A Second Chance

Chapter 5 *Jamie * Present Day- 6 months after trip to Key West

“Don’t work out tomorrow before work.” Becca told me as we were closing up for the day.

“Why not?” I asked.

“You have a potential agent meeting at 10am. Just make yourself look nice and come in on time.” She informed me.

“I don’t want any more agents. You know this. I don’t want a big brokerage. I only want people I personally can train and I don’t want to train anyone new yet.” I mildly scolded her.

“I know. But this person was insistent. They really said you were the only broker they were interested in and pretty much begged for a meeting with you.” She persisted.

I sighed. She was more of a softy than I was. Part of me considered coming directly from working out to the meeting to make the agent change their own mind but decided professionalism was always a better choice, even if I was going to turn them down.

“You’ve been a lot better since our trip.” Becca commented as we walked to our cars. “Is that from the trip itself or from talking to Jordan?”

I smiled at her. She knew me really well. “I think it’s a bit of both. It had bothered me for 16 years not knowing if he had just lied to me the whole time or if he really cared about me.”

“And do you feel like the issue is closed, or would you be interested in trying again with him one day?” She asked.

“I feel more comfortable than I did before, in regards to him.” I started. “But, when he kissed me and touched me, it was clear that everything I had felt was still there. That kind of shocked me. To feel that strongly after all this time and after….”

“Tony.” She finished for me. I nodded guiltily.

“Look, it doesn’t matter. He lives in Florida. I live here. We’re both raising kids. Maybe we’ll get a second chance in 15 years when our kids are grown.” I shrugged.

Becca gave me a small smile and squeezed my arm. We got in our cars and went our separate ways. Our separate ways being houses across the street from each other.

I woke up the next morning to Becca texting me not to work out. I laughed. She was a persistent woman. She started texting me what outfits she thought I should wear. I took a video of myself rolling my eyes and sent it to her. I didn’t get why she was being so insistent that I looked perfect today. It’s not like I didn’t look put together every single day.

Aside from Becca’s texts, there was also a text from Jordan asking if I thought we would have made it if he hadn’t been an i***t. I giggled reading it but then thought on it while I got ready. We had been corresponding off and on since that night we reunited in Key West. In fact, about a month ago, the night he had gone to my old job to get me back came up in his social media memories and he texted it to me as proof that his story was true. It was a photo of him taken in a mirror. He was holding a show ticket and a bouquet of flowers. The caption said, “I’ve got to go see about a girl”. He sent me the comments too which were his mom, his ex wife and a couple friends wishing him luck. Honestly, it broke my heart a little. He was so excited and thought he’d planned so well and the whole time I had already moved on. I thanked him for sending it and told him I was sad to have hurt that man in the photo. He assured me that man hurt himself and we left it at that.

I made coffee and did my hair and make-up. I got dressed, purposefully choosing an outfit Becca didn’t request. I typically wore flats, but today decided to go with a pair of cute suede wedges. They looked good with my black skinny jeans and bright green wrap blouse. I wore my long, now dark hair down in soft waves. I had just gotten a manicure over the weekend. So my nails still looked good with a deep burgundy polish. I sprayed a couple short sprays of perfume and grabbed my purse and padfolio.

I stood in the driveway for a moment, looking back and forth between my cars, before finally deciding to take my favorite, a deep blue Challenger. It was my reward the first year I made over $100,000 as an agent a few years ago. I got it just in time, before muscle cars stopped being made.

I pulled into the business parking lot a bit early and decided to answer Jordan then.

“I’ve thought about this a lot over the years. I came to the conclusion that I don’t think we would have, but not for a lack of compatibility or feelings. You were young and just getting out of a marriage. You were right in the middle of a quarter life crisis. While I was supportive of all that and you cared for me, all the love in the world wouldn’t have made you comfortable with getting married again for a long time. When we met, I was almost 30 and really starting to feel the clicking of my biological clock. I wanted to get married and have children. I would have given you a longer amount of time than any other man, but after a year or two, I probably would have started to feel like you didn’t want a family with me and you would have probably felt pressured to move forward when you weren’t ready.”

