Caesar Leone

Chapter Five

(Caesar) 

She sat there looking into my eyes. Making it almost damn near impossible to ask her what I had playing in my head. God why does she have to be so innocent looking otherwise , I would just take her right here right now. Dammit I gotta stop thinking like that with her in the room with me. 

“What is it you wanted to ask me?” she asked. Her voice was so sweet it made me wanna… ok i need a cold shower. Plus I don't even know her. I can't think of her this way. For all I know she could be here to kill me. But I can't seem to look away from her. Even the threat of death can't stop me from wanting her. From wanting to protect her. 

“Who were you running from?” I asked her calmly, but with my jaw still clenched shut. Her expression slowly changes. Her eyes grow dark as she begins to remember . the memory playing in her head making it hard for her to hear me. I can't seem to choke out my next words. So instead I say , “Who?” and with that she looked at me. Her eyes glossed over as tears began to fall from her face. Her voice cracked as she said.” I'm running from everything and one. I'm running from myself.” and with that she broke down. She hugged herself in hopes of making her sobs quite down. But it didn't help her. I leaned over to her and wrapped my arms around her like how Cain did to me. A hug. She seemed to relax into me. Her breathing steady itself. And she stopped sobbing. She had cried through my shirt. And made me angry to see her this way. And at that moment I vowed not another tear would  fall from her eyes. Ever. this thing that is happening to me is strange. I'm feeling for this girl. For athena. My athena. I know that technically I don't own her but I wish she was my girl. And right as that thought passed through my head a vision of my mother drove by. She was holding me in her arms singing one of  my favorite songs. And with that I looked down at Athena. She was now curled up into a ball. Laying against my chest. Sound asleep. I don't know much about this feeling. I can't tell you anything about it. But when I looked at her I knew for once in my life things felt almost normal. If you forget about the mafia, and her being shot. Or her being on the run. And me being the man I am. If you forget about all of that. Then you'll see how it felt. Normal. 

I should really get up and do some work. But I don't wanna wake her. So instead I'll just lay down with her on top of me. Hopefully my movements don’t wake her.and for the first time in as long as i can remember i slept the whole night . never waking up once. It was then that I realized I can't not have her with me. Because sleep has never felt so good. But after I thought about it longer I began to question how she felt about me. It was starting to eat me up inside. Things are funny because now I'm trying to see how she feels about me. And now for some reason I have feelings. Things I thought were long gone and buried . but somehow you dragged the last part of me out to the surface for the world to see. And that was that. The beginning of my love story and maybe the end of my pain. If only that was the truth. If anything this is even more painful. To be in love is to care about someone else. Love is when you break away from your own life and to put your focus on your girl. The one you love and are willing to kill for. I'll kill anyone who gets in my way. But this isn't how things are gonna end up. I'm gonna end up in a pile of broken glass that just so happens to be my heart. I'll get cut and bruised up all over. Or maybe I won't. Maybe she'll love me like I'm the only person she can see. Like when she closes her eyes I'm the last and the first thing on her mind.  That's what I need. I see that now. f**k i need to get outta here.. She's consuming my mind. I need to take a shower. I slowly slip out from under her. And place a blanket over her small body. Before grabbing a t-shirt and some sweats. Walking into my bathroom. I turn on the shower. Stripping myself of my suit from last night. And with that I stepped into the warm drops of water falling from the ceiling of my shower. The warmth was an amazing feeling . until my mind decides to play tricks on me. Reminding me of the last time I took a hot shower. The image of me laying on the bathroom floor nearly naked. My head had been hit against the shower wall. My father stood screaming at me. Then he turned the water to the hottest setting. Mind you it felt like boiling hot water once it came out. But he turned the hose towards me and sprayed  the boiling hot water all over me. I screamed in pain but he didnt stop. Once he was done spraying me with hot water, he began to stagger towards me. And pounded fist after fist into my stomach. The alcohol was heavy on his breath.the memory ened  And with that i punched my hand into the shower wall over and over. My anger getting the best of me. Until my hands were bleeding. I didn't stop then though I couldn't not until she opened the door and yelled for me. “CAESAR!!! What are you doing, oh my god are you ok.” Athena said I looked at her. Seeing she was about to ball out her eyes. Her hands held tightly around a towle she stuck her hand into the shower. Turning off the water. And handing the towel to me. She looked away so she couldn't see me.