A Second Chance

Chapter 18 * Jamie **steamy**

I woke up a couple of hours later to see Jordan sound asleep next to me. I looked around the room and took note that everything was straightened up. It looked like the night’s events had never happened. But the soreness of my body told me I hadn’t imagined it. He had accomplished the impossible task I had given him. He broke my body and cleared my mind. He made me feel safe and secure while taking every bit of control away from me. And when it was all over and I was a useless, lost heap of human, he tenderly cared for me and made sure I knew that I was loved and cherished.

He exceeded expectations. No one would believe one man could be so changeable. Even as I remembered every moment, it was still hard for me to believe it was all him. He was so harsh and almost cruel, mocking my struggles and relishing in his complete ownership of my body. I felt so vulnerable, almost like I was more of a toy for him than a person. But at the same time, I was never truly in danger. My fears were because I was pushing past my own walls that I had put up to protect myself. It was terrifying but also freeing. And then this same man who had so callously used my body for his own amusement and pleasure, without any thought for my comfort or wishes, had flipped to the romantic, gentle, thoughtful man that carried me out of the room and bathed me and gave me the safety of his arms to process my feelings in my own time. The more I thought about it, the more a need hummed inside me. I reached my hand out and brushed the side of his face. I used all my strength to lean towards him and gently brush my lips to his. He stirred and opened his eyes halfway.

“Are you alright?” He whispered, sounding concerned. I smiled.

“I need you to make love to me.” I told him. His eyes opened fully.

“Are you sure?” He asked, not hiding his surprise. “Won’t it hurt?”

“I’m sure.” I replied. “I need to feel you inside me. Try to be gentle, if you can.”

He looked at me with a furrowed brow, clearly unsure if he thought I could really handle s*x right now.

“Please, Jordan. I need you.”

He reached out and opened my robe. He helped me pull my arms out so I was lying there completely naked before him, waiting. He shrugged his own robe off and leaned down to kiss me. He trailed soft kissed slowly over my entire body, focusing on the places that hurt the most as a result of his earlier torture. My body tingled everywhere he touched and I ached with a need for him. He continued his slow worship of me for an impossibly long time.

He finally reached between my legs to assess how ready I was and groaned with surprised appreciation when he felt how I was already wet.

“How is this even possible?” He asked, not really looking for a response.

He looked down at my wet p—- like he was pondering something.

“What?” I asked.

“I’m just wondering. If you’re magically able to produce fluid after all you lost earlier, are you also able to come for me, one more time?”

My eyes widened, nervous and he smiled down at me wickedly before lowering his head until he was between my legs lazily lapping at my p—- with his tongue. At first I thought there was no way in hell my body could respond to this with everything it had been through only hours earlier but after a minute or two I felt the familiar build beginning to occur inside me.

In a way, my o—--m happened more easily because my poor body was so spent, my muscles weren’t capable of tightening to resist the climax that was coming. I reached for him and he held my hands as he brought me to a sweet undoing, nothing like the violent o—--s I’d had earlier. I squeezed his hands and let out a soft moan, calling his name. He sat back gazing at my c—, admiringly as it pulsed the last bit of climax out.

“I knew you had one more for me.” He said, pleased. “We can leave it at that, if you want.”

I knew his c— must be painfully hard by now. He’d watched me have 6 releases tonight and he only had one. I knew how much it turned him on to have that effect on me. But his own needs aside, I wanted to be with him. Oral s*x is great, but after everything we did today, I needed a moment that was both of us, together. I needed to have him inside me, for me.

I realized I hadn’t answered him yet and I looked up to see him kneeling over me, watching me intently. I knew if I told him I changed my mind and couldn’t handle it, he’d put up no protest. He made it very clear tonight that he wasn’t dominant simply to get what he wants. He was dominant so he could take care of me in a way that no one else ever could.

I shook my head to clear it. I touched his cheek and he closed his eyes, leaning his face into my hand. I smiled and he sighed.

“I want you and I need you. I need to feel you filling me, even if it hurts. I want to be consumed by you. Don’t be afraid. Trust me.” I assured him.

My words seemed to deeply affect him. I had completely put my faith in him earlier and he hadn’t let me down. I needed him to reciprocate that feeling and he knew that.

