Lady Alice’s Diary

Chapter 3: Troubled Alice

Some things just come out of nowhere.

Early in the morning, Alice sat on her bed, still half-asleep, staring blankly ahead…

“Wait… could it be… my chest is… developing? Is it… growing a little?” Alice slowly reached a hand toward her chest.

“Ugh… ahhh…” A suppressed groan slipped through her teeth.

“It hurts… it really… this… feeling is awful!!!!!!” At first, she whispered—but then she suddenly shouted.

“Miss, here’s your outfit for today,” Bella suddenly said, pushing open the door.

“Aren’t you supposed to knock?” Alice shot her a sharp look.

Bella froze for a moment, expressionless, then backed out and closed the door. A few moments later, knocking sounded from outside.

Alice buried her face in her hands.

“Oh no… what have I done? I actually snapped at Bella?”

Breakfast, the dining hall…

“My dear Alice, it seems you’ve been keeping something from me,” Alberon said, eating breakfast casually.

“Father… you mean the pastry shop?” Alice tilted her head, trying to sound indifferent.

“Of course.”

“Daddy… can I share my thoughts with you later?” Alice put down her fork.

“That won’t do. You’re only twelve. Two weeks ago, you secretly borrowed money from your uncle to open a pastry shop. Setting aside whether you can run it well, do you have the energy to manage a shop and study? You need to—”

“I do have a lot to study! I have lessons to review every day, tasks from all the teachers… right?” Alice snapped, cutting him off.

Alberon and Donna exchanged surprised glances.

In Alberon’s mind, Alice was always obedient and thoughtful. She never interrupted during serious conversations—but now…

“Alice, dear, is something troubling you?” Donna asked worriedly.

“No… my uncle helped hire an excellent pastry chef, and I invited Doris’ mother to help too…” Alice recounted the events slowly.

“Well… while I’m genuinely happy you’re helping your friend, you still haven’t done it well enough,” Alberon said, patting Alice on the head. “Have you thought about how Doris’ family would feel if the shop failed?”

“It’s fine! Even if it loses money, I borrowed from my uncle and won’t make you pay back! I’ll earn it myself!”

Alberon shook his head at his feisty daughter.

“You may feel it’s fine, but what about Doris? The shop is under her management. If it fails, she might blame herself, feel guilty, and even lose the courage to see you again.”

Alice fell silent, letting out a small sigh.

“Mom, Dad, I’ve finished breakfast—I’m off to my morning lessons.”

Alberon and Donna watched their slightly dejected daughter leave the dining hall.

“Dear… did you perhaps go a little too far just now?” Donna asked Alberon gently.

Alberon stared at the empty seat.

“Alice is smart, but still so young. Cleverness can’t make up for experience… maybe she needs to learn the hard way.”

Later, at the pastry shop…

“Oh my! Miss Diana! Look at what you’ve done!” Doris exclaimed helplessly.

Alice was covered head to toe in flour. Had her parents seen her like this, they would have been overjoyed—since Alice rarely embarrassed herself in front of them.

“I… I just wanted to help… that’s all…” Alice mumbled, wiping her face with a flour-covered hand. Naturally, it smeared even more.

Doris didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Come, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Doris’ feelings for Alice were complicated, even she couldn’t quite describe them. From the first meeting, two years ago, when Doris fell into the Emerald River and Alice saved her, she felt an inexplicable familiarity. Alice seemed like an angel, warm and comforting.

Though Doris was a year older, she usually treated Alice like a younger sister, indulging her childish antics. But when it came to serious matters, Alice could switch roles, guiding Doris like a responsible older sister—a strange, contradictory charm.

“Miss Diana, please sit here,” Doris said, pulling Alice from the kitchen and ordering her to stay at an outdoor table.

“Doris, I just wanted to help…” Alice protested, shaking her hand.

“Let me guess… by ‘help’ you mean… making more work for me?” Doris pinched Alice’s cheek.

“Uh…”

“Miss Diana, you’ve already done the biggest favor—finding a fun, easy way for my mother and me to work. Leave the pastry shop running to me, my mother, and Uncle Jean, the chef.”

Alice glanced at her flour-covered reflection and sighed. “I guess baking isn’t my thing.”

“Don’t feel down. Everyone has things they aren’t good at. I’m not rejecting your help, I’m protecting you. If you had been clumsy near the oven, you could have burned yourself!”

“What if you got burned?” Alice asked worriedly.

“I’m not a pampered lady like you.”

“I’m not!”

“Enough, enough. I have work to do. Sit here obediently. No time to play today.” Doris waved and turned back inside the shop.

Indeed, just a week since opening, the shop was busier than ever…

Alice rested her chin on her hands, watching the bustling street.

She felt lost. No matter how often she reminded herself that she was now a girl, that she could never go back to her past life, each new development of her body filled her with fear. Fear of the unknown.

This morning’s outburst at Bella and her arguments at breakfast were fueled by panic over her changing body, her feelings, and doubts about the shop’s success.

Yet, when she was with Doris, all worries vanished—at least temporarily. Today, unable to help Doris, she wandered in her thoughts.

Her body changing. Her feelings. The profitability of the shop…

“Mom, can I have another apple pie?” a little girl at a neighboring table asked.

“Sweetie, I’d love to, but one apple pie costs three copper coins. I only brought five today. After one pie, we have two left—not enough for another.” Her mother wiped her mouth and ruffled her hair.

“Oh… too bad…”

Alice’s mind lit up. “Five coins… three per pie… two pies would cost six… but if we bundle them for five… maybe we could still make a profit.”

Bundled promotions?! A strategy from her past life, completely foreign in this world, suddenly appeared in Alice’s mind.

“Doris! Quick! Get me the pastry price list!”

