LOVE ME IF YOU DARE

20 - Worthless life

Writer's pov

Morning

"Parvathi don't have time for all these maa ji. She never had time for anything in this house. Just living her life by enjoying the title of this house daughter in law. I don't want Lakshmi to be like that. That's why I am asking you to give me permission to teach Laksmi everything. Other than me who can do it ? " Varada was talking to dadi. She is asking permission from dadi to teach Lakshmi all customs and tradition about Rathore family.

"Where is Parvathi?" dadi asked to Varada while drinking her morning herbal tea.

"She left early in the morning. She always visits several temples at every new month. She didn't inform you ? " Varada asked to dadi like a huge issue. Dadi sighed and concentrated on her tea.

" She never bothers to inform anything with you. This is what I said, Lakshmi is going to learn the same from Parvathi. Dev is busy with his works and if Lakshmi becomes so irresponsible it will add much difficulty in his life. Please maa ji don't say no.... " Varada insisted dadi to give her permission to train Lakshmi.

"It should be Parvathi who has to do this, since she is not here... okay fine you teach her everything. I will call Parvathi to get the keys of house from where she kept it. " dadi finally agreed with Varada and give her permission to teach Lakshmi.

Lechu was running inside the room collecting Dev's things.  She thought he wouldn't come back to home yesterday so she slept like a dead body. But when she heard some noise from tv and checked her heart skipped some beat. Dev was sitting on the couch watching some random English movie and time was only early morning five. Lechu quickly jumped from floor and from there she started running.

Lechu's pov

When he comes ? When he wont come only god knows.  I don't have sixth sense to predict his actions also I am not that sixteenth century wife who gets to know about the arrival of her husband just by his footprints. I kicked on his dirty cloths on floor towards the corner with my leg and jumped on it again and again to let out my anger. After I feel satisfied a little bit I take it from floor to put it on laundry box but that's when I noticed something on his shirt, a lipstick mark.

I know I shouldn't be surprised for this because what is Dev and what he does its very well clear to me but to be frank sometimes seeing such things in front of your eyes can make a churn inside your heart. A curiosity to know with whom my husband spend his night? If I can feel that who don't have any feelings for my husband then how a wife who is devoted to her husband can feel?

Many faced flashed inside my mind who can be the owner of this lipstick in that Lavanaya is in the priority list.

Sometimes I feel jealous of her and sometimes pity. Who is this man ? Devdutta Prathap Singh Rathore. That name itself is enough to show know his power.

What kind of person is he actually? A pervert ? a womanizer ? I don't think so because if it was one between these two then he wouldn't have felt anything for Nisha. Life which he leading now is not something which he wanted but its happening.

I looked at Dev who came out from bathroom after shower. I couldn't take my eyes from him because of all these thoughts. Am I making any mistake in understanding this man?

"What's on your mind?" It was like he wake me up from my thoughts. I looked at him with my baffled face like I didn't heard what he said.

" Do you want to know this mark belongs to whom?" he took his shirt from my hand and asked.

"Without telling I can guess it,  Lavanya ... right?" I mumbled with a bee stung face. He came close to me by making me cornered and smirked. His eyes ran from my tip of hair to every inch on my body.  I felt like something piercing into my skin, that much intense was his looks.

"You are so much confident that it should be Lavanya ?" he asked and I stayed mum. I don't have a reply.

"Do you want me to set up a date for us like before?" I raised my eyes from floor in a shock and looked at him. That terrific night and his beach house flashed inside my mind making a shiver on my spine.

" What's with that look ? you are my wife so its normal right ?" I gulped a lump from throat watching how this man was changing. He is not even allowing me to think something nice about him.

"Do you sleep around with the person you hate? You might do that but I  don't " I replied clenching my jaw. Dev narrowed his eyes and it was obvious he didn't liked my reply.

" Who is saying this ? For you hate or love is not an issue right? Just need something inside to quench your thirst" he said with a dirty scoff. I looked at a side with a disgusting face.