He lowered himself onto his elbows and settled his hips between my legs. He kissed me deeply. Staring into my eyes, he said sternly, “if you decide you want to stop, I will stop. I won’t hesitate.”

I nodded earnestly. He held my gaze, searching for any sign of conflict as he (extremely) slowly entered me. I closed my eyes but felt him nudge my nose with his. I opened my eyes and saw only his deep brown eyes looking at me intently.

“Don’t close your eyes, Love.” He said. You have very expressive eyes and I need to see them to know how you feel.”

I smiled a bit at that. I lifted my chin to kiss his lips and he obliged, kissing me tenderly. Once he was satisfied that I was alright, he began thrusting gently, in and out of me. I was super sore but I didn’t care. I wanted him this close. I wanted to be a part of him.

He kissed my neck and I moaned quietly in his ear. He picked up his pace, being careful not to ever slam against me. I gripped his shoulders tightly, trying to ignore the pain and focus on the closeness. He must have sensed my struggle because he slowed down suddenly and pushed himself up on his elbows to get a better look at my face.

“Jamie, do you want me to stop?” He asked.

“No.”

“Jamie.”

“Yes, it hurts, but I don’t want you to stop.”

“I will be ok. I don’t need to do this.”

“But I need it! I need you right now. Call it part of my aftercare. I need the intimacy of you inside me. I want to give you pleasure. Please don’t stop.”

He took a deep breath and continued making love to me. He lowered himself down again so he was flush against me. I nuzzled his neck and he sighed, contentedly.

“I’m going to speed up so I can finish, ok?” He warned. I nodded and held on tight to his biceps.

He thrust into me faster and faster until he finally let go and climaxed. He immediately pushed his weight off of me when he was done and rolled over, moving me on top of him. He was still inside me. We laid like that for a long time, me on his chest, feeling him soften inside me. His right hand was in my hair, massaging my head, his other hand ran lazily up and down my spine. I closed my eyes and breathed him in, letting out a soft sigh of contentment. He chuckled a deep, light hearted sound.

“How are you feeling, Baby Girl?” He asked. I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Better than I’ve felt in years.” I replied. I pushed myself up so I was facing him.

“Thank you. I know I’ve been all over the place. I’ve just been a jumble of confusing thoughts and feelings for so long, I was headed towards a nuthouse. I gave you an impossible task because I knew I needed something but I had no idea what I exactly was asking for. I put it on you to figure it out because I couldn’t. But you did. You gave me exactly what I needed. Every moment of this night has healed me. My mind is clear, my heart is clear, I feel calm and capable of tackling anything. I can’t thank you enough.”

He smirked at me. “Baby Girl, stop thanking me. Don’t think that any of what we did was a struggle for me. I enjoyed every glorious second of it.” His expression softened. “But, I would be lying if I didn’t say I was nervous about how you’d react. I’ve never been scared to dominate someone before but I knew the weight of this experience for you and I was so afraid of pushing you too far or not enough.”

“I knew you’d figure it out. You don’t dominate just to get what you want. You do it because you enjoy taking care of me. You pay attention to all the signs of my body. You know when I’m scared or in pain. I never worried you’d cause lasting damage.”

“Well,” he replied. “I’m glad you had more faith in me than I had in myself. I just want you to feel safe while also being free. I know you’ve been through a lot and some of that is on me. I want to help you be as certain about us as I am.”

“Jordan, I’ve honestly never doubted us. When I ran into you in Florida last year, all I could think was, ‘I knew it’. I always believed I’d see you again and I always believed your feelings had been real. I needed this to let go of everything else that’s been hurting me.”

“Jamie, I will always do anything and everything to eliminate any hurt in your life. No one will touch you ever again without your consent. I will keep you and your children safe.”

I smiled. “I love you.”

He grinned and kissed my head, “I love you.”

I got up to use the bathroom only noticing the plate of snacks on my way back to bed. I got really excited about it and Jordan laughed, a real, genuine laugh. We sat on the bed, drinking some wine, snacking and chatting for about an hour before finally giving in to sleep for the night. I slept more soundly in his arms than I had since Tony died.