to became a play boy now.

                    Slept well, morning i wakes up and went to play ground for running  but this time some thing 

happens, one of our street girl is looking me, i even don't care why she looks me,because i knew it. she 

was sighting too much when I run,

                   Afterwards i came to my home, i bathed well, finishes my breakfast. i started watching TV my 

Favourite show is going on i keep watching , times gone fast now its afternoon, me also finishes my 

launch and lying on  sofa and begun to watching TV, mama scolds me later and she want me to do favour 

for her.me also said YES.