"I think I asked that question in wrong way.  I should have asked for your rate first ? Is that what made you feel bad ? Your style is first money then job or .... is it like that ? "

"What you prefer usually? shopping card ? money ? cheaque ? Or Gifts ? ..... tell me. I am very curious to know what's so special about you that other than this ugly face and a stupid brain." I am not that much strong to stand there hearing all those hurtful words. I am not a prostitute to sleep around with people for money. I looked down when tears suddenly fell from my eyes just by thinking about it.

If it was a real thing then I wouldn't have cried but this is ....... Who wont cry hearing such lies about you? I never took any money from others for anything. Not even when I was with Yuvi. I am not ugly, I am the most beautiful girl in this world for my appa. I look like my mom and she is the most beautiful women in this world for me. I became a stupid for that what I can do?  Not everyone can become cunning like him.

"Crying? I think you get used to it. shedding some tears and I will fall for it. That's not gonna work in that way dear. I am now bored with your tears, I need something new to watch that helplessness in your eyes.  What about your sister ?"

I don't know from where I got that much courage to hold on his bathrobe collar when he put my sister into this. I stared at him with my blood shot eyes like I can kill him at that instant.

" Dare to touch her I will chop you down." I said showing my anger through words.

"You know I don't have anything to loose other than my family. " He scoffed at me and kept his hands on mine to loosen its grip from his robe.

" Seems like little snake got life after one night. This is fun....... Stay alive you little w***e. Because if I loose my toy then I need a new one. What excites me and easy to get is your sister. So use your words carefully in front of me and keep your body parts with you itself or I will break it one by one. Understood ?" he patted on my cheeks gently and went to get ready.

I wanted to choke him down with my hands but if I did that again loss is for me. Enduring all hatred rushed inside me and holding back my tears I continued my job. I just wanted to sent him office somehow. Soon he leaves that much peace I will get.

Down at dining area only varada aunty was there. Dev's dad is not here, he is on a business tour. Parvathi mam is also not here I don't know where she went. I heard from maids that she went for some temple visit which she goes in every month. So now in this house its only his aunt and I.

Dev and his aunt were talking about some business related matters and in between she put the topic of Lavanaya.

" Lavanya wont say this to you because she don't want to put pressure on you but her insecurities were well evident from her words when I talked. You should schedule a lunch or a dinner with her parents Dev. He helped us a lot in cosmos case only for his daughter. Don't forget your friendship with her. There are only few peoples like her on our side whom we can trust. Some came into your life as nothing but useless"

That was for me. Aunty looked at me while saying that. My appa and I are now useless for her but I was useful when they needed to pull of their family curse from Dev.

" Lakshmi what is your dad doing now a days? Is he busy with something?" Varada aunty stopped having her breakfast and asked to me.

"He is little busy with hotel and all" I replied

" Still..... how can he forget that he got his daughter married off to Rathore family ? There are some customs and rituals he should follow. What about that ? Next weak other family members will come here to see you then what are you going to wear ? Do you have any valuables to wear ?  What you are going to show in front them ? Also your dad should bring gifts for them. Are you going to cut our nose in front of other family members ?" She started pouring like Mumbai rain. Once it starts then it gives headache for everyone.

I remember, dad was talking about this. I thought it must be something unimportant custom but now it seems like  important.

" I will remind appa" for now I can only say this. What else I will say ? Dev was sitting there there like nothing is affecting him.

"If you remind him the its good for you. Maa ji will get mad if things didn't went kike she want. As the daughter in law of this family there are certain things you should learn. She asked me to teach you everything. From today onwards it's starting" 

It was like lightning struck on my head after rain.  What the hell she is stalking about ? From where this training and all pop up.

"What about my café ? " I asked

" For few days you have to be here. Ask some staffs to take care of that damn café or close it. " she replied casually. I looked at Dev to say something but I don't know why I did that. He was in his own world.

"Aunty ..... that's not possi"

"If aunty is asking you to do something you should do it. " Dev stood from chair and ordered to me. It was a warning  ... his eyes said that.

"Its not like your café is filled with customers and without you it can't be run" he grunted and went to washroom. That is also a truth but my head was spinning just by thinking about learning things. What is there to learn in running a house ? Servants are there, his aunt is here, and Parvathi mam is the head of this house  so it should her who have to teach me all this. Dev left for office and I was with Varada aunty.

