Her Absolution

Chapter 2

Sarah, my best friend. She also lost him, he was her boyfriend, and he was my brother, my twin. Asher, his name was Asher, and he was my everything my other half.

            I answer the call knowing she was outside waiting for me to take us to school. I told her to come in and eat. Since the fire she hasn’t being eating much at breakfast, it was their thing. She is the best of friends; she never blame me for his death. For the first month I was in the hospital she didn’t came to visit me, I thought it was because she blame me for his death and when she came, she told me that it was too painful to see me. To see me there, in a hospital bed, because she didn’t want to lose me too.

            When she told me that it wasn’t my fault or that she didn’t blame me I started to cry for the first time. It was then that I let myself start to grief his death, my loss as a sister. We went to sleep hugging each other even when the nurse came at night to check on me, we didn’t separate and the nurse didn’t even tell her that visiting hours where over or kick her out, she let her there. I know it was out of pity, but it was the only time I didn’t mind it because Sarah was with me. After that she became my twin, and I became hers. We didn’t leave the other alone, when my parents or one of my siblings came to see me, she greet them, speak a little with them and then left for her house to take a bath and change clothes.

            She told me it was hard to see my parents because it reminded her of her and Asher. It was hard on her. Sometimes at night when I couldn’t sleep, I stay up watching her. How her long wavy auburn hair cover her face, covering her tears as she sleep, her cheeks were red, and her eyes were puffy from crying for Asher. And then the screams, that’s when I know her own nightmares came. See Sarah has nightmares like me, we were both there that day, the difference she did not know what has happening inside the school only I and the fire investigators know what really happen. Her nightmares are of Asher letting go of her after realizing that I was still inside the school. She screamed for him to not go, but even she knew that he will never let his little sister in there alone.

            She tells me that the nightmares change but they still end up the same, with Asher’s death. In some I die too, those are the ones that breaks her more, thinking and feeling that your boyfriend and best friend are dead. To feel that you will never see them again, and some part is true she will never see Asher again, but the false part is that I’m not dead, he made sure of it. A part of me knows that he keep me safe and alive for everyone else especially Sarah. For her to not be alone because he knew he was not going to make it.

Asher last words where I love you, never forget that.

I never have and never will. I told Sarah this, so she would know that in his last moments he was thinking of us.

            My brother gave his life for me, he was a true hero. But he did not have to die, if it wasn’t for that b***h that lock me in the janitor’s closet. That’s why I was not with the rest of the school outside. After Asher realize I must have been trap or lost, he let go of Sarah, left her crying on the floor, kiss her one last time and when running into the school looking for me. When he found me, I was a mess and so was he. I was coughing like crazy, and his left arm already had second degree burns. Something must have drop on his arm. He led me all the way to one of the exits, but the doors wouldn’t budge. I was getting dizzy, so he hold me in the waist with his right arm. He went in the direction of the library since it was under renovation and the fire hadn’t reach that part of the school.

            Once there, he let me to the other exit. It led to the football field and that’s when some of the shelves collapse on us, he push me to the floor and shield me from the fiery wooden sticks and books with his back. I could hear his screams and mine too, but I stop screaming only hearing he was in pain and in agony. When I didn’t feel his body putting pressure on me, I turn around and saw the library being consume by the fire and him sitting on the floor with his eyes close. The fire was getting close to us, but Asher was hurt, and he was double my weight. Even though I was tired and dizzy I knew I was not going to leave him there.

            I went to him and carefully took one of his arms caring him to the exit we were a few feet away, but I was weak and tired. We both knew that I could not carry us. I mean I was in school for more time than him. That’s when he told me “I love you, never forget that.” And with all the strength left he had; he push me towards the exit, a glass door. Making me stumble and going through it with no time to stop myself from getting a few scratches from the glass.

            When the door broke, the air that was outside came in, fueling the fire, hearing him scream. I wanted to go back inside do what he did for me, but a few fire fighters hold me back and then darkness consume my vision, I could still hear his scream calling for me and Sarah. Next thing I know I was waking up looking at the hospital ceiling with my mom by my side crying for both her children. Ruby in dad’s lap sleeping, dad looking out the window and Parker and Jen talking outside my hospital room on their phone. That day we woke up being 7 members in our family and that night only 6 members went to sleep.

            Life after that was hard. It still breaks my heart but it’s like mom said it’s time to face the world and move forward. I didn’t realize Sarah already entered my house to captivated in the flashbacks, but she was already eating, I am glad. We finish our food and say goodbye to the family me giving them kisses on the cheeks except Ruby one on her forehead. Tomorrow Parker and Jen will go back to their homes and lives. They came for this day because they knew it was going to be hard for me, starting a new year without Asher. I love them more for just being there. It also gives them a chance to realize he is not coming back.

