Doomed to Die in 3 Minutes

Lying Constantly And Getting Away With It

The vampire and the demon stared each other down with fierce eyes, full of desperation, fear and resolve. A set of beasts on their last legs, trembling, one second away from collapse.

Their backs to the walls forcing their fangs to sharpen into blades of steel.

Corai had no choice but to rely on knowledge from his life on Earth, he was sleep-deprived and basically empty of magical and physical energy and decided to throw the last set of dice he had, his final gamble for when all else fails.

“...Please. I do not wish to continue this. I… cannot bring myself to harm you any further.”

Say every line, no matter how embarrassing with complete confidence. No matter how cliche it is, no matter how foolish it is or how ridiculous it is. He had to yell with a passion that forgets convention or sensibility. It was just more acting on top of the coat of falsehoods he already wore from day to day.

The queen’s face contorted to confusion as she let his words sink in.

That little twitch in her expression was the opening he needed to continue his assault of words.

“Your beauty… should I stain my blade with it, I would see your face upon its reflection and the guilt of robbing this world of your radiance would surely drive me to madness.”

Her face twisted to perplexion from the ambush of straight-laced words filled with romantic desire. This was neither the time nor place for such whimsical foolishness.

It was completely unexpected. That was why if nothing else the surprise factor kept her from reacting negatively or trying to attack her new suitor.

“My blade is filthy with the blood of beasts. Do not force me to use such an unclean thing to steal away your life. I beg of you. Show me mercy. To bear the sin of taking your majesty would be far too cruel a punishment.” His eyes gleamed with the slightest glimmer of water, tears not from sorrow but of grief and loving emotion. Her heart began to melt. If she just relented now the fighting would be over. He was going to let her just leave without anything more than this.

He was giving her a way out. Freedom from this struggle.

Her body began to take what blood it had left and flush it to her face. She couldn’t think straight.

These words were ridiculous but they were cutting into her heart. She had lost so much today because of him. If she backed away now, she’d be letting herself accept all those losses without having gained anything in return. If she kept pushing now though, she’d likely break.

It’d take all she had left to kill him and then at that point she’d likely be chased down and slaughtered like an animal by the surrounding cities with what little strength she had left.

If she killed him like this she was all but guaranteeing her own death.

The look in his eyes was filled with sincerity that looked like his life depended on it.

She pulled her hand back away from his neck and sighed.

“Very well. I will not subject you to such an unforgiving and eternal fate.”

She conceded in a way that she felt at least kept up the appearance and gave off the air that she was the one in control here. She was in fact the one holding all the cards but she didn’t know that. Zelo dropped his blade and stabbed it into the earth as the queen turned her back on him and began to walk away, she was forcing herself to keep a noble and dignified posture despite the fact her body was almost robbed of strength. Corai did the same. He looked at her back with unflinching eyes as he rested his right hand on the pommel of the embedded sword.

Once she was out of sight, Corai’s legs buckled and fell to the floor and he breathed a deep sigh of relief and wailed lightly with tears of joy that he had escaped yet another scenario of pain.

It was over. He closed his eyes with this revelation and let his weary body rest.

“Mhhhmmmm…” Corai awoke in an unfamiliar bed, in an unknown room with the scent of a familiar smell.

The bedroom he was in was a simple guest room, designed to hold someone for a short amount of time, it was clean and white and basic. His nose was being taken by the smells of foods that he had not had in ten years. He rushed out of the bed and headed towards the warm scent that reminded him of home, he opened the door and ran down the corridor to find a large dining table that was filled with plates of delicious cuisine that he had thought he’d never see again.

Hamburgers, hot dogs, spaghetti, pizza, roast beef sandwiches, fried and battered fish, pita bread and cuts of thin meat, grilled steaks and french fries. Junk food never looked so good and as he sat down at the table, several more dishes were placed on the white table by a man, food that resembled the fine dining of Europe. The chef smiled as he looked at Corai drooling at the feast of food from another world. “I knew it. You’re just like me.”

The cook sat down at the table too and took off his gloves. His hair was a mahogany brown and his clothes were a sterile kitchen suitable white, his eyes were a sharp green and he had a slight goatee on his chin but no moustache or hair on his cheeks. He was rather tall and had a muscular frame apparently despite his heavy clothing.

Corai looked up at the man and their gazes met with a sense of familiarity despite having never met one another before. “Hey, we can save the questions for later. I’m just happy to find someone else from Earth. C’mon, after all that fighting you did… well just go and stuff your face. No need for manners. I’m not going to bother with them right now. People in this world care so much about manners and that isn’t to say I don’t have any but man, I miss just pigging out with someone and not caring at all about how I look, don’t you? The name’s Albion. I made all this by hand. Please enjoy.”

With all the blood loss, Corai simply nodded at his fellow earthling before doing as he had been invited to do. He began to voraciously scoff down, chew, bite, swallow and consume everything he could get his hands on, almost choking from the volumes he had been forcing down his gullet, he punched his heart from the outside and took a long swig of a bubbly purple liquid in a bottle on his right. It delighted him to taste the carbonated sweetness that ruins the body.

Then as he was enjoying himself, a woman walked into the room from the hallway.

