Her Absolution

Chapter 23

Ashton Pov:

    Mom once told me that my heart already belong to someone. That even if I didn’t wanted it to be that person, it’s who my heart choose and that’s something I can’t control. The one thing we can’t control is who we fall in love with.

The past

    It was 7-year-old me running towards my house with my little feet’s. I was running to tell mom of what Asher and Autumn did, the mess they made and how Sarah’s mom discipline them.

“Mom.”

“Mom, where you are?”

    I can hear myself yelling at her from outside the house. I came running all the way from the Maverick’s. I see her coming outside the house with an apron, a towel in her hand, and wearing her green dress. It was when she was pregnant with Mason. For me it was incredible to know that my little brother was inside mom. 

“Yes Ash? Why you running my boy?”

    She was smiling at me. I didn’t knew where I step because next thing I know I fall down hard. Mom came to me as fast as she could with her tummy that big. I sit on the grass not crying or laughing nothing just a serious face, mad at myself for falling over, specially in front of mom.

    Mom sits on the grass beside me and sees that I’m ok. Then she starts laughing at me, I couldn’t help being even a little bit mad at her and I too started laughing. We both were sitting on the grass in front of our house laughing. Mom puts her arms around me, giving me a hug and then gives me a kiss on the cheek.

“You silly boy. Better be careful next time. Now why were you running and screaming for me?”

    Remembering what I wanted to tell her I smile at her. I know she likes my smile, she told me. 

“Oh, Asher and Autumn made a mess in their backyard. They made it fill with bubbles, mom. It was so funny and then Mrs. Rush scold them for what they did. Mom they are so cool. Autumn was incredible she was entirely wet from the bubbles but she just took the scolding from Mrs. Rush; she was so brave. Asher too but he was hiding behind Autumn. Her beautiful hair was straighter than usual because of the bubbles. And after the scolding she started running around the backyard playing with the bubbles, smiling. We were all playing with the bubbles. I played with Autumn throwing at her more bubbles. Asher played with Sarah."

“Ok, my boy. Slow down. Take deep breaths. The Maverick’s twins filled the backyard with bubbles?”

“Yes, mom.”

 “That’s awesome.”

    She gives me a beautiful smile as she started caressing my hair. The sun's light was really bright and it was a hot day but what I loved most at that time was her eyes. Her yellow eyes became more beautiful than they already were. 

“It was mom. I want to do that here. Can I invite them to play here. Please?”

“We are going to ask your father first, but I don’t think it will be a problem. But I don't know about the bubbles buddy, that would take to much work and cleaning. I'm sorry.” She gives me a sad smile.

“It's okay mom. But can they come? Can they? I can’t wait to play with Autumn here.”

“Like I said my boy, we have to ask your dad too." She gives me a stern look about asking dad. I know he'll say yes. "Only Autumn? Not Asher too?” I remembered shrugging my shoulders at her question. But I still answered her.

“Duh mom. But Autumn is far more cool than Asher, she likes to play a lot and it's always doing and inventing something new.” We started to get up from the grass. "Ok, my boy."

    We start to enter our home. Mom is probably cooking dinner. It smells delicious, mom is the best at everything.

“Oh boy. Someone is crushing hard.”

“What mom?” I look up at her, with a questioning look. What does she mean?

    She stops walking and turns to me and crutches down to my level as much as she can. Our eyes are looking at the others, mine are blue, mom’s are yellow like the sun.

“Sweetie can I tell you something? It’s something that may sound weird now but when the right time comes it will make perfect senses. I promise.”

“Ok, mom. Anything for you, you know I’m your special boy and my heart is yours.”

“That’s the thing my boy, your heart is no longer mine.”

“What? No, it is yours. Why would you say that mom?”

    Mom gives me a small smile, cleaning my face from my silent tears. I didn't even know I was crying. Why would mom said something like that?

“Because my special boy it already has an owner, and it can’t have two.”

“No it doesn’t. I choose who it belongs to and its yours, mom!” I cry a little more because of what she told me. I was getting angry, and she was just smiling at me.

“Ash we don’t choose who our heart belongs to. It’s something and the only thing we don’t have control over it.”

“I don’t understand mom.”

“You will Ash, when the time is right, you will.”

