Done With My Ex, Moving To The Next

Chapter 21: Unspoken Desires

Chapter 21: Unspoken Desires

STELLA

It'd been two years since Wales.

Two years since the vans. Two years since Desmond and Taylor.

I made it. I cleared my name from the internet but with a scar I would never heal from. A scar that haunted me to date.

Tears ran down my face as I stood at the same spot, the same as last year.

I couldn't hold back. I held a bouquet of our favorite flower in one hand—scented white roses and her favorite fiction novel in the other.

Living felt illegal, now that she was gone.

I dropped the flower and book on her grave, tears falling down my face as I found her picture engraved on the built wall behind the grave.

She was smiling. Like she always had.

I made it back.

She didn't.

They'd taken her from me. The most important of all was what they'd taken. I'd really been ripped off it all—she was all I had.

I fell to my knees, I couldn't do it alone. I should have died in her stead. I should have been taken instead of her, she didn't deserve all of this at all.

I didn't care if other people stared. They couldn't understand the pain of losing the only person they loved so much, in this world.

I wasn't just dealing with guilt. I felt unworthy of each day I lived, since then..

Living with this scar was the worst…I hated it. I hated life again, as I ever had. But I couldn't die…her last words were “Live for me, Stella"

I'd watched her eyes shut. Forever as she smiled.

My heart ached with a sting at each memory of her.

I couldn't. I couldn't do it. This was too much!!

Two freaking years of her not driving into town. Two freaking years of her being underground while I had to live.

Two freaking years of having to live in this terrible world without her.

I cleared my name from the internet, but I wish it hadn't happened at all.

“S—st—el—la" She tried to say my name.

I'd held her as soon as Rhys arrived at where she was tied up. She was bleeding—she’d already been stabbed before we got there. Multiple times.

I pulled her tighter, tears falling down my face.

She held my hand in hers, mustering all strength to smile.

“You'll be fine, you'll make it," I said, clinging to the tiniest string of hope even though it seemed almost impossible..

“Don't give up, Val. Please, hang in there. We'll be fine," I begged her, panting, as blood rushed out of her mouth slowly, while her eyelids closed slowly.

“Call them, Rhys" I shouted, holding her. Shock jolted through my body like a taser. Taylor's right-hand man had done it.

“Ste-Ste—l—la" She gasped my name. My heart tore beyond every way it'd ever done. This was the most of all. This was the worst.

My best friend didn't deserve to die in my hand, for my sake.

“Please, Val. Please, you can do it —"

“I—i—c—cant—d"

“L—liv"—blood gushed out of her mouth, pouring on my hand.

“I love you, "I told her, almost like I was begging and giving her reason not give up.

Tears fell down her face even as she tried to smile. No. Even as blood oozed out of her mouth, she still smiled.

I could feel the cold from her body.

I couldn't let her die. Not for my sake. No. Never. She didn't deserve to.

“L—live—live for me” It wasn't words. I translated her gasps into words.

Her eyes closed. Her eyes closed finally like she'd lost control.

Her hand slipped out of mine, hitting the ground in a manner that was just enough to tell that hope vanished.

“Nooooo!!!!!! Valerie!" My eyes sprang wider, as I shook her rigorously. I opened her mouth, trying to do the resuscitation by mouth as I pushed her chest. It didn't work.

This was cruel! Fate was cruel!

“Please, come back to me. Please, don't leave." I shook her lifeless body, but I didn't get a response—she was gone. Far gone from me.

My breath hitched. Everything paused like I'd lost my memory.

I looked around at Rhys who'd just dropped the phone, the ambulance running towards us with their bay.

He had a few cuts on his face but it didn't look like a problem to him.

I stilled, shaking even physically. I didn't say nothing but before I could burst out, he ran towards me with his arms open.

I ran into his arms.

Two years ago. Yet, it still burned fresh in my memory like liquid fire.

Valerie was gone. But Rhys who I'd doubted, was here and I knew exactly why…

I turned around, to see him beside me with flowers in his hand. He said no word as he dropped them by her graveside.

He did well. He'd always let me cry whenever I wanted to.

He'd always tell me to let it all out. All of it.

Hours passed by, and the clear day soon turned cloudy as it began drizzling. The wind began blowing aggressively, but thankfully, we'd found our way into his car.

Like last year, I spent a whole day at her grave but this year, I didn't want to.

“Are you ready to go home now?" He asked as every other gentleman would.

I said nothing while I leaned backwards in the soft seat, a downward smile forming on my lips as though I hadn't cried my eyes out.

I was impressed.

“What?" He asked in his rough tone. “Don't look at me like that, Blaze" He turned his head, adjusting in his seat as he started the engine. God. There he went again with the name.

“Don't call me that, Rhys" I scoffed playfully.

That was how life had been, ever since then. Rhys had grown closer—that I no longer knew how to describe our relationship.

We were now more than just ex-brother and sister-in-law, we were more than mere neighbours, and there was a possibility of more happening.

I looked at him, smiling but on the inside, I wasn't. I just wanted to know how much closer he'd get; I wouldn't mind using him to get Taylor.

I didn't want legal justice. I wanted the kind that could only be found in fiction. The type in Valerie's favorite novel.

And I didn't need to swear, I was going to get it. I turned to catch another glimpse of Rhys.

Even if it meant using him to get to the top, I'd do it. For Valerie. I'd do a million things for her.

“Yesterday, we were talking about your fantasies, Blaze," I wanted to scream at him for calling me by that name again, but I held back.

I turned away, looking for something I hadn't lost. “Are they from those smutty books you love, Blaze?”

I wished the ground would open and swallow me whole.

"Are you shy?” He asked. Why did his voice always equal the depth of every conversation?

Holy Jesus!

"What do you know about fantasies?” I blurted, looking away before our eyes would have met.

He cleared his throat but I knew I'd tampered with fire. “I know it's about how girls like to be f****d or—” A force hit our car from behind, the force pushing me towards the dashboard but before my head hit it, he caught my head with his palm as he steadied my abrupt movement.