The Lonely God

33.

-HER-

"Does Arles know about it?" I ask him. He shakes his head, too engrossed into the book of witches that I found for him.

"But why? This can help-"

"No, Nefret. Whatever I see, past or future, we cannot alter it, trust me. Even if we do, there are consequences," His voice is barely audible.

"Have you ever tried to change the future?" I asked staring at him while he keeps his eyes glued to the book.

"Countless times..." He trails off.

"What happened?"

"I drowned deeper into this curse," He whispers. His voice is latched with so many emotions that it breaks at some point.

"So, it's a curse?"

"Yes," His tone of voice and body language tells me that he doesn't want to discuss this. I decide to leave him alone. As I stand up and head towards the staircase, he calls for me.

"Please don't tell anyone," He pleads.

"I won't, Haestus," I assure him before I climb downstairs into the main library and find Armelius waiting with a stack of books.

"These will give you a basic idea about this place," He says as he hands me the books. I almost collapse under the weight of so many books.

"We're done for today," He says before he leaves.

"huh?"

~

I put the books on the table in the room outside my bedroom before I collapse on the couch. I have a lot to know. I wish somehow I could find out a way out of this place. I'd be gone even before Arles could say 'mate'.

My stomach growls dismissively at the sight of so much information to be devoured. I didn't eat breakfast properly so I decided to go to the kitchen and grab something to eat.

The head cook greets me as soon as I enter the kitchen. He is an old and kind man. I asked for some snacks and he warmly smiled at me before ushering me back to my room. I was confused but soon found loads of things being delivered to my room.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes as I look at the huge basket loaded with so much food. Did they really think I am going to eat this much?

I shrug before picking up the pineapple pastry which happened to catch my eye first. I remember having it with Archander yesterday.

I look at the books while munching on the pastry. Where to start from? There are books on how the whole council works, the geographical situation of Zaeris, Economic and diplomatic relations and several other books on trade, infrastructure, and relations.

My attention is caught by a history book. I pick it up and head to the bedroom. I sit before the window before opening the book before me. The book is quite old, just like the information it promises to feed me.

The pages of the book are delicate and old. They have rusted brown yet the words inked on them are legible and clear. I see some pictures of an unknown man wearing a crown and sitting on the throne while looking down at the reader regally. The caption read King Aurelio the third, who ruled Zaeris for almost 30 years.

I skip the history and lineage of Aurelio the third. I try to read about Aurelio but the text seems too vague and boring, I lost interest after reading a page. I flip through the pages mindlessly while trying to find something interesting to read when my eyes fall on a family tree.

If Aurelio ruled Zaeris before then Arles must be related to him. My eyes trail down to the bottom of the family tree to find his name. Aurelio married Brida and they had a son named Zair. The lineage ends at Zair. Arles is nowhere here... wait, what?

I flip the pages to go back to the lineage of Aurelio. Aurelio the third married Brida, the fifth princess of Kalum dynasty. After three years, they had a son whom they named Zair. Zair was the crown prince and trained under Aurelio. Just before his coronation ceremony, he took Ishtar as his ... wait! Ishtar?!

As far as I remember I was told that Arles killed Ishtar's mate which angered her and she cursed this land. I flip the pages impatiently and finally find what I've been searching for.

Arles.

There's no information that could help me get a picture of Arles' past. The book speaks about how Arles killed Zair, Aurelio and Brida. He destroyed the happy kingdom. He took ever the throne and changed rules. He killed people who opposed him. He slaughtered millions.

It's interesting to notice how they refer to Arles as a beast, the man with a wolf, the cursed and other such things which remind me that Arles is the first of our kind. He's the first werewolf who ever existed. Although it's not mentioned anywhere how he was born or who created him or how he came into existence.

The further I read, the more the book paints Arles as a dictator, a ruthless, coldblooded king. Turns out I am not the only one who hates Arles. The author of the book also seems to have reserved a tremendous amount of hate for Arles. As I finish devouring the limited amount of information about Arles in the book, I come to a conclusion: the author of the book and I'd make great friends because of the mutual hatred we share for him.

I try to search about Ishtar in the book but surprisingly, I find nothing. Ishtar has been mentioned in the book just once and besides that, there's nothing about her.

I close the book and eat some apple tarts as I read other books. I didn't realize how long I've been reading but when a knock rings out on my door, I notice for the first time that I've been lying on the floor by the huge enchanted window, surrounded by books and food, reading.

I yawn as I get up and head towards the door. I regret opening the door as soon as I open it and find him standing outside patiently. His eyes light up as soon as they fall on me. Vesta stirs inside me but disgust fills me and threatens to leak through my mouth in the form of profanities.

"What?" I ask sharply.

"It's lunch time, Nefret," He says while his eyes drift behind me, looking inside the room. I can't help but drink in his appearance. There are snowflakes in his black curly hair and the way he is dressed, it seems like he has been out.

