This will be my summer

Chapter 12 – don’t leave me alone

He carefully placed me on the ground when we reached his car, an old Ford that stuck out from the few other cars that were parked here by people that didn’t want to take the bus. He unlocked it and we got in.

It was a bit dirty and he had stuff lying around, but I didn’t care at all. The seat was really comfortable and I snuggled into it when he started driving.

“I’m Aiden, by the way”, he said after a while.

“I know”, I replied in a faint voice, almost asleep already. When I looked over to him, he seemed surprised.

“I told Ashley about you last weekend. I was so pissed about the whole thing; it was stuck in my mind the entire week.”

He didn’t reply to that and just frowned. I wasn’t sure about what, but I should probably return the courtesy. I was going home with him after all, even if I was just going to stay on the couch. “I’m Ava”, I told him.

He gave me a quick look before turning his eyes back to the dark street again. “So, you thought about me?”

I laughed quietly. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I was just mad about the entire night and you added to that.”

“Oh”, he said, almost sounding disappointed. Why would he sound disappointed? I stopped trying to blend into my seat and sat up straight to look at him. “Why?”

“It’s nothing”, he said in an embarrassed voice. Now I was curious. “Obviously not, so tell me.”

He shrugged, staring at the road and avoiding my gaze. “It’s just, that, mhm, well, I kinda thought about you too.”

I chuckled. “That’s not too surprising after what I did, is it? You must’ve been mad too.”

He laughed nervously. “Yeah, that must be it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Alright, I’m literally going home with you, so spill it.”

He shrugged, still a bit nervous and embarrassed. “It’s just, most of the girls around here aren’t like that. They are either really focused on their studies and careers or they are here to find a husband and marry rich. And neither of them talk back like you did.”

“So I left an impression on you?” I chuckled. “That’s not what I expected at all.”

After that we stayed quiet for a while. I stared out the window, but the only thing I saw was the reflection of my own face. I yawned and snuggled into my seat again when he broke the silence.

“What did Ashley tell you about me?”, he asked.

I shrugged. “Not much.” I didn’t want to admit that she had told me about his family and I had felt sorry for him. We really didn’t know each other well enough for that. Besides, how do you even start a conversation like that?

“She had to tell you something.”

I squirmed in my seat. “She told me that you are in a few of her classes and that your family died and I didn’t want to mention it because I suck at being sensitive about stuff like that”, I blurted out. Immediately embarrassed I put my hand in front of my mouth, but the words had already escaped. Not sure if I wanted to see his face, I turned to look at him. I could only see his silhouette because of the darkness, so it was hard to tell how he reacted to my words.

After thinking for a moment, he chuckled. I stared at him in confusion.

“At least you’re being honest”, he explained. I relaxed a bit and shook my head in embarrassment, not believing I had really just said that. “Sorry”, I mumbled.

“No, it’s alright”, he replied. “At the beginning most people tiptoed around me. Now all they do is look at me with either pity or disgust. It’s refreshing to hear someone being open about it.”

“Well, I would tiptoe too if I knew how to do that”, I admitted. He rewarded me with a brief smile in my direction.

After another pause, he asked: “So, you’re not from around here. Did you just come here to visit Ashley?”

I looked back outside and sighed. “It’s a long story. Short version, I’m staying for the summer. You know the small coffee shop with the old-fashioned interior, right off the main road? I work there for the summer and Ashley lets me stay with her.”

I couldn’t believe I told him so much about me. Well, it wasn’t really much, but it seemed like a lot to tell a stranger. But he just gave me the feeling that I could trust him, and I was too tired and drunk to carefully watch my words and actions.

“Chrissy’s coffee shop? Yeah I know that.” I looked at him, but he didn’t explain it any further. Maybe he regularly went there too, although I hadn’t seen him during any of my shifts.

“It’s nice of Ashley to let you stay with her”, he continued.

I nodded. “Yes, I’ll be eternally grateful for that. I don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

He gave me a curious look but didn’t push it any further. I was thankful for that.

It was actually nice to talk to him. Besides Ashley I didn’t really have any friends anymore and I felt like I had almost forgotten the feeling of just spending time with someone, without wanting to hook up with them. Don’t get me wrong, he was very much my type. But the situation wasn’t like that at all and I was tremendously enjoying that.

Maybe he could really be my friend. Suddenly I felt the need to explain myself, so I wouldn’t lose that.

“You know”, I started. “Usually I’m not behaving like that. Hooking up with strangers and stuff. It’s just-“

But he interrupted me. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. It’s your life, I don’t get to judge.”

I looked at him, my mouth wide open. It took me a second to close it and swallow. I really just wanted to say that. I didn’t want him to think of me as a slut, even though he might not use that word. “But I want to. So, I never really did anything like that. And next year will be stressful, with lots of studying and working. I pretty much only have this summer to party and do something crazy. And that’s exactly what I need right now.”

He kept his eyes on the road and didn’t reply anything. But I was glad that I had said it.

The rest of the drive was quiet. I actually fell asleep and only woke up again when softly touched my shoulder. I flinched but calmed down when I realized it was Aiden.

I rubbed my eyes before remembering that I was wearing make-up. Great, now I probably looked like a panda bear.

“We’re here”, he said. I looked outside and saw a small two-story house on a big lot. A few dozen yards away there was a garage and in front of us was the house. Despite the darkness I could see that it was older but it looked cute. There were children’s toys and other stuff I couldn’t identify laying around in the driveway. Right, he lived with his sister and her family.

Slowly, I got out of the car and carefully closed the door to avoid making too much noise and waking someone up. It was still dark and probably in the middle of the night. The fresh nightly air hit me, and I took a deep breath.