The present

    And indeed she was right. But how can this be? How can I already love Autumn? This is crazy. We only talk for like a week. Still, all that keeps coming to my mind is;

You're heart belongs to another. My heart owner's is Autumn. 

    For a long time I didn’t want to believe mom's words, so I never gave them to many thoughts until a year ago. And sometimes I thought it was a dream and not a memory. But the memory just kept coming back to me, not leaving my mind. Mom knew, she knew who it belong to. That's why she kept telling me after that day that even if I had a special place for her my heart belong to someone else. Mom was corny like that so, that is one of the reasons I never gave it meaning. How can this happen? I'm only a 17 year old guy, this is nuts.

    Autumn is looking at me and I at her, but it’s like I’m seeing her for the first time. The time where I saw a little girl with dark long hair running around playing with the butterflies in the park, with a big smile on her face.

    I put my hand above hers, the one that was pulling on my pants trying to catch my attention. How come it didn’t happen before? How come it never click before? That whenever I saw her mom’s words were playing on my mind. That whenever I thought of her and me together mom’s words appeared again on my mind. Why now? Why here? Was it something she's wearing? No, she's dressed as always. Was it a hair cut? Is it that she is angry or mad? 

“Ashton you okay? It seems something was bothering you.”

    That’s why, her kindness, her personality, her creativity, her heart that keeps seeing the beauty in the world, her love for her family, her worrying about someone, how selfless she can be sometimes more than being selfish. She should be more selfish, specially now, but she isn’t. It’s the way her eyes are looking at mine, how they are looking for a reaction from me. It's who she is, that makes me love her. Autumn is the different that any one I have ever meet. 

    It’s how she melts my walls, how she makes me be the little, carefree and happy, Ashton before he lost her mom. How she makes me see the world differently with a new filter. How sometimes just looking at her my problems seem to fade away, including the ones with dad. How even her presences makes me not want to retaliate against Megan. I promised Megan I would but ever since I found out Autumn was attending this school I haven’t done anything to land myself on the principals office.

    She makes me be a better person. I don’t want her to know the bad boy Ashton or the playboy. I haven’t been with a girl for a long time, not after my breakup with Megan. I change in the spam of a few weeks, for her. But in reality is her that makes me be a better version of me. This newfound thing makes me scare. That Autumn has my heart. 

    I'm in shock, how can that happened? It's like when Mason saw Ruby and fell in love at first sight. That happened to me too. But how come I never realize it or knew about it? Was it because I was younger than Mason at the time? Mason was a little freak out but he got over it in a few hours, accepting that he likes Ruby. Maybe there's something wrong with me. Maybe I need to get laid. 

    Yeah that's it. I need to sleep with someone, a girl. But it can be someone from here because of Megan. Practically everyone will tell her and I don't want her to know. ever since the break up she has been more clingy and thinks that we will get back together. Not going to happened. I maybe a play boy, womanizer, but I don't cheat on my girlfriend. 

    This all sounds ridiculous and hilarious. Thank God is all in my head and nobody can know or listen about this. I need to get laid and blow up some steem. I mean that's all. This is because I haven't slept with her and haven't got her out of my system. But I won't do that to her, she isn't like the others. Autumn it's vulnerable right now. I guess Kenneth's wish will come true, clubbing it is. 

Autumn’s Pov:

    Ashton is looking at me like I have grew a second head or something. Why is he looking at me so much? Do I have food on my face or between my teeth? I start touching my face with my hand, the free one. Since Ashton put his hand above mine, not letting go, but he is not hurting me, it’s more comfortable. I stop inspecting my face after realizing there is nothing there. He squeezes my hand, it makes me feel safe. It's been a while since he touch me.

    He still hasn’t answer my question. Now it looks like he is dumbfound. What is going through his mind? He stops looking at me since the teacher entered the classroom not letting go of my hand. I turn to look at him again and he is just looking straight ahead. I let it slide for now, but this is weird he is acting weird. I’ll ask him later about all of this.

    What is going through his mind? Is everything okay? Is this his new strategy to get me to have s*x with him? Is he trying something new to get me to be with him? What does he want? I'm totally lost. Sometimes he acts like he knows me and other times he evades me like I an the plague. I don't get him. Ashton and I need to talk again because I’m really confuse. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster and I don’t precisely like them.