The Alliance Boxset Books 4-6

Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

“Saber?” Taylor called out groggily the next morning.

She reached out her hand to touch Saber’s side of the bed. Rolling to her side, she ran her hand over his pillow, a smile curving her lips. He had been –incredible. It was the only word that she could think of to describe their night together.

Sitting up, she looked around the room. She grinned at the tenderness that she felt. It was just added proof that last night hadn’t been a dream.

“Or rather, another hopeful one,” she muttered as she slid out of the bed. “It was a wonderful dream come true.”

She walked around the bed and stepped into the bathroom. Taking a quick shower, she wrapped a thick towel around her before stepping out of the room to retrieve the fresh change of clothes that she had brought with her. Spying her backpack, she picked it up and set it on the couch.

She pulled out a dark green pullover, jeans, panties, and the bra that she hadn’t bothered to wear last night. Glancing up, she saw Saber out in the garden. Sweat glistened on his body. He was only wearing a pair of long, jogging pants. He was moving in the familiar pattern she saw him, Hunter, and the other warriors doing during their training.

His arms moved in a beautiful, fluid motion. He had built up his upper muscle strength since his injury. The year he had been confined to a wheelchair was probably the reason. He held a long pole in his left hand and was twirling it above his head. Her hand flew to her mouth to keep the cry from escaping when she saw him turn. His bad leg gave out on him, causing him to stumble. The only thing that kept him from falling was the pole in his hand.

She saw his hand tighten on it until his knuckles shone white with his frustration. After a few moments, he straightened and tried the move again. Each time, his leg gave out on him, causing him to stumble. Her heart skipped with each move.

Tears glistened in her eyes when he tried a different move. He staggered, this time unable to catch himself. He twisted as he fell, landing on the ground where he lay staring up at the early morning sky.

Taylor dropped the clothes in her hand and walked slowly through the opened doors. Padding on bare feet, he didn’t hear her until she was just a few feet away from him. His head turned and their eyes locked. His were filled with anger, frustration and… regret. She knew hers were filled with tears. She hurt for him, with him.

He rolled, grabbing the pole. She watched as he struggled to his feet. Something warned her not to help. Perhaps it was the rigidness in his shoulders or the tension in the air, but either way, it told her that he wasn’t in a good place right now.

She waited patiently for him to straighten. Swallowing, panic began to build inside her when he wouldn’t look at her. Taking a step closer to him, she hesitated when he jerked backwards, stumbling again.

“Don’t,” she whispered, reaching her hand out to him. “Don’t, Saber. Please… Don’t shut me out.”

Saber turned to look at her then. Taylor shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes before spilling down her cheeks. The distant look in his eyes and the silence told her what he was doing. He wasn’t just closing her out… He was letting her go.

“No,” she sobbed, her hand clenching and falling to her side. “You love me. I know you do. I’m your Amate. I belong to you. Last night….”

“Stop!” His sharp order ricocheted through her.

Taylor shook her head. “You love me,” she insisted.

“I need you to leave,” he said, looking away from her for a moment before he turned back to gaze down at her with blazing eyes filled with pain. “I want you to leave, and not come back this time, Taylor.”

“NO!” she cried in frustration, stepping toward him. “I belong to you! You are mine! You are my Amate. I claimed you last night,” she insisted, stepping up in front of him and dropping the towel. “I gave myself to you, Saber. I gave you more than my body. I gave you my heart,” she whispered, tilting her head to look up at him with desperate eyes.

His hand rose. For a moment, she thought he would admit that he was wrong, but instead, his fingers wrapped around her wrist and he lifted it between them. He shook his head as he stared down at her. Her lips trembled at the harsh coldness that clouded his eyes.

“You do not wear my claim upon your wrist, just as I do not wear yours,” he said, releasing her wrist as if the touch of her skin burned him. “And we never will.”

Taylor watched in disbelief as he awkwardly bent down and picked up the towel that she had dropped. He carefully wrapped it around her, before using the pole to step back. She turned her gaze away from him when he looked back at her with a blank expression.

“Tell me,” she whispered, looking back at him once again. "Tell me that you don’t love me, Saber. Tell me that you don’t love me and that you want me to leave and not come back, but look me in the eye when you say it.”

Taylor braced herself for the wave of pain that she knew was about to hit her. He was going to do it. She could see the resignation in his eyes. He was going to let her go, whether she wanted to go or not.

“I don’t love you, Taylor. I want you to leave and not come back,” Saber said in a quiet voice, never breaking eye contact with her.

The pain was worse than she ever imagined it could be. It felt as if someone was ripping her heart out of her chest. Swallowing, she tilted her head, but didn’t scream.

“You’re a terrible liar, Saber,” Taylor whispered, staring back at him before she lowered her head, letting her hair fall forward to conceal the fresh tears running down her face. “I’ll leave, but there is something you need to know,” she said, looking up again. “I love you. I have from the moment I met you. I’m going to go away for a while. There is an aid mission that I was asked to go on. I wasn’t going to go because….” She paused, clamping her lips together to get control of her composure before continuing. “I’m giving you three months to think over whether you really want me out of your life. When I return, I’ll come by one last time. If you want me, place a yellow ribbon on the tree in the front courtyard. If I don’t see it, you’ll never see me again. I won’t chase you, Saber. I love you for you, not your body. I love the man inside, but I need him to love me, too.”

Turning on her heel, she walked back into the house. Dropping the towel, she pulled on her shirt and pants and slipped on her shoes. Grabbing her bra and panties, she stuffed them back into her backpack. Picking it up, she walked out of the house without a backwards glance. She didn’t want him to see the utter grief that was tearing her apart.

Saber watched as Taylor walked back into the house. From where he was standing, he could see her getting dressed. His fingers gripped the pole in his hands until he felt sure that it would crumble under the pressure of his grasp.

His eyes burned when she turned and walked out of the house without a backwards look. Shaking, he heard the sound of her transport as it started. A moment later, it flew over his house, heading back in the direction of Hunter and Jesse’s house. It was only when she was out of sight that he gave in to the grief. A loud gasp escaped him as he sank back down to the ground. The pole clattered against the tile and he leaned forward, rocking as pain exploded through him.

Sitting back, he tilted his head back and roared in rage. His body shook with the force of his pain. It was far worse than what the doctors had told him yesterday.

“You are lucky to still have your leg,” the surgeon had told him. “There is nothing else we can do. The damage was too great even for the bone regenerator to repair. The nerve damage is irreversible. I had to remove almost an inch of fragmented bone during this last surgery. Your body is rejecting the bone graft that was done. I’ve injected a new anti-rejection agent in the hopes that we can still save it. If the graft holds long enough for the new bone to have a chance to fuse, then you should be fine. If this doesn’t work, it will be necessary to amputate your leg.”

Saber’s eyes burned as he looked up at the sky. In his mind’s eye, all he could see was Taylor’s beautiful face as he made love to her. He didn’t know how it was possible for a male to survive such agony. For the first time in his life, he understood the bond between a Trivator and his Amate.

“Goddess, help me,” he whispered. “I love her so much. Help me.”