            Sarah went in the direction she came when she enter our home. I went to the garage to start my car and stop walking. I saw his car; it was cover up, so it doesn’t get dusty. Jen told our parents to sell the car, but they didn’t have the heart to do it, not yet anyway. They ask Parker if he wanted it since it was his first, but he said no, it was Asher’s. So, we park it inside the garage and cover it up. I resume to walk to my car, a red jeep. Asher had the same car but his was black.

            At the beginning the red jeep was ours, Asher’s, and mine, but we would constantly fight over who was going to use it, it drove our family mad and crazy. Then Parker said that one of us can have his since he was moving to Chicago, so I let Asher take it. I got inside the car turn it on and open the garage door, Sarah was standing in the parkway. I didn’t want her to see his car, so I drove out of the garage and rapidly close its door. She climbed in and gave me a small smile thanking me for that.

            After that I drove to our new school, I let her put on music to calm us down. It was a new school year, in another school, without Asher, without his foolish happiness. Inside the car I watch Sarah as she look out the window. Sarah was wearing skinny black jeans, a red tight t-shirt that said in black letters everything is screw, a black jean jacket on, her black tennis and a low ponytail with a red hair band. I also realized that she was wearing her silver bracelet, the one Asher gave her, it said yours. It was a Christmas present, also the last one to her from him.

    Asher used to always tell everyone that he was Sarah’s even to all the girls that throw themselves at him, even to those that try to flirt or seduce him into leaving her. It never work, he was so in love with her since we were 5 years old. Then a decade later he had the courage to risk our friendship, she accepted him. I never minded their love or their relationship since I knew that they love each other. They were just afraid to ruin our relationship, our friendship.

    I’m still glad that we have each other, I really do not know how I would have survived this without Sarah. Right now, in my life she was my rock, and I was hers. We are not the only one’s mourning, our whole town is, my brother was the golden boy not because he won games for our school and town.

    It was because he was kind, he genuinely help others, he volunteer at the shelters, at the hospital, he played with the kids, he was happy, always polite and doing good, setting an example to others. I’m not saying he was perfect but close. Asher had his flaws like pranking his siblings, fighting with mom and dad about college, complaining to the teachers that he did not want to tutor that week, sometimes skipping classes, or getting in trouble for a prank. He had flaws like everyone, but he did not do drugs, he wasn’t an alcoholic, he was just a good person, those rare guys that you have to look under a magnifying glass.

    Our parents raise us to be good people, to never feel superior to others or to treat them lower than us. Mom more, especially her sons since she knows how boys are growing up to be. Still her teaching does not stop with us, her family, it goes to her students. Mom is a college art professor and those same manners that were taught to us she teach it to her college students if they are irresponsible and immature. It’s her way of fixing the world we live in or at least to make it a little bit better.

    The drive to Crestfall High was a little long but with me thinking a lot it felt short. I did not want to go to another town to go to school, or go to another school, heck even go to school. But I can’t keep living in my house. I must see the rest of humanity, socialize not rapidly just slow, taking my time. Sarah also needs this to live and move forward. I know it’s what Asher wanted from us, from everyone.

    I pull up to Crestfall High and find a parking in the middle of the lot but it’s better than not finding one. I put the car on parking and look at Sarah, she was watching everyone pass in front of my car, she was nervous. She looks at me and we smile at each other, I move my right hand to her left one and give it a squeeze to reassure her I’m here. I turn the car off and we climb out of the car all eyes on us, some students we know from Blue Ride others because they are from Crestfall. I smile to the Blue Ride students and move to Sarah to hold again her left hand with my right one.

    Sarah and I make our way to the entrance where Marcus was waiting for us. When he saw us, he ran up to us and hug us. I could not breath, it was a death hug, and told him to let me go. Marcus is 5’9” tall with broad shoulders, icy blue eyes, brown curly hair, and tan skin. He was wearing jeans, white t-shirt, white tennis shoes and a black baseball cap. He is way taller than me and Sarah. I am 5’3” and Sarah is 5’2”. Asher was tall but not like Marcus, he was 5’7”. Despite their height difference Sarah and Asher fit perfectly, like they were mold to fit together.

    Marcus was a friend of Asher, ever since he transfer in middle school he follows us everywhere, it was kind of annoying but my brother, the kind person he was, became his friend and he later became me and Sarah’s. It was just the four of us, you may be thinking that I would end up with him or that he will fall in love with me, that it’s a lie and the biggest cliché. The thing is it’s never going to happen I only see him as a friend, and he only see me as a friend. Beside I am not exactly his type. Marcus is bisexual this gives me less opportunity for him to like me. Also, because Marcus likes his girls with blonde or brown hair and tall.

    Although he is handsome and sexy, I know I don’t like him that way I’ll always see him as a friend, heck sometimes I see him as a brother. When Marcus finally let us go, he look at us. It was his way of making sure if we were okay and if we were ready for this. But also asking us with his icy blue eyes if we wanted to go in or just skip class. When I look at Sarah, I knew she was going to skip so I got hold of their hands and drag them inside heading to the administration office. I am not letting her go and shut herself off, we don’t need that anymore.