Challenge the Alpha

Chapter twelve - Blame On Both Sides

Rollo;

I was beyond livid. I had never been so furious in my life. And the worst part ? Ezekiel didn't even seem to be aware he'd done anything wrong. He sat across from me, looking bored. Indie had asked if she should leave and I'd told her to sit. I wish I hadn't, she was closer to him than me now and knowing he'd seen her, seen what is mine.

Marcus hovered by Indie, ready to pull her out at a moments notice. He knew today was not the day for Zek to f**k with me.

"Why did you come you the packhouse earlier today, Ezekiel?" I glared at him, my voice hard and quiet.

He scoffed and stared at Indie, at my mate,

"You mean she didn't tell you?" He quizzed, "Why am I even here if your new toy didn't go running to Alpha?"

Clay forced forwarded and flipped the desk to the right with one arm. Marcus had acted quickly and had a hold of my girl, while I had Zek pinner to a wall by his throat. His feet weren't even touching the floor.

"You don't get to look at her," I warned, "and if you ever call her anything like that again, I will cut your tongue out."

Clay wasn't done with this asshole. He wanted his head away from his body now. But that isn't how a fair leader works. I dropped Zek. And gestured for him to take a seat.

"You never even introduced yourself, did you, Zek? I'd guess thinking it would prevent Indie telling me you walked in on her naked. Reggie saw you leave, from the direction of my private quarters and asked why."

Zek tutted and frowned. I was right. He'd made some minor effort to stop me finding out about his visit.

"f*****g humans shouldn't be allowed to wonder through the packhouse freely. It's not their home."

"Reggie is a part of this pack." My Alpha aura came away from me with great force and Zeks head drooped in response. He came from an old fashioned wolf family who preferred us away from humans. They only saw a use in those destined to mate a wolf because it would produce the best pups but they didn't see a need to keep them around beyond that.

"Why did you come to see Indie?" It was an Alpha command this time, there would be no way to avoid answering me and it would be the truth.

"I wanted to see what the fuss was about," Zek, confessed, "the Elders are right to say you've been distracted. I was curious why you'd drop a perfectly adequate wolf to take in a new pet."

'Take Indie to her room, ask Kimberley or Reggie to stay with her then come back here. Potentially to remove a body.' I mindlinked Marcus and he jumped straight into action.

Indie looked between him and me as he led her out and yanked the door shut behind him. I heard her fragile voice ask what was going on and him just tell her not to worry as they disappeared down the hallway.

I took a steadying breath and closed my eyes. I knew Zek had an outdated way of thinking, for the smartest battle planner I'd ever known, he was dumb as he'll sometimes. Maybe the lack of emotion and attachment is why he was so good with his strategys, he was ruthless because he genuinely didn't care about anyone or anything past the idea of the pack. I didn't bring him in myself. He had served the old Alpha and I wondered if some of the grotesque activities they had previously engaged in were some of his or his families ideas. No. Zek was quick to join my side and aid me in the battle, he had been loyal since.

"I'm going to tell you something I revealed to the Elders today but I need you to keep it between us for now," I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, Clay hated me for it, "Indie is my mate. But I haven't told her yet. She needs more time to adjust and grieve first."

I watched Ezekiels face as he processed this new information. A hint of genuine remorse glinting in his eyes. Even with his backward ideas of humans, if the moon goddess blessed the pack with one for a Luna, they would be respected.

"She's your mate? Alpha, please," he dropped from the chair to his knees, "I'm so sorry. It's barely heard of for an Alpha to mate a human, you have to believe I had no ...I never would have said ..I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

I held up a hand to stop his blubbering. I had never seen Zek this way. I wasn't sure if it was out of actual regret for his actions or because he thought I'd end him if he didn't. I wasn't confident enough to bet on either but it showed acknowledgement of his place at least.

"If you ever barge in on her unclothed again, Zek," my voice low, barely a whisper but I could tell by the way his eyes widened and he gulped, it was enough to spark a real fear in his heart, "I will take the pelt from your body and use you for a rug."

He nodded, for once in his life, he wasn't looking as if everything going on was nothing to do with him or imagining he was elsewhere. He was in this room, practically pissing himself.

