Chapter Three: The Real Reason
1612 Words
Toba Veymont had never planned to lie about being gay.
It had simply happened.
And unfortunately, Amara Vale had heard it.
He was sitting alone in the university café the following afternoon, staring at his phone without reading anything on the screen.
Across the room, two students were arguing over an assignment.
Someone laughed loudly near the counter.
A waiter dropped a spoon.
Toba barely noticed any of it.
His mind was still stuck on the previous day.
I'm gay.
He closed his eyes.
He couldn't believe he'd actually said it.
He had been caught outside the women's changing area, staring through a gap in the door, and instead of explaining himself like a normal person, he'd invented the first excuse that came into his head.
Now Amara had decided to make sure he never forgot it.
“Mr. Gay.”
He could practically hear her saying it.
Toba opened his eyes.
Across the café, Amara was sitting with Sophie.
She was laughing at something Sophie had said.
Toba looked away.
He had known Amara for almost two years without ever speaking to her properly.
Now, somehow, he seemed to see her everywhere.
Or maybe he had simply started noticing her.
There was a difference.
He wasn't interested in her.
At least, that wasn't what this was.
His attention had always belonged somewhere else.
His eyes moved across the café.
Celeste Laurent was standing near the entrance.
Toba's expression changed.
There she was.
The reason for everything.
Celeste had been the girl everyone noticed at Westvale.
She was beautiful in the effortless way that made people turn their heads without realizing they were doing it.
Toba had noticed her during his first year.
At first, it had been nothing more than that.
She was beautiful.
Then he started looking for her at university events.
He remembered which lectures she attended.
He knew the café she preferred.
He even found himself changing his route across campus if there was a chance he might pass her.
It was embarrassing now.
At twenty-two, he knew enough to understand that he had developed a ridiculous crush.
At least, he thought it was a crush.
He had never spoken to her properly.
Never asked her out.
Never told her how he felt.
He had simply watched from a distance and convinced himself that one day he would find the courage to approach her.
Yesterday had been one of those stupid attempts.
He had seen Celeste enter the changing area after a sports session.
He had gone near the door, hoping to catch her when she came out.
Then the door had opened slightly.
And he had looked.
That was all.
There had been nothing more to it.
But Amara hadn't known that.
And Toba hadn't exactly helped himself.
“Why are you smiling?”
Toba looked up.
Nathan Veymont had taken the chair opposite him.
Toba's expression immediately returned to normal.
“I wasn't smiling.”
“You were.”
“No.”
Nathan glanced toward the entrance.
Then back at him.
“Celeste?”
Toba frowned.
“What about her?”
“You were looking at her.”
“I wasn't.”
Nathan laughed.
“You're a terrible liar.”
Toba stared at him.
Apparently, being called a terrible liar was becoming a daily occurrence.
Nathan leaned back.
“Just talk to her.”
“It's not that simple.”
“Why?”
Toba shrugged.
“I don't know.”
“You've been watching her for months.”
Toba lowered his voice.
“Keep your voice down.”
Nathan laughed again.
“You're twenty-two, not twelve.”
“I know.”
“Then stop acting like a schoolboy.”
Toba looked toward Celeste.
She was speaking to another student now.
He watched her for a few seconds.
Then something strange happened.
He noticed Amara looking at him.
Their eyes met.
Amara immediately looked away.
Toba frowned.
He looked back at Celeste.
For the first time, he realized he wasn't thinking about Celeste anymore.
He was wondering what Amara had been thinking.
Nathan noticed.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“You're looking at her.”
“Who?”
“Amara.”
Toba looked at him.
Nathan smiled.
“You didn't even know I meant Amara until I said her name.”
Toba shook his head.
“Don't start.”
“I didn't say anything.”
“You were about to.”
Nathan raised both hands.
“Fine.”
Toba picked up his phone.
“I'm leaving.”
Nathan laughed as he stood.
“Run away if you want.”
Toba ignored him.
---
Amara was waiting outside the lecture hall when Toba came out.
She was alone this time.
He considered walking past her.
Then she looked up.
“Mr. Gay.”
