Her Absolution

Chapter 20

“I’m sorry.”

    Those are the first words he said to me. He stands there with his arms by his side. Ashton is wearing a black t-shirt that hugs his body making it seem that his arms are going to pop out. He had jeans on and black tennis shoes. Looking as hot as ever. His blue eyes not meeting mine, he was ashamed. 

“For what? You didn't do anything to me.” My voice came out rough, anger and hurt lace in it. And I am hurt of how he treated me.

“For treating you like s**t and ignoring you this last weeks. You don’t deserve that. I'm just really angry and I don't want you to see me this way. I know you are not in the nicest place right now, Autumn. I'm also in a bad place.”

“So that's it? Just because you are angry right now doesn't mean that you get to give me the cold shoulder, like I've done something wrong to you. You know what Ashton let's leave it at that. You don't own me any explanation.” 

    That's a lie. Of course it hurts that he ignored me like that. But it makes me more sad that he treated me this way, like no one. I know we aren't anything, not even friends but I thought he was different with me. I thought I was the exception. It's foolish to think like that.

    He doesn't say anything. He just stares behind me, he isn't even looking me in the eyes. No eye contact. What's wrong with him? Now I know I didn't do anything. This is him, he is the one doing something wrong. I don't have to ask him the question that keeps popping in my mind, the one if I done something for him to treat me this way. He's the one that needs to get his s**t together. Just because he is dealing with some stuff that doesn't mean he can treat others badly. 

“I mean it. I am sorry. And what happened at the locker room it was a mistake.”

    Ashton is apologizing because of his behavior but his voice is cold and his face is emotionless. I can see his distancing himself. I guess the universe did hear me. He also thinks that what we did was a mistake, I knew it. So why does it makes me sad? this right now feels oddly familiar without the yelling and insults. I look at him with my head held high. I am not going to make him see me this way, vulnerable. 

“Fine.”

    I gave him the same cold hard look. He wants to be this way, two can play at this game. Bring it on, bad boy. And I was actually thinking of opening up to him. Biggest mistake ever. Thank the goddess I didn't, this is why I should have trusted my instinct and stayed away from him. I mean his a playboy for heaven's sake. I was just going to be one of his pretty little slut things.

I move further away from him “One more thing Ashton.” He looks at me for the first time. But my expression is hard and cold. 

“Yes?”

“Try to get along with Megan. No fights. For the sake of our grades.”

    He doesn’t say anything nodding at me. The bell rings informing us to go to our next class. The rest of the day goes with me feeling a void in my body. I really wish that tomorrow goes by fast and that they aren’t any kinds of problems. Sarah decided to ditch her last class and come with me back home and inviting herself to stay. She doesn’t need permission to sleep at home; mom will be happy to see her. She is so crashing the group gathering tomorrow.

“Mom we’re home.”

Silence. Complete silence. The hallway to the garage is dark, no lights on. Weird. If they went out mom or dad would have told me.

“Where is everybody? Ruby? Dad? You guys in here?”

“Maybe they went out?”

“With out telling me? I doubt it.”

“Boo.”

    Sarah and I scream. We see Ruby jumping out from behind one of the tables in the hallway where we are. The little sneak. She really scare us. This hallway even if it is day it creeps anyone out, it’s like in those scary movies since it doesn’t have windows and the only light comes from the bulbs.

“Aaaahhh. Ruby don’t do that specially in this hallway.” The little sneak is doubling over form her laughter. She's wearing her black leggins with a purple sweatshirt. “I'm going to tell mom.” I won't tell mom, I just want to play with her.

“But you do it to me all the time, Auty.”

    She gives me her innocent look, the one she gives when she did something wrong and is telling the opposite. That look definitely makes her get away from anything and I mean anything. One time she painted the grass with her color paints and she got away from it. Another time she destroy one of grandmas precious porcelain vases. And it was on purpose, many times she was told not to do those stuff and she still did.

“And you don’t like it and you run to mom and complain about it.”

I see movement from the other end of the hall getting close to Ruby. We get close to Ruby too and see it’s mom. She is wearing her white summer dress under the "best mom in the world" apron. 

“She scared you huh. She told us to stay quiet. Hey, Sarah. Staying for diner?”

    Mom gives Sarah and I a kiss on our cheeks and a hug. She looks me over. Typical mom. She always makes sure that we got home safe without a scratch on our bodies. Mom always did this since all her children were born. 

“She’s sleeping over. Tomorrow some people from school are coming over. That okay with you guys?”

"Sure precious. What class?" As we talk we move from the creepy hallway. I have never like it.