" you don't have a saree to wear ?" she asked to me in a monotone

" huh? Saree ? not much, one or two maximum" I replied

" Whatever, go get ready first and come down. That's your first task. When there is any family function in this house or any party is hosted you should be in a saree. That's with a very neat and classy look. You cant look like a mad girl, loosen up hair and bloated face. Go and change first" She said very annoyingly and sent me to get ready. Jhanvi di should have left to office already then what I am going to do now ?

I came down after getting ready in a saree. I looked like a mess, I don't know how many safety pins are on my saree and from where and when it's all going to fall out. I braided my hair neatly and gave a neat look as much as I can. I followed varada aunty like an obedient child. At very  first she kept a huge book into my hands.

"Details of all workers working in this house is there. Including indoor and outdoor workers. Their wages, bonus and all other details are also there. You should remember it very well. " Aunty walked ahead instructing me what I should do with this huge book but why? How can I remember all this?

I thought she just wanted to show me how they run this house and how I should run later as a daughter in law but I was wrong. From there everything changed. I was taken as not Rathore family's daughter in law but a maid.

" You should know all these. So start doing it and finish them all before the time I gave" I was standing in front of a heap of clothes which was dropped for laundry.

"I asked you both here to check on her not to help her. If I see you helping her then you wont be here from tomorrow onwards" she warned looking at two maids who stood there opposite of me with their head down and agreed with Varada aunty.

I don't understand how I will say no to this. She said its part of my training I should learn it. So I started working without eating anything as breakfast. I have never washed a cloth, not even my own.  Operating a washing machine itself was new thing for me. It wasn't that much of a herculean task but hectic job was I had to wash some clothes with my hands. I put everything in a huge tub and dump the detergent as much I want. There I did a huge mistake because I ruined Dev's white shirt by mixing it up with mine and its color got mixed. I sat on ground keeping my hands on head.

"What I have done god?" I cried and looked around to see whether someone is watching me. Thankfully those two maids were not there and I quickly collected all clothes to hide it to a corner. He has lots of shirts so if one or two goes missing he wont mind.

It's dead hot today and sun is on top of my head burning me alive when I went to spread the clothes. If its goes like this the within a week I will look like a burnt mash mellow.

I ran inside after washing to eat something. I can finish a whole elephant now that much I was hungry. What I hate about these Rathore's food is they are all veggies and I am a hardcore non veggie. I like to eat chicken, egg, mutton and all kababs in this world. My appa cooks best chicken dishes but here all are eating greens and grass, including that Dev. I think he eats non veg but from outside. I can't even eat a chicken lollipop if I crave for some? That man doesn't like anything that I love. He hates sweet things. Just like his character only bitterness not an ounce of sweetness and I have a sweet tooth. I can fell right on the top of all pastries. It's my dream to swim in a chocolate pool licking off every drop of chocolate. Yummy.......

"Lakshmi............." Just before I could put a spoon of rice into my mouth there she calls me. I will kill this old hag today. She don't have any job to do ? Roaming around in this house like a queen. Even the real queen Parvathi mam is not like this. Leaving the food there I ran to her side.

"I told you to come and meet me soon after finishing your job then where were you ?" she scolded me .

"I was going to have some food. Time is already past twelve" I replied with not so pleasant face.

"Food is important for you now than learning everything ? " she spatted at me.

"When maa ji ask me what I was teaching you all this time what I will say ? " 

what's this woman's issue now ? Making me doing house chores is her so called teaching ?

" Come with me" she ordered and walked ahead grunting something about me.

I  followed her silently suppressing everything inside because here my situation is worst and there is no one to support. She took me to upstairs climbing all those steps and opened a room which looked like a cave, dark and dusty. She switched on the lights and now I understood it was a storeroom.

" Take these things down and start polishing it. Keep count on each item. These are all copper, silver and even gold is there. if anything goes missing I will ask to you only." She said pointing at lamps, plates, bells and many items. I was standing there like " what the f**k". If she wants me to do it then what are maids doing here?