Carefully I tried to put some weight on my right foot. I could stand, but it still hurt. Aiden came around the car and picked me up again. I didn’t even complain this time, I just cuddled into him. He had to be really strong, I was skinny but really didn’t weigh that little.

He put me down to unlock the front door before picking me back up. Careful not to make too much noise he carried me inside without turning the lights on and closed the door behind us. I tried to see which room we were in, but it was too dark. He took me down a tiny hallway and up some stairs. After opening another door, he sat me down and turned on the light, after closing the door again. I squinted my eyes, blinded by the sudden light. When my vision came back, I looked around.

It was a small room. Undoubtedly his bedroom, as most of the space in it was taken up by a bed to my right. On the wall in front of me were two windows with a desk below them. Several shelves were put up on the walls, containing books and other stuff. Next to the door to the hallway was a half-closed curtain, behind it was his closet. There was another door on the same wall, probably a bathroom.

“Mhm, thanks for carrying me”, I said, kind of embarrassed now that everything literally came to light.

He just looked at me for a moment. When I looked down, he said: “Uhm, yes. The bathroom is behind that door. Do you need something to sleep in?”

Without waiting for my answer, he pulled his closet’s curtain aside. It was a small closet with not much stuff. He pulled out a hoodie and handed it to me. “I don’t think any of my stuff will fit you. Is that alright?”

I just nodded as an answer. He nervously turned around to leave before turning back to me. “Okay, mhm, you can have my bed and I’ll stay downstairs on the couch. Do you need anything else?”

I stared at him. “I thought I was supposed to stay on the couch?”

He laughed nervously. “I know I said that, but I mean, I can’t really let you do that.”

I shook my head. “No, really, it’s fine. I’ve lived in a dorm for four years; your couch can’t be any worse than that.” It was nice enough that he brought me here, I didn’t want to kick him out of his own bedroom.

But he got all serious. “No, you stay here. Go take a shower. There are extra towels in the bathroom just take what you need.”

With that he turned around and left before I could say another word. “Thank you”, I said to the closed door in front of me. Then I turned around and opened the door to the bathroom. It was tiny but had everything I needed. It was a bit dirty, but not in a way where people don’t take care of their things, more in a way where people don’t have the time to take care of their things.

With a sigh I closed the door behind me, took a towel from a shelf and stripped naked. I had to wait for a while for the shower to get hot, but dang, it felt so damn good to have that water stream over me and wash away all the sweat and dirt from the woods. His shower gel smelled really nice too, which was a plus. Like pinewood and something else I couldn’t identify.

After I got out of the shower, I put my underwear back on and the hoodie he had given me. He was taller than me, so it covered my butt completely and even a bit of my thighs.

When I opened the door, I almost got a heart attack, because Aiden was standing in the middle of the room and I had not expected to see him again tonight at all. I jumped a little at his sight because it was so unexpected.

He flinched and then laughed nervously at my reaction. “I just brought you some water for tonight.” He pointed at his nightstand, where he had placed a glass with water. Then he turned around to leave.

“Wait”, I said, biting my lip. I wasn’t sure why, but I didn’t want him to leave. I just felt safe in his presence. And I didn’t have that feeling for a long time, I didn’t want it to end.

When he turned around to look at me, I didn’t really know what to say. So, after a moment I just said: “Thank you.”

He nodded and tried around to leave again, but I took a step in his direction and he stopped.

I looked down, scared he would try to think I was flirting with him. “Would you stay here with me? I don’t really want to be alone right now.”

He didn’t respond and I could feel my cheeks turn red while still staring on the ground. “Never mind, I’m sorry. That really isn’t part of your job description. I’m sorry, you’ve done more than enough for me.” While speaking I turned around and went to his bed. I took a sip from the water he had brought me and avoided looking at him.

“I didn’t just help you because they pay me.” When he said that, I looked back up to him. He just stood there awkwardly, and I could tell he was trying to find the right words.

“Then why would you help me?”, I asked.

He shrugged slowly, not taking his eyes off me. “I don’t know. There is just something about you. You’re stuck in my head.”

I didn’t really know how to respond to that. And I really didn’t want to admit that I was feeling the same way. The situation was crazy enough anyway.

He stood there for one more moment, then turned around and went into his bedroom. I could hear him shower after he had closed the door. Not really sure what that meant, I turned off the big light and just left a small lamp on his nightstand on. Then I snuggled into his bed, which was very comfortable.

After a while, I was already dozing off, I heard the shower stop and then he came out of the bathroom. “Do you still want me to stay?”

I turned around to look at him. His hair was as dripping wet like mine and he wore long grey sweatpants and a white shirt, which looked way too good on him. I bit my lip, thinking for a second. He was a stranger after all. But I really didn’t want to be alone, so I nodded.

He came closer and got into the bed on the opposite side. When he had settled down, I turned off the light and we were left in complete darkness.

I could hear him breath next to me. I wish he would put his arm around me, it made me feel safe. I just wanted a hug, nothing s****l. I couldn’t even remember the last time Benjamin hugged me, just to be close to me.

After a moment I heard him turn to me. Slowly he put his arm around me and pulled me closer. I hold my breath for a second, but there was nothing s****l about it at all. I wondered when the last time he had had a girl in here was, since he had told me earlier most of them talked down to him. Maybe he needed this hug as much as I did.

I snuggled closer into his embrace and relaxed. I could feel him do the same, could feel his breath on my hair. Just enjoying the feeling of being close to someone. Feeling safe.

And with that feeling I dozed off.