Shattered Soul

Chapter 5: Gift and a Name

Kade

I smiled at Wade’s comment as I closed the door again and headed back to my seat before pausing at the bed. She looked terrified. Not in her face, that was still kept perfectly neutral. Her body was still and held an uncomfortable rigidity that left me feeling worn out just by looking at her. Her eyes also continued to scan the room, always vigilant of my every movement, and here and there would be a quick view of fear in those almost gold eyes. I reached into my pocket, touching my most treasured possession for a moment as I debated. The knife wasn’t the sharpest after years of wear since - he - gave it to me and it was overall useless against any of my guards. All were well trained that a simple pocket knife wouldn't even make contact with their skin, but it could help ease her mind. Feel like she had some sort of defense since she had no claws. I slowly approached her before stopping an arm’s length away, forcing my hand to curl around the knife and extend out to her.

“Here. Keep this on you at all times, but promise me you will not use it unless absolutely necessary, and no one but me and you will know you have it.” I extended my hand toward her, palm up, holding a simple, but decent-sized button lock folding blade. The handle was black and chipped with many marks as to where I dropped it over the years. There was one spot I had tried to carve mine and Rea's initials back in high school when I felt we would always be. The stainless steel end cap had fallen off so many times I said screw it and super glued it back on. Even though it was warn, the blade was rust-free and sharp. Her eyes were wide as she looked at the blade, currently hidden in its black case, and then back to me.

“It’s for protection only.” I told her as she reached for it, “and keep it safe." I added softly, "It means a lot to me. I’ll get you another that you can keep at the Ranch.” She nodded as her eyes moved over the simple lines of the folded-up blade. She carefully took it, making sure our skin never touched in the process.

“Thank you.” She whispered. I could hear footsteps coming down the hall and moved to sit back in the chair when she grabbed my arm. I stopped, looking at her as she quickly snatched her hand away. The spot she had touched my arm had tingles like the area had fallen asleep. Who is this woman?

“Riley.” She whispered. “My name is Riley.” I smiled.

“Riley,” I said, feeling how her name rolled around in my mouth and liking it. “Nice to meet you, Riley. I’m Kade.” I reintroduced and gave her an easy smile. Maybe I could warm her up to me.

Riley

I never intended to give him my name, but when I touched him that tingling warmth that slowly bloomed across the palm of my hand was intoxicating and sucked all reason from my body. Our eyes had met and I could only think of those gorgeous eyes. He really seems like he wants to keep me safe so my name just came tumbling from my lips even after I had yanked my hand away to stop the near-uncomfortable tingling. I gripped the knife he gave me tightly, feeling safer with a weapon of some kind and also knowing if he handed me a weapon, then maybe he's telling the truth that he won't harm me.

“I’ll go sit over there.” He told me quickly after we stared awkwardly at each other for a moment. I shook my head.

“Stay there, please. I want someone I think I can trust here right now.” I admitted quietly. Kade looked down at me but nodded just as a man in a white lab coat walked around the corner followed by two female nurses and Wade. The doctor had auburn hair with flecks of grey here and there that gave him that distinguished look. His eyes were a muddy brown but he had a warm smile and a handsome face. One of the women was a honey blonde, with soft waves that fell to the tops of her shoulders and hazel eyes. She smiled at me as the second nurse was pushing a cart. She was tall, about the same height as the Doc who was about six foot, with very dark brown hair the color of mud. It was thick with the threat of curling at the ends and eyes that matched her hair.

“Hello there. It’s nice to see you awake honey.” He said kindly. I could smell that he and one of the women werewolves, the other was human. “I’m Doctor Theo Conway, but in the pack, I’m just called Doc.” My eyes flickered from him to the human woman who was the blonde, towards Kade. Kade nodded at me, confirming my thoughts. Doctor Conway looked intrigued as he glanced at the blonde human nurse. Her hazel eyes watched me kindly.

“You can smell that she’s human?” I frowned at him.

“Of course.” Does the Doc know I have no wolf?

“Hmm.” He muttered as he glanced at the charts. If he does, it would make sense. Maybe there was something medically wrong with me that he found that is preventing my shift.

“How are your ribs? I hear you gave Wade here a nice welcome gift.” He looked like he was trying to suppress a laugh as Wade growled behind him.

“It’s fine.” I lied. Conway’s eyes narrowed on me.

“Don’t lie. It’s okay if they hurt. I can give you pain meds for that.” I shook my head.

“No drugs.” I snapped. He glanced at Kade to my agitation but agreed when Kade nodded.

