This will be my summer

Chapter 11 - maybe not all men are trash

“Oh, lovely. Do you want to call me a slut again? I could really use that right now”, I angrily spit in his direction and tried to stumble past him. My ankle hurt really badly.

He stepped closer and reached out to me. “I really want to know if you can walk or if you need help to get back to the house.”

He tried to grab my arm, but I stepped back, so his hand was just awkwardly hanging there. I tried to decipher the look on his face, but it was too dark to really see anything. Only his grey eyes reflected the light from the house a few dozen yards away.

Why the heck would he want to help me? It had to be a trap. I shook my head and started moving again, cursing and almost falling back down when I put weight on my right foot. But before I could hit the ground for the second time in less than ten minutes, a strong arm grabbed me and hold me up. Before I could even react or say anything, he had picked me up in his arms and started walking.

“Let me down!” I squirmed, trying to make him let go of me. Where was he taking me? I could barely take the feeling of being so close to him.

“Oh shut, up, will ya. I’m taking you back to the house.” He sounded like he was angry too, but it was well hidden under his controlled tone.

Once I stopped squirming, I saw that he was telling the truth. After a few steps we had passed the tree line and walked around the house. There were people behind it, facing where the busses were parked, and on the two other sides facing the barn and the woods. He walked around it towards the porch facing the countryside, where barely anyone was at. He didn’t say anything while carrying me, didn’t even complain about my weight. After I had stopped struggling, I looked up to him and realized that I was actually feeling good in his arms, which confused the hell out of me. He had insulted me last week after all. But for some reason his controlled calmness swapped over to me and made my anger subside. He kept his eyes away from me, only looking straight ahead where he was going. As we got more light from the house when we got closer, I could tell he hadn’t shaved in a day or two and looked really tired.

He walked up on the porch and sat me down on one of the benches posted there. Now we were all alone. He looked at me for a second then sat down next to me.

“Are you alright?”, he asked.

I couldn’t look at him, so I looked down on my ankle. “Why do you care?”

He laughed quietly. “That’s kinda what I’m here for. Besides, I wanted to talk to you.”

I looked up to him when he said that. “Why? It’s not like we have anything to talk about.”

He frowned, then looked away. “What were you doing in the woods alone?”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, I wasn’t alone the whole time. So, go ahead, call me a slut or whatever you want.”

I tried to turn away when he said: “You do realize not all men are trash, right?”

I turned back to him and leaned in closer, putting up the most fake smile I could master. “Sure. And I bet you are the exception?”, I said in the sweetest tone possible.

He just stared back. “I just want to know if anything happened back there and if you need help because of it. That’s all.”

I couldn’t shake the feeling that that wasn’t all, but whatever. I sighed and leaned back to close my eyes for a second, really tired now. “No, nothing happened. I just got angry over nothing and tripped over a root. So, you can go on and protect someone else, I’ll be fine.”

But I didn’t hear him move, so I opened one eye to look at him. “Why are you still here?”

He smiled awkwardly, tuned away and back to look at me. “You know, I wanted to apologize for last time, but you are really not making it easy.”

Now he had my full attention. I was used to guys being rude, but I don’t think one of them ever apologized to me. Benjamin didn’t for sure.

I opened both eyes and stared at him. “I literally grabbed you by your crown jewels and you want to apologize to me?”

He shrugged. “I was rude first. If I make a mistake, I apologize for it.”

I stared at him. That must be the most honest thing a guy had said to me in a while. There had to be another reason. Not sure if I could believe, I asked: “Why the sudden change of mind?”

He sighed. “I’ve been here since the party started and I saw you with Ashley before. I didn’t intend to, but I overheard part of your conversation.”

“And?”, I asked, confused. How does that change anything?

He looked at me. “Last week I had a really rough time, which is not an excuse, I know. But when I saw you there, I thought you’re one of those rich girls that always go to the frat parties and act like they own the world. And usually I just ignore them, but there was just something about you that made me lose it.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly do anything to prove you wrong, did I”, I sighed. His apology had caught me by surprise, I wasn’t even really mad at him anymore. A bit suspicious of his reasons though, maybe.

He smiled. “I don’t know Ashley that well, but we had a few classes together and she was always nice to me. And I heard how you supported her sincerely as a friend. Nobody that does that is a bad person, so I wanted to apologize. But before I could do that, I had to clean something up and lost you in the crowd.”

I just stared at him, confused about the idea of a guy apologizing to me. After a moment I said: “I guess I should apologize too then. Usually I’m not that mean, but I also had had a bad night and something about your attitude just made me go off.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I thought it was something like that. You really did look like crap.”

I dramatically breathed in. “Excuse me?”

Immediately he stopped laughing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ But I interrupted him. “Dude, chill. It was a joke. I know I looked like crap.”

I leaned back again, took a deep breath and closed my eyes. He was actually nice to talk to. Maybe I would just sit here, wait until the party was over and the busses would take us home. I wasn’t really in the mood anymore to flirt with anyone and I was kind of dirty from the woods anyway. Maybe I could just sit here and enjoy the summer breeze, that was cool thanks to the night.