"Aunty, you want me to clean all these? Why you are not asking maids to do it ? " I asked to her

"If anything goes missing from this will you give it back? These are not just silver and gold. These are antique items which was inherited through years. Even if your dad sell all his assets he cant buy one like this." Why she is putting my dad in each and everything. Did he took anything from her?

"What are you waiting for ? Take all these and follow me." She yelled at me and I started collecting.  From there she took me to the pooja room.

" Clean this place very well and remove old clothes and curtains. After polishing these arrange them very well then only clean the floor. Don't leave any corner. Make it fast after this I will say what to do next" My blood was boiling from head toe because of this old witch. What she think about me ? Her servant ?

I really don't know how to do it. I did like what I feel like right. My hand was burning from all chemicals. My appa never let me to get a slight dirt on my hands and that hands now look like a charcoal. My phone was ringing from my side, it was Ishaan and he is calling from café. Finally I attended the call and told him I couldn't come today. These aren't even getting polished what should I do ?

These people has lots of money then why can't they give it to outside shops to polish it? Before me who does all these works ? I am sure that old witch won't even touch them. Her manicured nails says that she don't do any job. Then left is Parvathi mam? She wont give any damn to anyone. Then why I am getting treated like this? 

I want to go my home........but I cant. That's the harsh reality.

Hours passed I feel like my bones are breaking from all over my body. Now I really look like a servant of this house. all sweaty, messed up hair, messed up saree which fall and I tug it again to the places I can. I washed my face and hands to drink some water and looked for the food which I took before but it wasn't there. I thought to get something else but couldn't find anything. Kitchen was kept neat and tidy. Time was past four at evening and I couldn't find any maids there. I need to ask them in order to make me something to eat. So I went to servants quarters to find them because this time they will be taking some rest.

In Rathore villa some maids are staying here and some will go back to their home at night then come morning. For female staffs there are quarters behind the house and for male staffs including watchers , drivers, gardeners their quarters is near to the garage. Zahir is staying in one of the main quarters alone. He is special and most trusted employer of Dev .

I saw some maids were taking nap and some were talking by gathering around while sipping tea or coffee along with snacks. To be frank the aroma of coffee and the freshly brewed tea pierced into my nose like I started drooling. I tapped on the door to get attention and they looked at me.

"Why there is no food in the kitchen?" I asked

" We wont keep food after the eating time is over. Varada mam don't like it. she will scold us if she saw left overs. So either we will have it or will throw it out" I clenched my jaw hearing her reply. Throw out the food? Seriously? Here I am starving and they threw out the food ?

" Then someone come with me and make food. I have to eat something" I said. What made me surprised was no one moved from their place. They looked at each other and then continued their tea.

"No one heard what I said? " I asked in an authoritative tone.

"We were asked not to do anything that you say." Ganga , head of the maids came to my side and said very politely. I was dumbfound when she said that. I wont blame them because they are doing what they asked to do but the value which I have in this house.......  I was no one to my husband but our issues were inside that four walls and that was a relief. But here I am no one to this house. today that witch showed my place as a maid.

"Ganga, I am asking you to make some food for me. Can't you do that much ?" I asked again and she looked at me all worried

"Mam don't get angry on me but we can't go against Varda mam's words. " Ganga replied in an apologetic tone.

"If you don't listen to me then I am going to make it hard for you " I also didn't give up. I need to know what's my actual place in this house.

"what's happening here?" I heard a rough and not so pleasant sound from my back. Ganga and  other maids stood from their place quickly very obediently.

Varada aunty...... I cant call her aunty from now on. She might be aunt for Dev but she is no one for me. Not even my mother in law. She was standing in front of me with her crossed arms and then stared at other maids.

"Did you finished your works which I gave you?" she asked

"I did... but" I replied but soon after getting the answer for her question she didn't allowed me to talk or bothered to listen what I want to say.

"I told you should come to me after finishing your work right? then what are you doing here?" She yelled at me and that's in front of maids.