“Okay, no drugs. I do need to look you over. Is it okay if I touch you? If not, Waverly or Quinn can, or you can do it yourself.” He offered to make me comfortable. I bit my lip but nodded, not wanting to let them know how uncomfortable I was around them. I clutched the knife tightly under the blankets I had stuffed my hand under. The doctor had one nurse drag a cart in with fresh supplies and carefully pulled up my gown only high enough to show the claw marks on my legs. He carefully unwrapped them and the nurses helped him clean and rewrap them. He would mutter something like ‘good’ or ‘very nice’ to himself while he inspected each cut and he was very gentle as he only touched my wounds and nothing else. He was trying his hardest to make me comfortable, a gesture that made my eyes burn but I forced that down. I can't show weakness around them, around anyone ever again.

“Your cuts look very clean. No sign of infection and your stitches held except for a few here that popped.” He said as he restitched it. “No fast movements for a little while, and no more kneeing people in the groin unless they deserve it.” He added with a grin. I couldn’t help but smile at that.

“Duly noted,” I said. He looked up at me and smiled.

“A sense of humor! That’s great too. It’s the best medicine.” He chuckled before gesturing toward my face.

“May I?” He asked again. I nodded and turned so he had better access to my cheek.

“How did you get this?” He asked as he pressed the bruise around the edges. The pain brought tears to my eyes but I refused to let them fall.

“Does it matter?” He gave a soft smile.

“A bit. I didn’t see any bone fragments in the X-ray but there is a lot of swelling and something could have been missed. A hard object could have caused more trauma to the deep flesh and the bone, but a soft object much less.” I gritted my teeth.

“A fist.” Conway frowned and anger flashed across his face. It was strange on his face as he had an air of a kind soul and had been nothing but smiling and light-hearted so far.

“I see. This will take a bit to heal. I want to keep an eye on, well, your eye. There’s blood in it. Any blurry vision, trouble seeing, intense pain, headaches?” He asked as he got a light and looked in my eyes.

“My head hurts but I know I smacked my head pretty good.”

“Twice from the look of it.” I blinked. Twice? When was the second time?

“I did?” I questioned. “I don’t remember.” The doctor nodded.

“It’s to be expected. What about this?” He asked pointing to my neck. I looked away.

“That’s nothing,” I growled, ending that conversation. He glanced at Kade again.

“It’s fine, keep going.” He ordered. The doctor looked at my wrist, which was in a soft cast. Apparently, I fractured that and will be getting a plaster cast applied tomorrow. It being on my left hand though caused little issue. Doc then paused before looking at me closely.

“I need to see your ribs. Are you okay with me looking under your gown or would you like a nurse to do that?” He asked me. I appreciated him trying to make me feel so comfortable. He was a very likable guy. I glanced at Kade, then the doctor.

“Yes. But they stay here.” I warned as I pointed to the women. He nodded before turning to shoo Kade away.

“No!” I yelled before catching what I had said.

What the hell? Why? Why would you want him of all people to stay? To see your t**s? To see your hips? Your scars? Why? I froze, unsure what to say until anything spilled out of my mouth.

“Kade stays too, but he turns around. In -in case you do something.” I added quickly. There we go. He’s the muscle for me. The girls can’t fight him off, that’s why I wanted him to stay. You know that’s not why, even if you don’t know what the why is.

Conway nodded, continued to shoo Wade behind the curtain, and waited for Kade to turn around before he lifted my gown. His fingers were light and fleeting as he touched only what he needed to and did so minimally, asking here and there if that hurt, how much, and so on. I was truthful and it was over quickly though my heart was pounding in my chest and my every thought was of Maverick. His eyes hungrily looking me over, a hand reaching to twist my breast and laugh as I would scream in pain-

“All finished.” He said dropping my gown. “You have three cracked ribs but from your X-rays, everything looks like it will heal nicely. Let me know if you are nauseous or the headaches get worse and someone will be waking you every few hours. The concussion isn’t bad but I’m just being safe. For now? I’m prescribing rest.” He said.

“What about her weight and malnutrition? Any lasting effects?” Kade asked. I glared at him. There was nothing wrong with my weight.

“Just to eat her fill. I will be giving some supplements to help.” He said. “She’ll regain the weight naturally with a full belly and a proper diet. I would suggest mostly high protein meals to rebuild her muscle and very high carbs. Her wolf will need the energy to heal and regain all the weight.” He assured Kade. That irked me. I was the patient. Why did Kade care?