"Now." I walked over and grabbed my chair, pulling it closer to him sitting inches away, "we need to talk witch defense."

Indie;

My head was a mess. I was sick of this hot, cold relationship with Rollo. One second he's so into me and the sweetest most caring, comforting ...and the next, he's yelling and throwing things and I can't handle the rollercoaster. I had wept none stop since Marcus brought me to my room. Kim had popped in, bringing me a mobile as Rollo had promised. I hadn't even taken it out the box. I had to ask her to leave about seven times between my crying before she gave in and let me be, making me swear if I need her, I'll just stick my head out the door and yell so she can hear to come running. Yeah right, I know someone else who would hear that and I don't wanna see him.

Reggie had come up before he left for the night, he had lingered much less. Dropping me in a slice of cake and saying he'll be around tomorrow if I decide I want to talk about any of it or even just ignore each other and bake some biscuits we won't share with anyone out of spite. That had got a little chuckle from me and he was happy enough that I'd smiled.

"You sure are a strong girl and I haven't a doubt you'll give that mean Alpha what for." He'd said as he left.

I couldn't explain the ache all over my body. I was just exhausted, physically, emotionally. I wanted to curl up and sleep for a hundred years. Or just never wake up at all. There was a darkness settling in my chest. A battle I'd been fighting too long and I was nearing surrender.

I dragged my feet to the enormous bathtub and decided to soak away all my troubles in bubbles.

Running the bath a little too hot, I went to grab a fresh, oversized, mega soft towel from the wardrobe while the tub filled. I striped off and climbed in, humming at the slight pain mixed with pleasure from settling into the burning water.

I closed my eyes and leant my head back. Enjoying the sting across my skin with every movement. The bubble bath mix smelt heavenly. Honeysuckle and lemon or something like that. And, as promised on the bottle, I did start to feel my muscles relax and loosen and all my troubles drift away.

I lost track of time, still not having access to a clock because I refused to use the phone sent by Rollo, but my fingers and toes had pruned and the water temp had dropped drastically at the point I decided to climb out and head to bed.

I had tied my hair up but some at the nape of my neck was still damp, as I was ruffling it with a towel there was a knock on the door. I froze. After today, that literally could have been anyone from the pack just letting themselves in for all I knew. I hesitated and before I could ask who it was, Kimberley had announced herself.

"Sorry, Indie, I know it's late and you wanted to be alone but Marcus said him and Rollo are probably still going to be a while yet and well.. Rollo tried texting you a few times and not had a reply, he's getting a bit aggy at the boys."

"I haven't looked at the phone. And texts from him isn't much incentive for me right now." I was being stubborn, I didn't care. I didn't have to put up with another controlling and abusive partner.

"I know it sounds like we're all just making excuses for his behaviour," she pleaded through the door, "but there is really more to this wolf/Alpha thing than you're aware of. It doesn't make any of it right but I hope you can understand."

I opened the door, with my towel wrapped around me and strolled straight past her to the wardrobe.

"Let me guess," I called while flitting through the drawers to find cosy PJs, "It's because he cares about me he's being like this?"

I looked round the doorframe to see Kimberley with her brows pulled together in a deep frown,

"I've heard it before, Kim. It's every abusers go to."

"I know, and I won't act like a relationship with an Alpha doesn't hold similarities to that type of situation. It does. It definitely does." She went to sit on the edge of the bed, "wolves in general are possessive and jealous, Alphas have to think about their whole pack too. One slip up and people could die because of their bad judgement or their mistake. And then you have the ones in the pack out to make them look bad or want them gone."

"I really don't think.."

"No, Indie, you do think, you're smart and you think a lot but you're wrong about this. Rollo would literally die for you. But he would also die to protect his pack. He doesn't trust anyone because he can't allow himself to, so when he has cause for concern over his third in command, he will react accordingly."

Before I could say anything she stood up and went to storm out but turned at the last moment,

"And you know what too? There is a reason me and Marcus don't have any secrets, you shouldn’t have lied to him in the first place." And with that she was down the hall, the door slamming behind her.

I blinked back tears. Kimberley was one of the last people I would have expected to yell at me like that. I suddenly felt very alone. Trapped between a rock and a hard place. I had no one I could really depend on, that would see my side and support me or tell me I'm better than the s**t he puts me through.