“Why did you say it?” Aiden interrupted my thoughts. “Hm?”, I replied, unsure what he was talking about.

“You said men are trash. Why?”

“You really want to talk about that?”, I replied with a sarcastic tone. He must’ve hesitated and thought about it for a second, but I didn’t bother to open my eyes and look at him.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

I laughed sarcastically. Why did he keep saying that?

“I went in the woods with a guy, it was fun, until he called me a slut and took off. Something about that word just triggers me. Whatever”, I told him.

When he didn’t respond, I opened my eyes and looked at him. “Why do guys do that? If I want to have some fun, I’m a slut. If a guy does the same, he’s someone to look up to. Who the heck decided that’s a fair system?”

He didn’t have any response to that and just looked away. “I know I called you that, but I don’t think you’re a slut”, he said after a moment of silence.

His tone was so sincere and honest, it just struck a nerve inside me. Maybe he really was one of the good guys.

“Do you want to get out of here?”, he asked. And the feeling was gone. Maybe that’s why he was so friendly, he also thought I was easy to have.

I laughed harshly and stood up. “No thanks. If I wanna get laid, I’ll just go back inside.”

For the first time he really looked kind of angry at me when he rolled his eyes. “Not everything is about s*x. I’m asking if I should drive you home, so you don’t have to wait on Ashley and the bus.”

I stared at him, speechless. After a few seconds of silence had passed, I said: “Really?”

He rolled his eyes again. “You do realize that not everybody is out there to get you? Besides, it’s literally my job to be here and take care of people when they get in trouble. That’s why I’m here in the first place.”

I hadn’t thought about it before, but of course he wasn’t here for the party. Like the dumbass I sometimes was, I repeated: “They pay you?”

He sighed, impatient. “Yes. A few years back a girl got r***d, so now they pay me to be here and have an eye on things. And clean up on the next day. I’m pretty much the teacher at the prom, if you want to put it like that.”

For some reason the alcohol I had drank earlier really hit me right now. And I had thought for a second that he really was concerned about me. But no, it was just his job to take care of me. Tears started to flood my eyes. “So that’s the reason you’re nice to me? Because you had to?”

For a second he looked angry and worried about me crying at the same time. Then the anger took over. “Okay, that’s it. You’re way to drunk and emotional right now, I’m taking you home.”

I shook my head, trying to hold back the tears. “No, I don’t want you too.”

He sighed again, impatient. “What else do you want to do? Sit here all by yourself until dawn?”

He just stared at me and for once I didn’t have a good comeback. He rolled his eyes, stepped closer and looked me in the eyes. “Alright then. I have to tell some people that I am leaving, and you tell Ashley.”

And with those words he dragged me inside, left me by the entrance and took off to talk to some guys. Despite my drunk brain I tried to consider my options. He was right, the party was over for me. So, I could either sit here and wait or have him take me home. He was just doing his job after all.

I wiped the tears out of my eyes and looked around. I didn’t see Ashley anywhere. I asked some of her friends that I could get a hold of, but no one had seen her for a while. Finally, someone told me she had gone upstairs with a guy. For a second I was tempted to actually follow her, then the alcohol somewhat cleared up and I realized that would not be a good idea. Unsure of what to do now, I just stood by the stairs.

“You ready to go?” Suddenly Aiden appeared from behind me and I shrieked. “Stop sneaking up on me!”

“Sorry”, he said with an apologetic look on his face. “Sorry it took so long, I had to convince them to still pay me if I leave. Did you talk to Ashley?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, I can’t find her.”

“Then you’ll have to just text her. Come on, I want to get going.”

I shook my head. “No, I didn’t bring any keys. We were supposed to take the bus home together.”

He sighed impatiently and rolled his eyes. I really seemed to trigger that in him. “Whatever, you can’t stay here. I’ll take you home with me.” When he realized I stared at him with a frightened look in my eyes, he added: “It’s quieter than here, I have a bathroom you can get cleaned up in and a couch you can crash on. I normally wouldn’t do that, but I really don’t want to leave you running around here. You’ll only get into trouble.”

I fought with my tears again but nodded. I really just wanted a quiet place I could lay down at. And even though he was a stranger and didn’t really care about me, I felt safe with him for some reason. Maybe because it was his job and I knew he wouldn’t make a move on me. I don’t know.

After I had texted Ashley, he took my arm and lead me outside. We had to walk behind the busses and past several people making out, which was uncomfortable, even more so, because he carried me in his arms again. After the break on the bench my foot had been better, but halfway down the stairs from the porch to the lawn it had started to hurt again. Impatient as he was, he had picked me up.

I enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms, maybe even a bit too much even. I knew he didn’t feel the same way and it was just his job, but even if it was for those reasons, it had been a long time for someone to take care of me like that. To hug me without wanting something in return.