My Beta brother is my mate

PART ONE: Chapter 1

A Letter to my lover

Sick!

I felt sick every moment of the day. Freda is one month old and Rachel is one month dead. I’ve been a walking dead for the past month.

At first I couldn’t accept it, but as days went by it started to dawn on me that she was never coming back. That was when my unhealthy consumption of alcohol came in, it wasn’t strong enough to black me out but it was strong enough to numb the pain; I would’ve love for the former but I had Freda to tend to.

Rachel was an Orphan, so the burial didn’t take too long to plan since it was just Freda, Ida and I; Ida was Rachel’s best and only friend, I don’t know what’ll be of Freda and I if Ida wasn’t here. Ida had her own family and I felt bad that she had taken out of her family time to care for us.

I sat out on the porch in the middle of the night, surrounded by several bottles of finished beer. I could hear Ida’s quiet snoring along with Freda’s soft heartbeat.

Seamus has been quiet since Rachel’s death. He occasionally peeks out whenever I carry Freda in my arms, but apart from those times I barely feel him.

I felt more human and less wolf as the days go by, I had no will again. I could barely even look my daughter in the eyes, she looked so much like her mom. So beautiful, so precious, so delicate.

The crickets sounds as background music to my ears as I looked at my lifeless surroundings.

I felt like a pushover, what will Rachel say if she saw me like this?? She’ll probably beat my ass with a frying pan like one of those Disney princesses she loves. I chuckled at the thought. My fierce and feisty lover.

I could taste my tears along with the sour taste of the beer. I felt like screaming, but I didn’t want to wake the girls up.

Our house was at a desert corner and close to the forest, Rachel didn’t mind. She loved nature and nature in turn loved her, she would sing as she tended to our now dead garden and the birds would sing along with her. Her soul was so pure even Seamus was mesmerized.

I pray Freda had a soul like hers, she already looked like her apart from her having my obsidian colored hair; she had her mother’s very pale skin color and eyes as green as the rainforest. She would grow up to be such a heartbreak, and when she finds her mate; he’ll love her so damn much she’ll probably get sick of it.

I smile sadly at the thought, her mate.

I’ll probably be one of those dads that have to chase the teenage males away with a shotgun or something- I cringed at the thought.

I was already so over protective of her, would she hate that? I know must females hate it.

A thought burst through my head: My daughter was not even among a pack and it’s a two percent chance of finding her mate without being in a pack.

My heart broke at the thought, when she shifts her wolf will start wanting a pack connection and it will break her so much if she grows up a lone wolf.

My brows furrow as an idea popped in my mind. An idea I hated so damn much, but it wasn’t just me now. It was Freda and I.

And if it meant going back to that godforsaken place for her to live a good life, I’ll do it a thousand times.

They’ll be able to train her, she’ll have other females to look up to. Other females to direct her and guide her. Other females that’ll understand her better than I will, after all I’m a male wolf who has no idea how female wolves go about their lives apart from when they are with their mate.

Maybe she’ll find a mother figure in one of the many female wolves. I remember my younger sister, Thalia. She was the only one who knew of my plan to leave, she begged me to stay but I just couldn’t. I regretted it for years. She must’ve grown so much now, probably mated with her own pups.

I pray she was mated to someone in the pack but it was unlikely, The blood moon pack was a small pack.

I gathered my self and went into the house as my idea began to formulate itself. I knew if I didn’t do it now, I’ll probably start having second thoughts.

It was best if we left by the end of this week, we didn’t have too much. I’ll leave the house to Ida because it was likely we’ll never need it again and that was the only way I knew I could repay her.

I wrote a brief letter to her explaining why I left anonymously without including my wolf-life aspect. I knew it was a terrible thing to do, after all her help but there was nothing left in this place for us.

We were wolves and we needed a pack, maybe Seamus will even be unburdened a little if we go back. I could feel him silently acknowledging my idea with mild glee.

When morning came, I suggested that Ida go home for some hours to check on her family, I decided it was best to leave when she left. I gave her a sympathetic smile as she waved at us from her car.

I quickly packed up our valuables like: clothes and photos which weren’t much. An hour later, I dropped the house key and the note on the dining table before I bounded out of the door with my daughter in my arms.

I viewed the house one last time remembering how Rachel and I danced on the porch the night of our wedding when we came home, it was the first time we slept together as husband and wife. We barely had anything inside, just a bed and few clothes. I couldn’t hold back the tears as the memories of us hunted me.

She was buried at the backyard, I knew she wouldn’t be happy being buried among people she knew nothing of, so I decided to bury her here.

And the last thing I did was to write a letter to her, she was a sucker for romance; she loved novels, poems and letters. I had all the letters she had written me in a box at the bottom of my luggage. She wouldn’t be too happy about us leaving her alone here but I know she’ll understand.

A letter to my lover;

To the woman of my dreams,

Everyday I dream of you. I dream of how happy we would’ve been if you were here with us. Everyday that passes Freda grows more and more in your likeness. I know you would’ve adored her and she would’ve loved you as much.

Today I decided it was best we leave and go back to the pack so that our daughter can have a better life. I alone can’t do this. I just can’t.

When I dreamt about having kids, it was you and I and not I alone. I know for a certain if you were here things would’ve been far more better but you aren’t and it hurts. You never should’ve died. For In life I loved you dearly and In death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place, that no one will ever fill. It broke my heart to lose you, but you didn’t go alone. A part of me went with you, don’t be too lonely up there for I know my time isn’t too far and I’ll be there very soon. Wait for me, My love.

From your Hercules,

Willy.