I dragged my feet back to the wardrobe. I grabbed the first oversized tshirt I could, knowing it would be his but I didn't care. I had no one, I needed comfort and the closest I had was that stupid big dogs top.

I began doubting everything I knew. Was this just all my fault? Should I have just accepted and agreed to everything laid out by Rollo, be the perfect little submissive partner he wants? No. You know what, if that's what he really wants. He can call Josie.

I spotted the box to the phone by the bed and tried to ignore it. I'd done so well to not give in, but I hadn't actually been able to stop thinking about him.

I let out a disgruntled huff, "damn it, Indie." I muttered to myself as I finally caved and took out the Samsung. I assumed since the box wasn't sealed and I'd apparently been receiving texts, then everything probably already set up for me and I could just turn it on.

It booted to life, 11.34pm. Jesus Christ, how was it so late already. I was trying to guesstimate just how long I spent in the bath when the messages started rolling in. Ping after ping after ping. They were actually coming through quicker than I could read them initially. And every single one was from Rollo.

7.52pm Rollo : I'm so sorry for tonight, I promise if you let me explain properly, I will tell you everything.

8.19pm Rollo : can you just let me know you're okay?

8.37pm Rollo : please, Indie ?

8.39pm Rollo : you can stay mad at me, just let me know you're alright ????

9.24pm Rollo : you're driving me crazy Princess

10.29pm Rollo : not responding to my texts is going to be another rule if you keep this up

10.42pm Rollo : it looks like I'm going to be here most the night. Are you still up?

10.50pm Rollo : :( :(

10.52pm Rollo : I'm no good at this Indie

11.01pm Rollo : let me take you for breakfast tomorrow and make today up to you?

He really thought he could fix all this with a breakfast date? I scoffed and threw the phone down the other side of the bed and snuggled the duvet around me, turning my back on it. As much as I tried to block him out, I inhaled his scent around me. From his top I wore, from the bed he could have f****d me in earlier had he not had to leave. He was under my skin already.

I pushed my face into the pillow, trying to muffle my fresh sobs and sniffles. I thought of all the things I wanted to say to him. The angry words I wanted him to hear. Would it help to yell at him? To vent it out, right now? I didn't feel like anything could help me or us in that moment. Not to mention that wasn't the type of girlfriend I wanted to be. Maybe Kimberley was right and it was my fault for not being honest. Why didn't I just tell him about the way Zek stalked my room and the nasty things he said? Everything would have been fine.

Suddenly my phone pinged again. I wanted to be brave and independent and not need to look at what he'd sent me but I had no self restraint left in me. I rolled over and looked at the latest text.

11.41pm Rollo : I can feel you hurting baby girl and I'm so sorry it's cause of me. I have a hard time trusting anyone but I should have trusted you. I know that.

I stared at his words, chewing the inside of my cheek. I can't be mad that Rollo has baggage because I know I sure as hell do too. I typed and deleted and typed and deleted what felt like a hundred times before I was happy with my response.

12.03am Indie : I'm sorry I kept some details from you. I didn't want to cause problems with you and anyone so really thought I was doing the right thing. You're mood swings are difficult for me to handle, I'm not sure I'm in the right frame of mind for them. I'm healing myself and I need to focus on that. I think I should leave tomorrow to take Ben home and arrange his funeral with his mother. I need some closure for that and to mourn properly so I can begin to move on. I can't be what you want in my current condition.

No going back now. I put the phone on silent and pushed it off the bed entirely. I cried hard into the pillow, I don't know how long for. But eventually, my eyes had dried up, my face swoll and I passed out into a groggy, dreamless sleep.

I was awoken by a dip in the bed and a sense of belonging. I didn't need to open my eyes to know it was Rollo, I could feel the goosebumps just by having him close.

"Was I having a night terror again?" I mumbled, I didn't recall dreaming of anything.

"No, go back to sleep." He answered as he slid closer, pulling me onto this chest,

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I needed you, baby girl. If you're leaving, just let me hold you tonight. Please."

I felt his lips lightly brush the top of my head as I hummed an okay and was consumed by exhaustion once more.