He responded right away. “Why are you so sure I wouldn’t have married you willingly?”

“Look at your relationship with Bernadette. You were together 4 years, got accidentally pregnant, and got married before the baby was born. You never chose to propose to her. If that was how things would have gone with me, I would have been devastated. I wanted a proposal and a wedding and a plan to have children. I never wanted to feel like anything was an obligation. In the end, I think we just had bad timing. I was ready for the next stage of my life and you were taking a step back to reevaluate your life. We just weren’t right for each other then.”

I put my phone away and walked in the office at 10am on the dot and smirked at Becca when she looked me up and down and smiled approvingly at my appearance. My brokerage was a large white cube with high ceilings and separate rooms divided by glass walls that could be clear or opaque with the flip of a switch. My personal office was in the far corner for the most possible privacy. I waved hello to 2 other agents that were working towards the front and placed a coffee on Becca’s desk next to another coffee cup. Becca existed mostly on coffee and Tacobell, bless her.

“Thank you, love.” She said, pleased. “The agent is already in your office. I took the liberty of making the walls solid.”

I raised my eyebrows at her, a little confused. I rarely do that with my glass walls, but I guess she was thinking of the agent’s comfort.

“Ok, I guess I might as well just get this over with.” I sighed. I smoothed my hair and straightened my blouse before marching myself into my office, ready to push through this interview as quickly as possible.

I opened the door and went directly behind my desk without really looking at the other person in the room.

“Hello, sorry to keep you waiting. I’m the broker, Jamie L-” I stopped suddenly, shocked. For a moment, I forgot how to speak as I just stared at the person across from me. My mind tried to catch up but just sort of fumbled around itself. The man smirked down at me, looking like he was trying to stop himself from laughing.

“Jordan.”

“That’s me, Baby Girl.”

“Don’t call me that.” I snapped. “What are you doing here? Did Becca know it was you?”

“Of course she did.” he replied calmly. I whispered a few expletives which got a chuckle from my “interviewee”.

I glared at him. He clamped his mouth shut and looked at me with a phony guilty expression.

“I warned you I was going to just show up at your door one day.” He said simply as though any reasonable person would have taken that seriously.

“I didn’t think you were serious! I didn’t even think it was possible. You have kids in Florida. I’m sure you wouldn’t abandon them.”

For a moment, he looked wounded. I immediately felt bad for saying it. I took a deep breath and continued, more calmly, “Why don’t we sit down, and you can explain.”

He nodded and we sat down on opposite sides of my desk, as though we really were having an interview.

“I’m in love with you.” He started. My eyes widened, but I didn’t interrupt.

“I’ve been in love with you since our first date. I messed it up then and moved on with my life. I got remarried and had children and thought I’d left you behind.

“But seeing you again- talking to you, touching you, kissing you- I thought it would have helped me move on, but instead, I haven’t been able to get you out of my head. Before I even left Key West, I had decided I wouldn’t let you go this time. I would do whatever it took to be with you. You are my soulmate. I know it.”

He looked at me with determined and pleading eyes. I stared back at him trying to process his words. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head.

“Jordan, aren’t you married? I don’t want to be responsible for breaking up a family. Yes, we have something between us but we don’t know if it goes deeper than superficial. We don’t really know each other at all. And even putting all that aside, it’s too soon for me. My husband only died a year and a half ago. My kids are not ready for me to move on.”

He leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on my desk. “First of all, my wife and I were separated when I saw you last. That’s why I was there. We had drifted apart for years and finally had an honest conversation about how we weren’t really a couple anymore and decided to split. I took that trip to clear my head and mentally prepare to start over again.

“We got our divorce finalized a month ago. She and I worked out custody of our kids with the knowledge that I would be relocating here. I will have the kids for most of summer vacation, both half of Christmas break, midwinter break and half of spring break. I am welcome to visit them in Florida for other holidays when I am able.