"AP History with Mrs. Walsh. She assigned the groups, and we have a presentation to do."

“Who are they honey?”

    Dad and his protectiveness, I see he is being more himself and letting go of gloomy. I can hear him screaming the question from the theater room, just a few doors down to the right. We head in that direction, mom going to the kitchen and Ruby following us. 

“You know Marcus and Camille, she is Jack’s granddaughter, Ashton and a fellow classmate Megan Clinton? Maybe you know her parents? Or know of them? Apparently they are rich, so.”

“Ashton huh?” He gives me a questioning face lifting his right eyebrow. 

“Mrs. Walsh assigned the groups. I had nothing to do with it, dad. Don’t give me that face.”

    Once he heard me he drops the protective dad face. That's one of the stares he likes to portrait in front of others and the cold one. It's been awhile since I seen it. 

“Megan Clinton you said? Yeah I know her dad, his nice but likes to brag a lot about everything of theirs. More so when his wife is with him at parties and events. Right honey?”

I don't know how he did it but he knew mom was coming this way and he had his back to the door. 

“Yeah I remember him, he tried to flirt with me when your dad and I started dating. Ja, never going to happen. And his face when he saw I was your father’s date, it was hilarious.”

Mom had a smile on her face from the memory. She went to dad and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

“True, I almost wanted to punch him.”

It almost feels normal again. And they look more them, the happy ecstatic parents. The ones who are always stuffing their faces in their children's life. 

“So precious at what time they're coming tomorrow?”

“At 12p.m. I know I have support group, but I’ll try not come back too late.”

The look on mom's face is a stern one or was it the one that says it's you're responsability? I don't know they are hard to figure out which one is which. But her answer is: “Sarah would be here; she can deal with them.” 

“No mama. She’s crashing here because she isn’t even in our group. She just wants to see if Megan and Ashton fight. Right?” I turn to her and give her my I know what you are up to look. She smiles and answers mom waving me off. 

“She’s right Sophia. I want to see what the ex it couple will do.”

“Oh god, teenagers. What are we going to do honey? Sarah call your mom; tell her she is invited for diner and that you are staying over.”

“On it.” Sarah goes and calls her mom. It's probably that Serena is at her bakery. 

“Amore mio, we were once like them. Nothing we can do as adults now, you know that. Let them be.”

    Dad goes back to paying attention to the screen but not before blowing her a kiss and give me a wink. Sarah is talking to her mom a little away from us. Mom went to the kitchen saying her food needs her, and little Ruby is on my lap playing with my hair. She likes to do every girls hair. Wait until Selene, Sarah’s sister, gets here. They love to braid each other’s hair. Selene is a year younger than Ruby, but that doesn’t matter they are good friends.

    Selene is a copy of Sarah, almost like a clone. People always are in awe whenever they see them together. It’s almost like Sarah gave birth to Selene and not her mom. Their mom is the best, she’s a little ball of fire. With one look you can feel the s***k she wants to give you in your ass when you misbehave. I used to be scared of that face when we were kids but it didn't matter Sarah and Asher still made me get in trouble with their pranks.

    Mom used to let her do most of the discipline to us because of her death glare when we do something wrong. That women is a warrior, her husband left her and their daughters when Selene was 3 years old. He left them for a pretty hoe fling. He stay with her, for a few years. He and the hoe never got children because after Selene's birth he got a vasectomy. A year ago he came back to try and repair his relationship with his daughter’s and apologize to his ex-wife, Serena. It was a rocky start, but the girls see him every once in a while. But they didn’t start to know each other until Asher’s death. I told Sarah to learn from the fire accident, that any day something can happen and if her dad die and they didn’t try to have a relationship that she will regret it for the rest of her life.

    I also made her see that Selene have every right to meet her dad. Apparently Selene didn't want to meet her dad if Sarah didn't come with her. He isn’t a bad person. He just made some mistakes, and he is here trying to fix them. Sarah also told me that he left the hoe, apparently she started to show her real identity and he didn’t like it and that he did not wanted someone as selfish, mean, and greedy in his children’s life. See? He made mistakes and he realize it. He came back to their lifes because he knew that he made the biggest mistake in his life, abandoning his family.

    Nobody is perfect. Some people may do things that hurt others, but them accepting what they did wrong is what makes them a better person. A lesser person would never admit their mistake. To proud to own up to it. That’s what I admire from Sarah’s father. That he came back and apologize and is trying to build a life with his children. Unlike someone I know. He doesn’t even have the guts to come here and apologize for the way he treated me. For the words he said to me. And the pain he gave me. But it's okay, I never want to see Ryan again.