“All other issues can be discussed at the Ranch when she’s rested.” He told us. I shrugged and settled back into bed but remained, above the covers.

“Wade, take my card. Go get her something to eat. Steak or something else.” I looked up at Kade, my eyes narrowing. I don’t know why it irritated me that he was getting me food, but I didn’t like it one bit.

“I’m not hungry,” I said with a hard tone. Kade’s hazel eyes flickered to me just milliseconds before a cocky grin stretched across his lips. Half a second later he was looking back at Wade and gestured him to continue grabbing his card and going. Conway just stood there for a moment and cleared his throat.

“I have one more thing I must speak with my patient about.” He said, looking at Kade. “It’s a sensitive subject that I need to ask about.” I raised an eyebrow at him as he focused on Kade. Kade frowned and looked at me before nodding.

“I’ll be right outside the door.” He announced as he left too quickly for me to protest and fuming at his pushy demands. I just escaped a controlling wolf, I’m not looking to take orders from another. The doctor stood back from me as his eyes turned somber.

“What do you want to discuss?” I asked cautiously. I wanted to sit back up so I was ready for an attack, but I also didn’t want to show I was anxious about being alone with him and the nurses. The two women did give me a small sense of comfort.

“With protocol, due to you coming in all banged up and knowing there have been kidnappings, we needed to do a rape kit on you while you were unconscious…” He trailed off. I lifted my chin and turned my head to the window.

“Thank you for looking me over, Doc.” I dismissed. He nodded.

“There is always someone here to talk to if you need it. Kade does not know and will not unless you say something, though I'm sure he already suspects it. Injuries relating to that are private and will not be discussed with even my Alpha,” He whispered. I felt the tears prickle my eyes as he and the nurses excused themselves, leaving me alone for only a moment before Kade returned.

“I said I wasn’t hungry.” I snapped, glaring at him. I knew I was just lashing out but I needed something to distract me from the Doc, bringing back horrible memories.

“And the Doc said it seemed like you hadn’t had a decent meal in weeks. Is that true?” I kept my face carefully composed and gave nothing away as I stared him down.

“I’ll take your silence as confirmation,” He muttered as he settled back into his chair.

“Take it however you want. I don’t take orders from you.” I held his eyes, expecting the flash of gold as I called his authority into question. Alpha or not, I will not be controlled again. I breathed in slowly, forcing my heart to stay steady just like how I practiced. Garrett wasn’t even able to get my heart racing in fear when I concentrated.

“You’re not one of my pack, yes. But I will expect you to follow my orders while staying as my guest.” I gnashed my teeth together.

“Even if it’s not my choice?” Kade leaned forward; eyes still golden as he lifted one brow.

“I could just let you go right now. Leave you to the police. One slip up though and all the packs will come down on you for exposing us or those you are running from will find you before you are ready.” I lifted my chin slightly in defiance, but he was right. I needed their help until I could get far away, which wasn’t going to happen until I first healed, then laid low for a time. I hated to admit it, but I needed them and that meant I had to take orders and follow his rules for a short time. It couldn’t be so bad though. I spent most of my life in that hell. A few more weeks of being bossed around with good food, a warm bed, and relative safety will be a vacation compared to what I had to face before. Right?

“You’re right,” I admitted. Mostly to stroke his ego so the wolf would be calm, not because I actually wanted to admit that. “And I’ll follow your orders…to an extent,” I warned. Kade growled, a low rumble deep in his chest, but he closed his eyes and sighed.

“I guess, considering your position, that’s…understandable. I’ll allow certain defiant actions. Those that put my pack in danger though, or risk all our species, will be punishable to the full extent of pack law. Is that acceptable?” His look dared me to object to his generosity and find a way to argue those conditions. It was airtight and more than I could have asked for.

“That’s acceptable,” I said using his words. “Thanks.” Kade kept his eyes on me, possibly watching for any signs that I’m lying or making sure that I would actually follow any orders he gave me. When he seemed satisfied with whatever he saw he grinned, flipped his hood up until it hung over his eyes, and leaned back in his chair.

“What are you doing?” I demanded warily. He lifted one side of his hood up until I could see a golden eye.

“I’m not used to having that particular tone used on me.” He warned, then sighed, causing the gold to fade back to hazel. “Then again, I’m assuming you haven’t been part of a pack in a very long time, so you probably don’t understand why.” He muttered. I shrugged. No, I’ve never been part of a pack, unless you count Garrett as sort of an Alpha, his goons, me and my mom. Sort of?

“That doesn’t answer my question,” I pressed.