"I was working from morning till evening without eating anything. You didn't even allowed me to have breakfast or lunch or at least a drop of water. I went to kitchen to have something but I didn't get anything. I asked Ganga to make some food for me but she said you ordered them not to make anything for me. Why it's like that ? " I shouted at her because my hunger was making me to someone else. Not that Adrushta Lakshmi who kept her mouth shut still now.

"Today its not them but you are going to prepare the dinner. Two three friends of mine will be here for dinner, Dev might come and Zahir will be there with him. So prepare food according to that. Menu for today's dinner will be written on the board inside the kitchen. Go and make it " my jaw dropped hearing my next job. Cooking...... wow Lechu, now you are totally screwed.

Kitchen looked like a war field for me. I love to watch people cook but never did it with my own hands. I thought I will get time to learn but I didn't. I mean I am only 23 then why ?

I can't even understand the ingredients, everything looks same, lentils itself got wide variety but which is what I have no Idea.  I don't even have a phone to check for recipes and some cooking video. God... I am going to do what I know. Please be with me.

I started putting ingredients after smelling and tasting according to the images that in my memory. I mean as for dhal definitely there will be dhal, salt and for yellow colour it should be turmeric. Like that I guessed everything. Salt is mandatory for every dishes. Chilly powder, masala and turmeric are the basics ones. its simple Lechu, go for it.

After some time all maids and that old witch ran to kitchen hearing my screaming from nowhere. I was in the middle of my experimental cooking and pressure cooker blasted right in front of me. I thought it's a gas cylinder blast and I sat down covering my face.

"what happened?" aunty shouted at me looking at the condition of kitchen. I slowly opened my eyes an looked around. Dhal was spread around the kitchen, on walls, on roof, on floor like everywhere.  Vegetables after chopping and washing were spread all over the kitchen counter , all kinds of knives , cutting board are scattered around, oil spilled out from bottle when I kept it  carelessly, masala and other powders got mixed up. What else was there to ruin ? I don't understand.

"You said, you studied what ?" Aunty came to my side and pulled me up from the floor holding on my hand and asked this one question.

"hotel management but.... Not culinary art" I replied quickly and my face was like I will start crying at any second.

"Shut up" she pushed me back by yelling at me.

"Look at the mess, you were taking revenge on me for giving all these job right ?" She asked

"no aunty, it's not like that....... I am not used to cooking........"

"Even some retarded kids wont make such mess. What is inside your head? Do you even have something called commonsense" she pushed me on my head with her hand while scolding me in front of o maids. That I couldn't take it because it hurts.

"Aunty, why you hit on my head? I did mistake I admit that but you don't have any right to keep your hands on me. " I said in a strong voice.

"So now madam has complaints with me? You have audacity to raise your voice on me after making this mess ? " When did I raised my voice on her? She is taking things from where to where ?  I rolled my eyes and continued talking to her.

"Aunty you don't have to twist my words to make your mistake right. I didn't liked the way you hit on my head and I want you to apologize but no...... its fine. I should at least consider your age right? so I am leaving that matter but please don't repeat this again." I said.  She was looking at me all shocked and then gritted her teeth.

"Who the hell are you to say this to me ? This is my house and here you should listen to what I say and I will do what I like" This women has gone mad?  she is not getting what I am saying and she making things that I didn't even think. I think she has hysteria problem.

"Aunty leave this topic, that's good for both of us. I cant make the food because I don't know how to cook. I need some time to learn. About this mess I need two maids to help me to clean up this mess and for today let them make food." I don't wanted to continue this useless argument with her so I said my side in a very polite way by suppressing my anger inside. I walked ahead to wash the mess on me but that witch held on my hand not letting me to move.

"Did I asked you to leave? With whose permission you are leaving ? " she asked

"I don't need your permission for that." I spatted back and that was the beginning.

Keeping my hand on left cheek I almost sat on the floor supporting to the kitchen counter. She just slapped me and that's in front of maids.

"What are you looking at ? leave" she turned around at the maids and shouted at them. Then again back to me. She fisted my hair and made me wake up from floor like I am a stray cat or a dog.