Toba stopped.
“You're enjoying this far too much.”
“Of course.”
“You've used that name every time you've seen me.”
“That's because it's still funny.”
“It stopped being funny yesterday.”
“No, it didn't.”
He looked at her.
She was smiling.
Toba tried not to smile back.
It didn't work.
Amara noticed.
“There. Again.”
“What?”
“You smiled.”
“I can smile.”
“I know. I've seen it twice now.”
“Congratulations.”
She laughed.
For some reason, Toba didn't feel embarrassed anymore.
Not around her.
That surprised him.
They had only spoken for two days.
Yet talking to Amara felt strangely easy.
She didn't seem impressed by his family name.
She didn't treat him differently because he was a Veymont.
She didn't even seem particularly interested in the fact that most people at Westvale knew who he was.
She just talked to him.
Like he was ordinary.
Toba wasn't used to that.
“So,” Amara said, “how's your reputation?”
He frowned.
“What reputation?”
“The proud one.”
“You really think I'm proud?”
“I told you. I haven't decided yet.”
“Then why do you keep calling me proud?”
“Because you haven't given me enough evidence to change my mind.”
He laughed.
“You're difficult.”
“So I've been told.”
They began walking toward the courtyard.
After a few steps, Amara glanced at him.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Depends.”
“Were you really looking at Celeste yesterday?”
Toba nearly stopped walking.
Amara laughed.
“You don't have to look so terrified.”
“I wasn't terrified.”
“You looked terrified.”
He sighed.
“Yes.”
She looked surprised.
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Toba hesitated.
He wasn't sure why he suddenly wanted to tell her.
Maybe because lying to her had already caused enough problems.
“Because I like her.”
Amara's eyebrows rose.
“You like Celeste?”
He nodded.
“How long?”
“A while.”
She looked thoughtful.
“That explains a lot.”
“What does it explain?”
“The staring.”
Toba gave her a look.
“I'm not proud of that.”
“You shouldn't be.”
“I know.”
Amara smiled.
“But at least now I know you're not a complete creep.”
“Thank you.”
“Don't thank me yet.”
He laughed.
They reached the steps leading toward the main courtyard.
Amara stopped.
“You should just talk to her.”
“I've thought about it.”
“So?”
“So nothing.”
“Why?”
Toba shrugged.
“She's Celeste.”
Amara stared at him.
“That makes no sense.”
“It does to me.”
“She won't know you like her if you never tell her.”
“I know.”
“So tell her.”
Toba looked at Amara.
“You make everything sound easy.”
“Some things are.”
He smiled.
“Maybe.”
She started walking again.
Toba followed.
Neither of them noticed that Celeste was standing on the other side of the courtyard.
She watched them for a moment.
Then she turned away.
---
That evening, Toba sat at his desk with a book open in front of him.
He had read the same paragraph three times.
His phone was beside his hand.
He picked it up.
Opened his messages.
Scrolled.
Stopped.
There was no message from Celeste.
There was no reason to expect one.
He put the phone down.
A few seconds later, he picked it up again.
Still nothing.
He sighed.
Then another thought entered his mind.
Amara.
He remembered her laughing earlier.
The way she had looked at him when he admitted he liked Celeste.
She hadn't teased him.
Not really.
She had simply listened.
Toba leaned back in his chair.
Why was he thinking about her?
He shook his head.
It didn't mean anything.
Amara was just different.
That was all.
Different from most people at Westvale.
She didn't care about his family.
She wasn't impressed by him.
And she certainly wasn't afraid of making fun of him.
His phone buzzed.
Toba looked down quickly.
A message from Nathan.
Nathan: Did you talk to Celeste?
Toba stared at it.
He typed a reply.
Toba: No.
Three dots appeared.
Nathan: Coward.
Toba laughed quietly.
He put the phone down.
Then, almost without thinking, he looked toward the window.
The university buildings were visible in the distance.
Somewhere over there was Amara.
He shook his head again.
He needed to stop thinking about her.
Tomorrow, he would talk to Celeste.
He would finally tell her how he felt.
At least, that was the plan.
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