Although I’m parked directly parallel to him, he doesn’t see me as he climbs into a black Mercedes. Within seconds he’s gone and I take a deep breath. I shake from head to toes and try to clear my head and heart. My heart is dead to him, though. It will always be dead to him. Today. Tomorrow. Years from now. I have no father. I never will. We will never communicate again in our lives. Truth is, this will be the last time I ever see him in my lifetime. Here and now. Fin.
This happens quickly, although it feels like hours. One. Two. Maybe three hours. Time is lost as I sit behind the Soul’s steering wheel. I feel handicapped with broken legs and arms. Incarcerated. I want to forgive my father for what he has done to me, but I cannot drum up the strength to do so. Instead, a vomit-like taste