“And you have been avoiding all of mine,” He retorted.

“You said I could tell you when I’m ready.” I reminded him with obvious irritation lacing my voice.

“Yes I did, but there are some questions I’ve been asking that I could get a simple yes or no. No details, just yes or no.” I frowned and looked away.

“Fine.” I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest, feeling like a pouty child. Kade grinned and pushed his hood back slightly, so his eyes weren’t covered.

“Has it been a long time since you’ve had a decent meal?” I noticed how he worded it to be a simple yes or no response. My lips twitched but I fought back the smile. I didn’t want to encourage him asking questions. There were some things he couldn’t find out. The last group of girls flashed through my mind. The young woman’s blonde hair and shimmering blue eyes. I shook that thought from my head and look back up at Kade. He was watching me carefully.

“Yes,” I said barely above a whisper. He kept his face composed but there was a twitch along his jaw.

“May I ask how long?” His voice was softer with this question, asking not only the question but if it was okay to even ask. I paused to think about that, curious myself. Time wasn’t kept for me at the house, though I tried to keep my days straight. There were times though that I was beaten so badly I’d be out for days, and a few times, weeks, and they would never tell me exactly how long. My body would just give it away. The bed sores, the stiff joints, the sharp angles of my bones sticking out from under pale greyish skin, and the even more saggy fit of my clothes. I looked up at him.

“What day is it?”

“Thursday. November 16th.” He said. I counted backward. I remember being allowed to eat the day Garrett brought home some large steaks. He loved my cooking and I made all of them and a ton of sides. He let me eat my fill as my reward. I think that was his birthday in September sometime.

“September sometime?” Kade’s eyes again flashed golden and his face scrunched up into the more horrific look of rage that my heart rate picked up. Thank God the monitors weren’t still connected. I knew he could probably hear it but it was still easier to trick myself that he didn’t with the monitors off.

“How long were you captive?” I pressed my lips together, not ready to answer that. I shook my head and looked away.

“What about an easier question? What’s your last name? I could call around to the other packs and track down any relatives.” I looked up at Kade, biting my lip.

“I don’t know what my last name is,” I whispered. I was young when my mother remarried and died. Garrett never told me what my last name was even though I knew what his was and I refuse to take that monster's name. “Either way it doesn’t matter. My mother was an only child and died years ago and I never met my father. He had died in the Southern Pack Wars before I was born.” I explained. That was a far easier topic though it wasn’t as easily answered as Kade thought it was going to be.

“Do you have a middle name?” I shrugged.

“Probably,” I answered, not remembering it. I haven’t heard it in years. Kade’s face only got darker.

“Riley-” He started before pausing. I waited for him to continue but he never did.

“What?” I pressed, watching his face carefully. His eyes flicked to mine before he dropped them at my feet as if he was unable to hold my gaze.

“You can ask me. No guarantee I’ll answer but you’re the one that set those rules.” He grinned before his smile fell again.

“You don’t have to give any details. I’m not sure I’m ready to hear them, but, so I don’t do anything to frighten you or make you uncomfortable, can you just answer me yes or no?” He glanced back up at me and held my gaze for a moment before letting it drop again. I’m not sure why, but his voice, the soft tone laced with care and a gentleness that hasn’t been directed towards me in a long time, had me nodding before I had even thought about if I wanted to respond.

“Yes,” I whispered. He shook his head to confirm he had heard me.

“I’ll only ask this once. While you were with them, were you raped by those men?” He locked eyes with me. A cold chill washed down my spine before settling in a nauseating way in my stomach. I could feel my heart rate pick up as my nails dug into the sheets. My throat went dry and I knew I would not have the force necessary to speak so Kade could hear me. I looked away from him as I covered my breasts and pulled my legs up to my chest, hiding as much of me as I could before nodding. Kade was silent for a very long time, neither of us speaking, as I simply focused on the sounds of the clock ticking up on the wall and watched the seconds blend into minutes.

After nearly twenty minutes sitting there, I was stiff and figured he must have fallen asleep. I sat my head back up and looked at him. His eyes were still on me. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking about or how he felt about my answer.

You like that, don’t you? Maverick’s voice rang through my head.

You know you do. Any man that looks at you is going to know what a dirty w***e you are now… I felt the tears coming forward, stinging my eyes. I didn’t want him here for this and I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop the flood of tears. I stood up to snatch the blankets off the floor before settling into bed and tossing them over my head. I stayed as silent as a mouse as I let the pain wash through me and cried myself to sleep.