“Second, I have never had any inkling that we aren’t right for each other and I don’t think you have either. The only problem we’ve ever had, is that I left you. Or maybe you’re right and it was simply timing. Either way, I understand there’s a lack of trust here, and I’m willing to prove that I’m not going anywhere this time. I’m willing to spend time getting to know each other.

“I also understand your fear to start dating so soon. I completely respect your desire to wait until your children are ok with the idea. I have one question for you. Answer me completely honestly and we’ll go from there.”

He stood up and walked around my desk until he was right in front of me. He leaned against my desk, took my hand and pulled me up from my seat so I was standing only inches from him.

“What’s your question?” I asked, nervously.

“Do you have any interest at all in me? I understand not being ready. I understand not feeling safe with your heart right now. But I need to know if you think you could someday give me another shot.”

He looked me deep in my eyes, searching for the answer he hoped for. His dark brown eyes into my blue ones. We stood like that for a long moment, him clasping my hand in his own, patiently waiting for me to decide what to say.

“Jamie, I promise, I won’t push you either way. But I know what I feel. I feel it right now, being this close to you. It’s like a pull. I need to know if you feel it too.”

I sighed and closed my eyes. I felt myself swaying closer to him. I pulled my hand out of his and felt him stiffen, prepared for bad news. Instead, I took a step towards him, closing the small gap that had been between us, and wrapped my arms around him, leaning my head against his chest. He didn’t move for a second, surprised by my actions and then slowly relaxed and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head. He rubbed my back and I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent.

“Yes,” I sighed, pulling back to look up at him. “I feel it.”

A smile spread across his face and he put his hand on my cheek. I put my hand on his hand and stepped back.

“It doesn’t change the fact that I’m not ready. To trust you or to date.”

“That’s fair.” He said quickly. “All I needed to know was that you’d be open to it someday. Here’s my proposal: You train me. I really did get my real estate license for NY. Hold my license and be my mentor. I swear, I will keep things completely professional and platonic until you say otherwise. I mean it. We will be friends that work together. We’ll get to know each other again. Whatever boundaries you need to set, I will respect. I will never say or do anything romantic or s****l. I promise. If, or hopefully when, you feel you’re ready and interested, you let me know and we’ll take it from there.

“I’m not going anywhere. Whatever you need, I’m here. Just please be honest with me. If you get to a point when you decide you don’t feel anything for me, let me know. I still won’t disappear, but at least I won’t be holding my breath, waiting for you to be with me.”

I thought for a long time. He stood there patiently waiting. It was my turn to search his eyes. I don’t know what I was looking for, exactly. Maybe some sign that he was lying.

“You’d really be willing to hide your feelings and work with me every day, with no romantical contact? You’re prepared to let me be in control of your heart?”

He nodded, looking down at me with complete seriousness.

“Yes. I will wait. However long it takes. I will not make you feel pressure. I will just learn from you professionally and be your friend personally.”

“Okay.” I replied. “Let’s give it a shot. Friends and colleagues.”

“Friends and colleagues.” He agreed, grinning.

I walked him back out to Becca, told her he’d be working here and asked her to set him up with paperwork and a tour. I couldn’t even look her in the face because I knew she was grinning at me with ridiculous excitement. I went back into my office and tried to get work done. Responded to some emails, calls, and texts. I was searching for houses for a couple of my clients when Becca knocked.

“Yes?” I asked.

She stuck her head in. “We were all talking about maybe going down the road and having a ‘Getting to know you’ dinner in a bit with Jordan. He’s the first person to work here that everyone didn’t already know.”

She still had that stupid smile on her face. I glared at her.

“That’s a good idea. But Bec, you’ve got to stop grinning like an i***t. He and I have an agreement to keep everything platonic for now. I’d like it if everyone didn’t know our history please. If he and I can be professional, you need to be too.”

She made a big show of straightening out her face, making me giggle.

“We will be discussing this later.” She warned, before spinning around and returning to work.

I shook my head and went back to my house hunting.