The Pack and The Ruffian

Back in Time

An evolved Amber.

After Amber spoke to Dom and settled things between Simile and Emily, she decided to find Jake and bring him back to Silver Moon. As soon as she was out of their sight, she called on her Lycan. She had no idea how it would react, or if it could even trace Jake’s scent. But she had to try. How was she going to convince Sam to go home without her? She’d worry about that when the time came. Fully shifted, she stood on her hind legs and tried to find the middle ground between her mind and her Lycan’s. She needed to merge them, needed to get comfortable with what she was. She’d use the time it would take to find Jake to do it. She could feel the wolf fighting the vampire. And the vampire fight the wolf. She needed them to merge, all of them. The fae genes seemed to be dormant and trying to stay out of the other’s way. Amber shook her wolf-like head, spit flew as she growled. She could smell Jake, knew his direction and how fast he was moving. She’d catch up to him within the hour. Her vampire side pressed her to let go, run. Her wolf wanted to stalk, tease. She wanted to get home. Her body suddenly felt like it was being ripped into two pieces. She screamed inside her head. Her claw-like hands grabbed at her aching head and she let out a howl. She threw her body to the ground and pulled her legs up to her chest. Amber knew she was in trouble. If anyone found her now, she’d be a sitting duck. She tried to push the two fighting beings down, to shift back to her human form, but they were strong and suppressed her will. Panic flooded her, the pain was like a living thing in her veins, and she groaned, moaned, roared. A sudden, eerie peace filled her. It was so sudden. She almost didn't recognise what had happened. The pain stopped, the vampire and wolf side calmed, and she felt control handed back to her. Instead of letting the panic overcome her and shifting, she shifted her Lycan body to sit against a tree and took stock of her mind.

“They fight because you are afraid to let them be one. Let us be one.”

Amber snapped her head from side to side, her teeth bared in a warning.

“There’s no threat. I’m Loki.” The calm, female voice said. It reverberated in her mind, and Amber’s mind cleared enough for her to realize the sound was coming from inside her. “I’m the fae part of your merged state.” She let out a small laugh. “Or should I say the unmerged state?”

“What are you talking about? Why are you talking?” Amber tried to reach for Sam but couldn’t sense her. “Where’s my mate?”

“Your mind is too full. You’re trying to carry us and her. It’s too much for you.” She sensed Loki shrug. “When you accept us and let us fully merge. You will have more control. A better sense of what you can do and powers beyond your imagination.”

Amber dropped her huge head against the tree and closed her eyes. “I’m afraid of what I will become.” She admitted. “I don’t know if I can control it if I let them become one, let you all become one.”

“I can help.”

“How are you even talking to me?” Amber asked.

“I’m not like them, see, they are… How to explain?” Loki sighed. “I guess the best way is, that they are alive, obviously, but they don’t have the ability to communicate with their words. You’ll know what they feel and what they want you to know, but they can’t talk like us.”

“Won’t you lose that if I allow the merging?” Amber asked, her curiosity peaked at the voice in her head. Loki. “Are you a separate being?”

“Well, they call you Lycan, because of the way you look. But Lycan is sort of a combination of vampire and wolf. You have me, fae, too. So, you are more than just Lycan. You are something new. And no, I won’t lose it.”

“Great, so there’s no way to know what I’ll be, how I’ll be when the merge happens. And why have you only spoken up now?”

“You were being torn apart. Because you fight it so hard. You will die if you keep fighting it. I thought, at first, I could let you come to terms with it, let you merge when you’re ready. But the longer you wait, the closer you are to overload.”

“How long?” Amber pushed herself to her feet and hit her head against a branch. Her claw shot out and ripped it off the tree and threw it. A growl vibrated through her.

“Not long,” Loki admitted. “You’ve suppressed us, especially them, for so long. If you don’t do it soon, you’ll die.”

“How do I do it?” Amber straightened her shoulders, resolved on letting what she feared happen.

“Don’t fight them. Let them merge. I’ll help with the pain and discomfort. And I’ll be there when it is done. It’ll be different, you’ll sense us as a combined essence, but I’ll be there.”

“Fine.” Amber, spread her legs, rolled her head, and forced her body to relax. She felt the vampire and wolf rise, felt them draw closer to each other. When the first tendril connected between them, she fought the wave of nausea and forced herself to stay on her feet. By the third, she was panting, her whole body a ball of fire. Through it all, she felt Loki, felt her calmness, and knew that the wolf and vampire felt her too. She fell to her knees as they buckled.

“It’s time,” Loki whispered. “Trust us and trust yourself.”

Amber let out a howl as the pain reached a crescendo and she fell forward and dug her claws into the dirt. Her last thought was that she was going to die and never see Sam or Addi again as darkness descended on her mind.

“Amber.” The voice sounded like it was coming to her through a tunnel. Amber forced her eyes open. Blinked. She was on her feet, crouched, one hand braced on the ground as her head whipped from side to side. “Amber, relax. You’re okay.”

“Loki?” Amber thought, her head c****d from side to side as she adjusted to the newness inside her.

“No, not exactly. You did it.” The voice sounded like Loki, almost. But it was deeper, more a rumble in her head now. “We are one. How do you feel?”

Amber considered the question. She felt stronger somehow. Even stronger than before. She looked at her claws, expecting the same brown fur as before when she was Lycan. What she saw was silver fur. She was still huge, her claws sharp and still shaped like a hand, just bigger. She looked down at her belly, and jumped back, landing quietly on her feet. As she looked down at herself, she tilted her head and grinned. “I’m a silver wolf.”

“Not a wolf,” Loki said. “You are what fae elders call a Tribrid.”

Amber flexed her legs and arms, tried to walk forward, and had to throw her hand out to stop herself from crashing headfirst into a tree. “What the hell?!”

Loki chuckled. “You are more than just a wolf now. All the qualities that both the vampire and wolf have are now yours. Including the healing. Although you probably won’t even have time to register the injury before it heals. And of course, fae.” She felt a frown form in Loki’s mind. “I’m not sure what you get from us. Magic, of course. But also, we have many different species. It’s going to be fun finding out precisely what you gained.”

“Oh, I hoped that the surprises were over now.” Amber stepped back carefully. And was thrilled when she didn’t end up on her ass. “Let’s try running again. We have a wolf to catch.” She took a tentative step, then another, and another. The trees flew past her as she moved and felt her body adjust to the new power pulsing through her. She stumbled when Sam’s panicked voice was in her mind suddenly. “Sam?”

“Where the f**k have you been?!”

“I’ll explain as soon as I’m home. I’m on Jake's trail, and I’m bringing him home. Take care of Mya and Jane and I’ll see you soon. I love you!”

“You’ll damned well explain now! I thought you were dead! Hurt!”

“I’m fine, baby, I promise.” Amber opened herself to Sam. “Feel me.”

“I do,” Sam grumbled. “Just stop screwing around. Leave Jake and come here.”

“No, I’m right behind him. Go home, love. I’ll see you there. We have so much to talk about.”

“I left you an hour ago. How much could you possibly have done in that time?” Sam was still distressed.

“So much, baby, so much.” Amber sped up again as she felt comfortable again. “I promise I’m fine. Trust me.”

“I do.” Sam sighed. “Fine. Just be there by the time I get home.”

“I will.” Amber grinned. Her elongated canine teeth gleamed. “With a weasel in tow.”