One with red hair and eyes. Corai flinched as he saw a glaring Olivia witness him cover his face in greasy food. “Urgh.” They groaned at one another as they acknowledged the existence of the other.

Olivia stares Corai down. If looks could kill, then her eyes could bring calamity upon an entire nation with their fury. The forests fueled the flames burning within her.

Corai took a long drink of water as he desperately shifted his eyes to avoid directly looking back at her. This situation was very uncomfortable and was ruining a good meal. The mood was both awkward and intense.

The two didn’t know how to start the conversation.

Thankfully Albion was there to light the fuse connected to the powderkegs.

“So, she brought you here. She was carrying you in her arms and I saw you,

"I had a good hunch you were like me and asked her to let me treat you. Fixed your wounds in… well it took a while. Lucky for you to have such a beautiful lady looking out for ya.”

An odd sound leaked from the edges of the lips of the man and woman across from one another.

If there was a tally of weighing how much one owed the other… it was a broken scale that couldn’t measure anything at all. Still, despite that… “thank you.”

Corai said the customary words that basic social interaction dictated and Olivia huffed in response.

“If I knew I was saving you I wouldn’t have done it. To think… urgh! You’re both so different!”

She closed her eyes, furrowed her brow, crossed her arms, tapped her right foot against the floor and ground her teeth with her head lowered to face the ground.

“Yet you still carried him all the way here! You were so worried! Gosh, people never can be honest with their emotions no matter what world they’re from!” Albion laughed heartily, it’s as if the mood and atmosphere couldn’t even budge or upset him at all.

It was clearly biting into the other two though and they kept muttering to themselves and couldn’t really find the words to carry a conversation with one another… until Olivia decided just to let him have it.

“I can’t believe I fell for that act of yours! I…! You ruined my maidenly heart! You bastard! Bring back Zelo!

"Say that the you I am seeing right now is a damned lie! Or else I’m going to kill you!”

She grabbed a kitchen knife and pointed it at Corai’s neck, he didn’t have any change in expression outwardly even with the blade pressed against his adam’s apple.

Albion simply began to dig into a bowl of soup, breaking off bread to dip into it and enjoy the flavours, seemingly not disturbed by the sudden turn of events at all.

“...You know, you’re not making yourself very likeable. You’ll never make any friends that way.”

Corai took a butter knife, made an incision to the centre of a roll of bread and began to spread the golden cube within, not flinching at all. He was internally panicked and quite pissed off that this was happening again but he did his best to contain himself. Even in his dreary and starved state, he remembered to always negotiate from a position of power. It was the only tool he had available to him in situations like this.

 She pushed the sharp blade just a little closer, drawing a single drop of blood as it broke the skin.

Corai sighed in response and put down the knife, the roll of bread and finally looked Olivia in the eyes.

He had to craft something to prevent the scorn of this crazy long-lived woman.

Something that changed her perspective about the situation.

To shift her understanding upside down.

Reverse the way she’s thinking from negative to positive.

It was the quickest way to deal with this particular situation swiftly and with the most effectiveness.

It might backfire somewhere down the line horribly but at this point, he just wanted to eat in peace. No need to think about tomorrow if you could die today.

He began to craft his lie out of tropes, common story beats and bullshit tactics.

He opened his mouth to speak the words that Olivia was waiting for.

There was no way this would work. Yet… he felt this was the only way.

“Zelo is my split personality. I hate the guy. He’s so… urgh showy and always getting us into trouble.

"I die almost every damn time because of his… heroics. Urgh.”

The perfect answer if she bites. If she believes it would be an easy victory.

Her hate would be justified and her affection would be justified.

The contradiction within her heart would disappear.

Giving another person solid affirmation and convincing them they were in the right, that they were correct even if they were wrong or misinformed… was a deadly weapon.

Olivia cautiously pulled the knife away, very slowly while never turning away from Corai who went back to filling his plate and consuming his food slowly, totally ignoring Olivia the moment his life was no longer in immediate danger. She put the knife down and sat in the open seat and relaxed her entire body, while the language of her figure read defeat her face was filled with a tiny smile.

“Ah, that makes sense. I wasn’t wrong. Hah. So he’s sharing a body with that i***t…”

Olivia began to murmur, muse and daydream. She had completely fallen for his lie.

Corai scoffed internally. It can’t be this easy. It was.

Gullible. Albion looked at Corai with a raised eyebrow, a smug smile and a knowing look.

Luckily Olivia was too trapped in her mental fantasies to notice or care.

“Thanks for everything man. The first aid, the healing and the food.”

Corai and Albion began to talk to one another, ignoring the presence of a very tired and dreary elf woman and blathered on about the world they left behind.

It seemed both arrived in Data exactly 10 years ago on the exact same day and both had no idea why they found themselves with nothing but the clothes on their backs.

They chatted about just about everything from their world and this world until they could think of nothing more to say. It wasn’t a deep conversation in any way but it was certainly a fun one.

Like catching up with an old friend even though they had never met before.

When all was said and then though Albion had one last set of words to say.

“So, Corai. I hate to bring this up after all that pleasant chat but… I have a job for you. I need you to help a friend of mine carry out an assassination.”