"When I am trying to be good, you are getting on my head? From where did you get this much of courage to move your tongue in front of me?" I was seeing another replica of Dev in her. Now I am understanding how Dev became a monster. She raised him after all.

"Leave....... Leave me. I said leave " I jerked back with all my strength from her grip and screamed.

"Don't make me mad girl. If I loose myself then even I don't understand how I will react. You already got into my nerves. How did that man raised up his daughter? So despicable and ....."

"Why you are bringing up my appa into everything. What's his mistake in this ?  I told you about something which m I don't know how to do. For that you are making all this commotion? Also I never seen anyone in this family doing all house chores by themselves. Then why you want me to do it? What are these maids for then ? To serve you? Are you giving them salary? Are they your maids that they should only listen to you?"

I don't know what was happening to me all of sudden. I felt like crying but at the same time I was hella angry. All that anger I suppressed inside was getting out in front that old hag. My heart started ponding. If anyone ask me what I just said to her then I don't remember that. That's how I was reacting without any sense.

"This girls must have gone mad. Do you know to whom you are talking like this? Do you know who am I for dev?" witch raged towards me raising her hand to slap me again but I held her hand to defend myself. I don't have to get beaten up by her one is more than enough and I am enduring that monster only for my family. I yanked her hand and scoffed like I know it better that who is she for Dev.

"I know very well who you are in this family? You are nothing but a caretaker of Dev. Who lives under this roof mooching off someone else hard earned money. Even beggars on the streets have much dignity and self respect than you" I yelled at her in my top of lungs. I didn't stop but that witch stopped reacting. She changed into someone else within few seconds making me wonder.

"Why you are talking to me like this Lakshmi? I .... I just asked you to do it because maa ji wanted to you to learn everything. Other than me who can teach you all these. If you don't want to do it then its fine but don't say such hurtful words to me. I can't take it. I lived till now only for Dev not for money or anything" saying this she started crying and I felt bad for saying all those words slipped out from my stupid mouth.

"If you don't like me to be here then say that. I have my home and of course my Dev is all grown up. He got a partner who can take care of him. My role is over ....." I bit my lips feeling bad and took a step forward to console her and really felt sorry. But the moment I kept my feet forward I got pulled back by someone with a sudden force.  That was unexpected and I got hit on something strong and board. Dev ..........

"Dev......" aunty covered her mouth with both hands in shock and called him.

"Say sorry" that deep voice fell on my ears like a thunder. I was freezed and my skin became pale. That witch trapped me into this situation. What I saw before was just acting. She already knew that dev was witnessing everything from behind me. Lechu say sorry or you are finished.

"Aunty I am ....." I quickly turned to that witch in order to say sorry but she  continued her drama

"You don't have to. I got what I should get. " she didn't even allowed me to say sorry and continued her melodrama. He wont  believe me what really happened here then what should I do

? That witch put a fake sad smile on her face and walked back to her room like she is the most kind hearted woman in this world.

"Aunty you stay there. The one who should leave is not you but someone else" Dev said to his aunt and then looked at me with those cruel eyes.

"Dev .... Enough. What happened  between Lakshmi and I . ..... its over.  You don't have to get involved...." While she was playing her good aunt character Dev clutched on my back neck and made me kneel down in front of her to apologize. I hissed when my knees hit on that cold floor with a sound. I thought my knee cap broke into pieces.

"She is my everything than anyone in this house. To her you were blabbering your filthy mouth you....."

"Dev.... No.....  Not here. I don't want to witness it. " saying this his aunt went back to her room. She didn't stopped her dear nephew but gave permission to do whatever he wants in his room.

Dev dragged me towards upstairs. I know what is going to happen next. Just give me enough strength to withstand his torture, because I need to survive. Even my death can't solve the problems hovering around my family.

"Dev....." I screamed and writhed while he dragged me through the stairs. When the distance to his room got shortened I cried loudly in fear. My strength and courage that I stored vanished to somewhere making me a fragile body. When he pushed me inside to his room and the door closed behind him, I watched everything with my trembling body.

I joined my hands and already started to beg but Dev passed by me not showing a bit of humanity in his eyes. Another dark and painful night is waiting in front of me. I realised.