I try to compare him with all the information that I got from the books. I don't know why but the things that I read about him don't seem much fitting. I don't really know anything about Arles to start with. I don't have any basis on which I could judge him and his actions. I don't know his past. I don't know why he is what he is. I don't know what he was before when he killed Zair and his parents and claimed the throne.

I hate him for the way he treated me. Some parts of the book do seem true if I ponder really hard but other than that, I couldn't believe that he could have done such vile things without a solid reason. Why he is like this? What made him like this? I do not know. I don't really care but I have an unsettling curiosity that won't go away until I feed it what it needs.

I nod at him, surfacing from my thoughts and close the door behind me. He walks me out of his wing and leads me to the place we had dinner last night. I sense him stealing glances at me while we walk. I maintain a healthy difference between us as we walk side by side.

I find all the ministers already present at the table. We take our seats and the servants serve us lunch. Arles instantly gets busy into a hushed conversation with Haestus and Archander while I eat mindlessly. I have lost my appetite due to the snacks so I am pushing the food around my plate most of the time.

Armelius is talking with other ministers. Some are staring at me as they did last night.

"Is there something wrong with the food, your highness?" One of the ministers asks. I remember him to be Isidorus, the minister of supernatural matters as soon as I look into his curious eyes.

"No, it's fine," I tell him while offering a smile. He nods at me but seems unsatisfied by my answer. A light conversation takes place between me and the some of the ministers but I notice Lyco Suilius and Euclio silently watching me or rather carefully studying me.

Arles notices that I have barely eaten anything. He tries to inquire about the food but I dismiss his inquiries. I see him eat barely as well. When the lunch is over, I am off to my feet, rushing back in the safe sanctuary of my room but I am stopped by Isidorus.

"Your Highness, are you enjoying it here?" He asks me politely.

"No," I blurt out and he nods at me.

"Are you getting bored here?"

"Yes,"

"Perfect, I have someone to look at my new project-"

"It won't be necessary, Isidorus," Peniculus interrupts him. There's a look of terror and annoyance to his face which has me at the verge of chuckling. Isidorus rolls his eyes before he sighs.

"I'll be happy to look at your new project, Isidorus," I tell him and his face lights up with a smile. He breaks off in a rant and suddenly, I regret agreeing to see his project. Peniculus gives me I-warned-you look but I am dragged by Isidorus to his wing before I could answer him. Peniculus follows us while giving me funny looks.

Isidorus is a talker but he is an observer as well. He is easily distracted but the amount of knowledge he has is more than all the books put together in the library. His wing is different than Arles'. His wing resembles a laboratory to some extent with bottles of colorful liquids lining the walls and books scattered over all the places. Some embalmed animals are on display, hanging from the ceiling.

"Don't touch it," Peniculus warns me when I playfully tried to tap a jar full of bull eyes.

"What's that?" I ask pointing to a jar full of what seems to be sand? Isidorus stops ranting about flying lizards as he looks at the jar I pointed to.

"A Jar of dirt," Peniculus muses and Isidorus growls at him. I can't help but chuckle at their behavior. They act like teenage boys.

"This..." Isidorus takes the jar of dirt in is hand and holds it before him "is a really interesting thing,"

"ooooooooo," Peniculus tries to annoy.

"Stap that or this jar of dirt will end up slipping off my hands and hitting that butthead off yours," Isidorus grows at Peniculus and I end of laughing hard as they further insult each other.

"Yes, so the Jar of dirt is interesting..." I interfere with their bickering. Soon they remember that I am present in the room too.

"Um yes, this jar of dirt is a very interesting thing..." He says as he opens the Jar and takes a handful of it in his hand.

"Now, see me," He says before he closes his eyes. He throws the dirt in front of him and in the next moment, violet flames erupt out of nowhere, blinding us. I squeeze my eyes shut due to the impact and open them soon to find Isidorus gone.

"I am here," He speaks behind us. Peniculus and I turn around to find him standing behind us and grinning like a five-year-old on Christmas.

"Wow,"

"This is traveling sand, you take a handful, close your eyes and imagine a place where you want to go and boom, you're there!" The wheels in my head start spinning the moment he is done explaining.

"It can take us anywhere?" I ask curiously.

"Everywhere,"

The rest of the week passes smoothly with me reading in my room most of the time. I hang out with Isidorus, Peniculus, Arcahnder, Haestus and other ministers in Isidorus' wing or in the library. Most of the ministers seemed to be reserved at first but later they started to open up more. They seem to be accepting me. I can't decide whether it's fortunate or unfortunate for me.

I ignore Arles most of the time. Sometimes, I don't even show up at dinner and lunch to avoid him. As I seem to be getting more and more good at avoiding him, Vesta seems to be getting more and more agitated and frustrated. Sometimes, I could see him frustrated too but I couldn't care less.

I am enjoying it here but still, I miss my family. I want to see them. I want to know if they're worried about me. Are they searching for me? Are they missing me? Do they even want me to come back?

It hurts me to think about them. I was a part of them yet I never felt that. I guess being related by blood doesn't always make a family. Love and affection make a family, which I hardly got from them. No matter what, I still want to see them and I have my plan ready to go back...