Too Late To Love Me, Alpha Theon

4.

Theon's POV

The moment I stepped into Cora's room, her eyes lifted to me and a thin smile touched on her lips.

She looked impossibly small beneath the blankets. Her hair spilled loosely around her shoulders, her face drained of color and there were tear tracks still visible on her cheeks.

She looked fragile, broken, exhausted... And for a moment the doubts I had carried down the corridor felt almost cruel.

The last time I saw her look this way was when Eren died.

"Theon." Her voice was barely above a whisper. The name struck me. It was the first time she had called me that in years.

Since I became Alpha, she had always addressed me formally as Alpha— never Theon.

I closed the door behind me. "Cora. I was told you couldn't sleep."

"I can't." Her voice cracked.

I moved toward the bed, then stopped. There was a time when I wouldn't have thought twice before sitting beside her.

Tonight, I pulled the chair from the corner instead.

Cora's eyes followed me as I sat.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

She gave a faint, bitter smile. "How do you think I feel?"

I had no answer.

Her hand moved beneath the blanket and settled over her stomach.

"My child is gone, Theon."

The words were barely audible, yet they hit me hard with guilt. I had seen death before. I had fought in wars, I had watched wolves die in battlefields, and I had even stood beside my brother when he drew his final breath. But this was different. The child never even got the chance to draw a breath.

"I'm sorry, Cora."

Tears filled her eyes at once. "You know what hurts the most?" Her voice trembled, tears falling from her eyes. "That child was the only thing I had left of Eren."

My chest twisted painfully, but I didn't know what to say to her. I wasn't the best at offering comfort. I had never been faced with a situation like this before.

Cora wiped her eyes, her throat working as she swallowed.

"I'm sorry I called you. But you're the only one I can trust now."

"You don't have to apologize."

"I know you have other things to deal with." Her eyes lifted to me. "The council, the pack... Selene."

There was something in the way she said Selene's name. It wasn't anger, it was fear. Or at least, it looked like fear. It seemed like she was scared of even saying her name out loud.

"You should be resting," I said.

"I tried," she whispered, her fingers tighten around the blanket. "But everytime I close my eyes, I'm back there."

"At the cliff?"

Cora nodded. "I had never been so scared, Theon."

I leaned closer to her. "What did you remember?"

"I remember her standing in front of me. I remember the look in her eyes, and the words she said before she pulled me over the edge with her..."

Her voice trailed off as her lips quivered in fear.

I gave her a moment then asked. "What did she say?"

Cora opened her mouth, then stopped as a sob tore from her throat.

"I...I can't."

"Cora—

"I know what you're thinking," she said, looking at me with teary eyes. "That maybe I was mistaken."

Cora looked devastated, but there was something else beneath it. Something I couldn't quite identify.

"I know what happened, Theon," she said, drawing in a shaky breath. "I know it's hard to believe but...she pushed me.

Everything happened so fast— one moment we were having an argument and the next, she was pulling me over the edge. I tried to stop her, I told her it was dangerous and begged her to let me go but she wouldn't listen..." Cora broke into another sob.

I grabbed a tissue and held it out to her. As she wiped her eyes, I stared at her.

Truly, Cora had no reason, as far as I could see, to invent an accusation like this. She had lost the one thing that was most precious to her.

And yet... Selene didn't fit the image she was painting.

Not the Selene I knew.

"You're conflicted," Cora said. "I know she's your mate, Theon. It's okay if you don't believe me." Her voice softened. "Maybe my loss is making me crazy. Maybe I killed my own child."

"No, it's not that," I said immediately, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You're not crazy, Cora."

"So, you believe me?"

"I...I don't know what to believe."

Her expression fell. "I know Selene and I never got along. But do you really think I would lie about my own child?"

"No."

"Then what is it, Theon?"

I rubbed a hand over my temple, shaking my head. "I don't know."

That admission seemed to hurt her more. She turned her face away.

"I should have expected this," she said, her lips curling into a bitter smile. "You always hesitate when it comes to me "

Something in my chest shifted.

Cora looked toward the window.

"You did it back then too."

Subconsciously, I froze. I knew exactly what she meant.

There were some memories that didn't need to be named.

But neither of us had spoken about that day in years.

Not since the moment she rejected me and chose my brother.

I should have left it alone. Afterall, it didn't matter anymore but instead, I heard myself ask.

"You told me never to speak of it. You chose Eren."

"Did you ever ask why?" She asked. "My feelings never truly mattered to you. Maybe this is my punishment for what I did to you. But I suffered that day too, Theon. The matebond—"

"Stop," I said, my tone tightening.

For a second, I was no longer sitting in her room. I was younger again, standing before the woman the moon goddess had chosen for me, and listening to her tell me she wanted someone else. My brother, Eren.

I remembered the humiliation, the anger, my helplessness... The way the bond had torn through me when she rejected me.

I pushed the memory away at once. "That was a long time ago. None of it matters now."

"You're right," Cora mumbled. She looked down, a hint of grief on her face.

"You should leave now. I'm sure you have more important things to deal with."

"You need to rest," I said, rising to my feet.

She stared at me for a moment before nodding with a tired smile. "I will."

I started for the door. Just as my hand reached the handle, her voice stopped me.

"Theon..."

The name struck me again, stirring a familiar yet strange feeling in my chest. It felt wrong.

I looked back. "Yes?"

"Goodnight," she said.

I studied her for a moment. "Goodnight, Lady Cora."

Then I stepped into the corridor, the door closing behind me.

Her handmaiden stood waiting outside.

"Keep an eye on her," I ordered.

"Yes, Alpha."

As I strode down the hall to my chambers, Cora's words echoed in my head.

'You always hesitate when it comes to me... Maybe this is my punishment for what I did to you.'

And for the first time that night, I wondered if my hesitation had nothing to do with knowing Selene.

Maybe Cora was right.

Maybe some part of me was still carrying the wound she had left all those years ago.

Years I had convinced myself no longer mattered.

And maybe I had been judging through that old, pent-up anger.