This will be my summer

Chapter 9 - everybody needs a best friend

The good feeling didn’t last very long. When I got home I headed straight into the shower, Ashley wasn’t back yet. I just let the hot water stream all over my body, trying to wash off all the disgusting things from last night. It was way to hot, almost burning me. But I needed to feel that pain to feel something.

What did I do last night? I had s*x with someone just to win a bet. I was disgusted by myself. Sure, this summer was supposed to be about s*x. And fun. But also about finding myself making myself stronger, more independent. Instead I acted like a child who saw Ashley play with a toy that she wanted and that threw a tantrum about it. Last night was disgusting, but I got myself into that mess. And I would get myself out of it again, like I always do.

I didn’t want to win this bet at any cost anymore. I’d rather tell people about Benjamin than sleep with a random guy that I wasn’t even interested in. That was an important realization for me. Maybe Benjamin was the low point of my life so far. But I wouldn’t drop any lower. No, I would use this summer to have fun and do what I wanted.

Determined I got out of the shower. Oh, I wouldn’t stop messing around with guys and trying to win this bet. But I would sure as hell be pickier about the guys I’ll sleep with. When I looked into the mirror this time, there was no ghost greeting me anymore. I looked tired and worn out, but there was a kind of strength in my eyes that I had really missed. I liked it.

The only thing still bothering me was the guy that called me a slut. Part of me wanted to b***h slap him, part of me wanted to apologize for my behavior. Something about him just drove me crazy.

Ashley still wasn’t back when I left the bathroom. It was 8 am now. Seems like her night was better than mine. After eating breakfast, I fell asleep on the big red couch.

A loud noise woke me up again. It was around ten now, as the clock under the tv told me.

“Crap”, I heard someone curse in a whisper.

I sat up and tried to see what was going on. Ashley had just walked in and apparently shut the door really loudly. That was the noise that had woken me up. With a sorry face she turned around to look at me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you on the couch at first and the door just banged shut.”

I smiled, happy to see her. “Don’t worry”, I yawned. Rubbing my eyes, I looked back at her. “Guess your night went well?”

She nodded. “Oh, he was delicious”, she said with a meaningful smile. I chuckled.

Then she walked up to the whiteboard and drew another line under her name.

“Draw one for me too, would you? I forgot”, I asked her. She turned around to me, her eyebrows raised. “You too, huh?”

I rolled my eyes. “Don’t ask about it.” Initially I hadn’t even wanted to tell Ashley about it. She would only think it was her fault and I didn’t want that. But I also couldn’t lie to her and tell her everything was alright; she would know something was off anyway.

She quickly drew the line under my name and sat down next to me on the couch. While opening the bag she had brought home with her and revealing a breakfast donut, she asked:  “What happened?”

I sighed. “It’s not really worth talking about, I just didn’t feel very well.”

She looked at me, worried. “But I thought you felt better once we got there? I would have taken you home otherwise.”

I sighed again. “You had so much fun, I didn’t want to bother you. Besides, I’m a grown-up. I need to start acting like one.”

She shook her head. “No, tell me everything. I know that’s not all.”

“Hm, but it’s not your fault, okay? I know you want to take care of me while I’m here, so don’t blame yourself. I just didn’t feel good, so I got really drunk. And when I saw you going upstairs with that guy, I got scared of losing the bet and that made me think of Benjamin. So, I slept with some random guy and it was pretty disgusting.”

Ashley looked at me with a concerned face. “Did he do anything to you?”

I didn’t understand what she meant. She could tell by my face and I saw that she was carefully picking her next words. “With those frats, every now and then a girl gets taken a little further than they want to go. Most of the guys are fun and wouldn’t hurt you, but a while ago a girl got raped.”

I energetically shook my head. “No, it wasn’t like that. I never told him to stop. I just didn’t like the way things were going, that’s all.”

Ashley sighed in relief. “Okay, I just wanted to make sure. But I want you to know, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do because of this bet. Even if you lose, I wouldn’t make you tell your parents. I just thought it is a fun way to spend the summer, to have kind of an incentive and an end goal. I never meant to hurt you.”

I hugged her. “I know.”

After I let go, she looked at me with a smirk. “Oh, just so you know, I’d never force you to do anything against your will. But this summer is just us, no boys, no strings attached. You spent most of your adult life in a relationship, it’s time to enjoy your single life!”

Her face made me laugh. It was somewhere between concern, evil masterplan and party girl. She started laughing too.

“So we are good?”, she asked after we had calmed down a bit.

I nodded. Then I frowned. “There is one more thing.”

Ashley dramatically sighed. “What in the heck else would there be?!”

I had to laugh again. Her awkward expressions and reactions always made me happy. “It’s not really something. But before I left there was this one guy that called me a slut and I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s driving me mad!”

Ashley gasped. “He called you a what?”

I shrugged. “Slut.”

She shook her head. “Do you know his name? What did he look like? I know most of those guys, I’ll tear him apart.”

Her protective reaction made me smile. “I don’t know his name. I haven’t seen him on the party. I think I ran into him when he started to clean things up, he didn’t really seem to fit in there.”

Ashley frowned, thinking really hard. “Maybe you met Aiden? But that doesn’t really sound like him.”

I just stared at her. “Is that name supposed to tell me something?”

She facepalmed herself. “I forgot you just moved here. His family was the talk of the town a while ago.”

“Why? Did he call someone a slut?” I smirked and raised my eyebrows.

But Ashley got a serious face. “No, his parents died.”

I immediately dropped my smile. “Oh.”

“Yeah”, she said. “But he is usually the sweetest guy ever, so I have a hard time imagining him calling you that.”

“Well, why would you think it was him?”

“I never got really all of the talk, but I think he was pretty broke after his parents died and now he takes pretty much any work he can get. Nobody with a reputation wants to clean for the frat guys because that pretty much equals being the lowest point of the social ladder. And they aren’t very nice to people they think lower than them. But they pay really well, so I guess that’s why he does it. And you said the guy you met was cleaning.”

“Hm, yeah. He did look kinda broke.”

“Tall guy, older than us, greyish-blond hair?”, Ashley asked. I nodded yes.

She frowned. “Maybe he had a bad day, it really doesn’t sound like him.”

I laughed harshly. “Oh, I get called a slut but he is the one with the bad day?”

Ashley rolled her eyes. “No, that’s not what I meant. Obviously, there is no excuse for that. I’m just surprised.”

I raised my eyebrows. “How do you know so much about him? He doesn’t sound like your usual crowd.”

“I had a few classes with him. I never spoke more than a few sentences with him, but he always seemed so serious and grown up. Most of the things I know about him come from others though.”

“Wait, he goes to college? And still cleans for the frat guys?”, I asked, not really believing what I was hearing. Man, they have to be giving him s**t about it all the time.

“Yeah, he dropped out for a while but got back in this year.”

We both sat there, trying to process the information we had just learned.

“Well, to be fair, you did look like a slut last night”, Ashley said. I raised an eyebrow and stared at her. “Well, to be fair, so did you, honey.”

We both looked at each other then broke out into laughter. “Oh, we really are a special bunch of girls, aren’t we?”, Ashley got out between her laughter.

“I’m still mad at him though”, I replied with a pout. But I couldn’t hold it for more than a second before I started laughing again.