When I Gave Him My Heart, He Regretted It

Chapter 3

Once upon a time, Ethan would never have let me get away with saying something that harsh.

Right after we graduated from college, we'd had another stupid, petty fight that blew up into a breakup. In a fit of pique, I'd told him I wished him all the happiness in the world.

He'd gone dead quiet all of a sudden.

He went silent for what felt like forever, then lifted his head, eyes bloodshot and glistening, and looked right at me, every word heavy with feeling. "Zoe, tell me, how am I supposed to be happy if you're not in my life?"

The cold wind stung my eyes until they burned, and it felt like it was slicing right through my heart too.

I blinked back the stinging ache in my eyes, my voice rough as I forced out, "Okay. Got it." That felt like a lifetime ago now. I'd been fighting cancer for three years. I'd even volunteered for experimental new drug trials just to have a shot at surviving, but the aggressive cancer cells had won out in the end.

I'd wanted to get healthy first before I saw him again, so I could finally clear up that misunderstanding from all those years ago.

But since I never got better, there was no point in clearing it up anymore.

I stood rooted to the spot for ages, watching Ethan walk away, determined to hold his figure in my line of sight for as long as I could, until he vanished entirely. But he'd only taken a few steps when Jake came barreling over, practically bouncing with excitement.

He ran right up to Ethan, his voice wobbly between sobs and glee. "Ethan, you're saved! We waited all these years, and we finally found a heart donor that's a perfect match for you! This is all thanks to your girlfriend, y'know? You better not piss her off ever again!"

Girlfriend? Was Ethan getting married?

My breath caught in my throat for a split second, then I got it back under control right away.

He'd found happiness again. That was good. That was really good.

I was still zoning out when Jake's nasty words cut right through the wind and hit me square in the face. "Zoe, Luna made a ton of dirty money lying about Ethan back then. How come you're still living in this shithole neighborhood?"

His voice was dripping with deliberate malice and pure disgust.

The air turned thick enough to cut with a knife, dead quiet.

Ethan turned to look over at me too, his gaze dark and unreadable. I smiled.

I said, completely unbothered, "Don't tell me you two thought that money would last me a lifetime?"

Jake was left totally tongue-tied for a beat, then he snarled, "You're such a shameless b***h. Go ahead and keep scraping by. When you die, you're gonna rot in the deepest pits of hell."

I kept my tone calm and matter-of-fact, the corner of my mouth tugging up a little. "Alright, I'm actually kinda curious what hell's like myself. When I get there, I'll send you a dream and tell you all about it."

Jake scowled down at me. "Bitches don't live long. Just you wait."

Ethan suddenly spoke up, his eyes fixed on me. "Zoe, do you know what the biggest regret of my life is?"

I froze for a second, totally thrown off. "What?"

The ice in his eyes turned even colder. "That I ever reached out my hand to you."

It felt like a bullet had slammed right between my eyes. I knew exactly what he was talking about.

The day we'd first met, I was walking home from school when some thugs started following me.

Ethan happened to be riding his bike past, and he reached a hand out to the terrified me. "C'mon, hop on. I'll give you a ride."

The thugs thought he was my boyfriend, so they targeted him for revenge, and he ended up missing the college entrance recommendation exam because of it.

I'd felt so guilty that I brought him breakfast every single day for a month.

And that was how our whole story started.

If he hadn't reached out that day all those years ago, we'd have stayed two parallel lines that never cross paths forever.

He regretted ever having met me.

My eyes burned, but my lips tugged up into a faint smile I couldn't hold back. "It's fine. It's not too late to regret it now, right?"

I drew in a deep lungful of the frosty air.

The cold slithered down my throat and seeped all the way into my bones, a sharp, throbbing ache so bad I could barely stand it.

Ethan stared daggers at me—the first time he'd even bothered to look me in the eye since we ran into each other again.

He noticed my tiny, delicate face seemed even sharper, even smaller than he remembered.

Even the smallest puffer jacket hung loose on me like an oversized hand-me-down.

He snapped his gaze away just as fast and turned on his heel, walking off without so much as a backward glance.

Only when he was completely out of sight did I double over, slowly crouching down on the ground. I pressed a hand hard to my chest, gritting my teeth against wave after wave of cramping pain, waiting for it to pass as quickly as it had come.

Buzz. My phone rumbled in my pocket.

I fished it out, but the second I saw the caller ID, every hair on my body stood on end.

My hands were shaking so badly I dropped the phone straight onto the ground. Luna's cold, sharp voice drifted out from the speaker.

"I'm back. I'm heading over to see Ethan right now. You coming with me?"