Rose And The Other World

My visit to the therapist

In this white walls , many small chairs , a desk full of papers , so many people waiting like me .

It is where i have an appointment with a therapist.

It has been a long , since summer i didn't come but the place didn't change .

The same wall , the same ground , sometimes the same patients .

I remember every side of the room , i didn't forget all the conversations that happened here .

I was waiting , there are three patients that came first and they are going to enter .

I spent the time reading some magazines to entertain myself because it took so long seating on that place .

The secretary that works there couldn't stop looking on my eyes and starring at me !

I don't blame her , she is new ! , she doesn't know me ! She have no idea that I am used to come here !

Finally after all this time , it is my turn , i entred by the door , i saw him staying on his seat , he told me to join him in the brown confy couch that was standing next to me so i accepted politely.

He was taking his notebook on his hands to write down like every therapist does and started bringing back my atention by saying :

- Hi Rose it is pleasure to meet you again !

- Thanks me too !

- I think we have a lot to catch up ! First i want to ask you how are you doing ?

I wasn't sure if i have to tell him the truth or saying that everything is ok

- I am fine ! ............really fine !

Then i added fast :

- ok i am laying i am not alright !

- why , is there something bad happened lately ?

- Yes ... it was terrible !

- Then tell me ! .....i am listening !

- I broke up with my boyfriend !

- it is normal , this is the first time you had a romantic relationship ! and this is the first time that you experience a breakup !

- No but it wasn't a normal one !

- What do you mean by that ?

- I am the one who is guilty that time and that is because of my fault he ditched me ...... i hurted his fellings , he saw a picture of me kissing another guy !

- But you didn't do it on purpose right ?

- No of course not , i was drank and i wasn't aware of what i was doing that night but i still fell horrible !

- Don't be hard on yourself , you know that is not your fault and he will understand that when he hear that from you !

- Yes it is not my mistake ! All that because of Amy !

- What did she do ?

- She planned all that , she has a friend named Angelia , it is the one who invited us to this unforgettable party .

After that she told Copper the boy on that picture to be so close to me , to impress me , what a villainous idea !! Can you imagine ?

- Can you tell me more about Amy ? Where did you first meet ? and how she was ?

- I knew her last year , we studied on the same school ! .

I went to her home one day , she welcomed me with open arms , she treated me nicely .

She was showing me her collection and her room , we went to a tour with the bicycles in the forest !

It was remarkable !

Amy was that cute and sweet girl , she was really kind ! But now everything changed , she would do anything to annoy me and harm me !

- i saw your eyes when you talked about her and how she was ! They were lightening , i can fell them !

- Yes she was my friend but now i can't forgive her of what she did !

She is mean and cruel to me !

- but did you ask yourself why she behaved like that ? Maybe she has something to deal with , problems , conflicts...

- No i didn't , i asked her one time but she didn't answer !

- perhaps you have to give her another chance to explain what she did !

- yes i will but it is too late for me and Josef , we will never get back together he probably hate me right now !

- Do you want to know if he really likes you ? Tell me how was your relationship between you two this two years ?

- He means a lot to me ! , he is the most incredible pearson i have ever known ! , he was a loyal friend and a good partner .

That is true that we fight sometimes but that is very commen in every couple , at the end , we can get to a solution together and continue undrestanding eatch other ...

- If he trust you and know you well , he will be comprehensive and talk to you , he just need some space to get back to what he is

- Yes i am not that kind of pearson , being patient and persisting !

- It is what you have to do and try to be calm and not think about it for a while because that will makes you more and more anxious !

- I can't stop being stressful !

- That is by practice , you will learn how to decrease your stress

- I hope , i actually don't want to worry anymore !

- Ok then i will see you at Thursday , i am glad to meet you , be on time ! ( he stood up quickly from his place , showed me the way to the door )

It was a long session ! I can't beleive that i am done talking !

In the same time , it was helpful for me to lead me to the right path !

Maybe he is right , maybe i need to give people the time to think and then act .

I have to understand them as they do the same to me , to search for the reason and not stand on my room waiting for explanation !

I am not the only one who has trouble , other can suffer inside without knowing or being able to see !

I left the place , thinking about what i can do to recognize the answeres to the questions that were stuck on my mind this hole time ! and be sure of how can i react !