Back at the castle…

“Bella, you’re saying…” Alberon rubbed his nose awkwardly, then left after signaling his wife.

Donna looked at Bella.

“You’re saying Alice is already developing?” she asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” Bella confirmed. Older by three years, she had experienced it herself. Though she often looked stern, she cared deeply for her young mistress and had noticed the changes during dressing.

“Ah… so this morning’s fuss was because of that,” Donna said with a gentle laugh, taking Bella’s hand.

“Bella, though you’re Alice’s maid, you’re more like a protective older sister. Can you forgive her morning outburst?”

“Ma’am, I was never upset. I’ve always cared for Miss Alice,” Bella said earnestly.

Donna smiled.

“By the way… Bella, please go to Master David, the butler, and ask him to bring the designer who made Alice’s clothes to the castle.”

Night had fallen. In a lavish bedroom, a young girl in a white silk nightgown sat at her desk, writing.

She looked about twelve or thirteen, with long golden hair that shimmered like sunlight, framing a delicate oval face that was soft yet not chubby. The strange mix gave her an air of elegance and cuteness all at once.

Her eyes were lowered, and she held a quill pen in her hand, absorbed in her writing.

“Miss, your milk.”

A cool voice spoke beside her, and a steaming cup of milk was gently placed on the desk.

The girl looked up and saw her personal maid.

“Thank you, Bella.”

Bella met her lady’s gaze. Though they had grown up together, every time she saw those violet eyes, she couldn’t help but think they were the most beautiful sight in the world.

“Miss, you seem very focused. I knocked, but you didn’t hear. Still, it’s time for you to rest,” Bella said, her voice as steady and expressionless as ever.

“Oh, dear Bella, just a little longer~ I’ll go to bed soon~” The girl batted her long, thick lashes playfully.

“Ten minutes. I’ll come back in ten minutes to make sure you sleep.”

“Fifteen? Please?”

“Nine.”

“Fine, fine, ten minutes! What kind of maid doesn’t listen to her master, anyway?” she pouted.

Bella stood silently, face unreadable.

“All right.” The girl reached out a hand toward Bella’s face, but before she could touch her, Bella smoothly stepped back, avoiding the gesture.

“Uh…” The girl froze, then sighed. “You can go.”

Bella left the room.

The girl pushed aside a sketch on her desk—a still-life drawing—and pulled out a thick notebook from the drawer. From the worn leather cover, it was clear this book was old. It was her diary.

She opened it, staring blankly at the candle flame on her desk. The flickering light was dim yet sharp to the eyes. After a moment of daze, she muttered with a self-deprecating smile, “Bella said this candle is made of honey, so it won’t smoke or smell bad when it burns. How extravagant…”

Shaking her head, she lifted her pen and began to summarize her day. Anyone who glanced at her writing would have been shocked—she wasn’t writing in the common tongue of the Norman Empire at all.

“Another idle day. It’s been twelve years since I came to this world. Somehow I’ve grown used to being the Duke’s daughter—living in luxury, enjoying a life both lavish and dull. It feels like I’ve abandoned my past self, that man I once was. No, not abandoned. I still try to surround myself with reminders of my former life. A little like him… only a little.” She paused, smiled wryly, and continued.

“Bella still hasn’t forgiven me. She’s still upset about that kiss yesterday. Honestly, I don’t even know why I kissed her. Maybe it’s because in my past life I was a man. Even though I’m a girl now, my soul is still a man’s. And Bella… she’s so cute. How could I not be drawn to her? Even if she’s expressionless all the time… Ah… I wonder if this world allows same-s*x love. But no, I’m still a man inside, so liking girls isn’t really the same as that, right? Ugh, this is such a mess…”

Her pretty brows furrowed as she was about to write more, when a knock came at the door.

Quickly, she scribbled: Bella’s here to make me sleep. That’s all for today. Then she called, “Come in.”

“Miss, your ten minutes are up. Time for bed.” Bella opened the door, her face as calm as ever.

“All right.” The girl shrugged, tucked the notebook away, and climbed into bed.

Bella tidied the desk with her usual quiet efficiency and blew out the candle.

“Bella…” the girl’s voice came in the darkness.

“What is it, Miss?” Bella’s tone didn’t change.

“I just wanted to say… good night. And thank you for the milk. It was delicious.” She pulled the blanket over herself, curled up on the soft bed, and turned away.

“…Good night.”

Bella left the room. The girl didn’t sleep right away. She lay in the dark, eyes wide open, as if she believed she could pierce the darkness if she just tried hard enough.

Morning. The Duke’s family gathered for breakfast.

“Alice, Bella said you went to bed very late last night?” Duke Alberon teased with a smile.

“Father, it wasn’t that late!” Alice puffed her cheeks, glaring at him.

She was grateful to be born into a noble family this time around. Though her parents valued etiquette, when they were together without outsiders, the Duke never forced his family into endless formalities. Sometimes, they felt more like an ordinary family than the most powerful nobles of the realm.

“Sweetheart, you’ve got crumbs at the corner of your mouth,” said her mother, Donna.

Alice quickly grabbed her napkin and wiped her lips.

Alberon and Donna laughed at the clumsy sight of their daughter.

Alice was their only child. Unlike most nobles who raised daughters like decorative flowers to be married off for political gain, Alberon and Donna adored their girl. They hired the best tutors in the Noah Plains to teach her, and Alice, dutiful as ever, studied hard and completed every task.

Outside of lessons, they gave her freedom—even allowing her to wander beyond the castle into the towns, as long as guards accompanied her. No other noble family would dream of such freedom, but Alberon, the only Duke in the Norman Empire, raised his daughter differently.

“Alice, you’d better hurry. Morning lessons start soon.” Alberon checked his pocket watch.

Alice quickly finished her milk and stood.

“Be ladylike, dear,” Donna reminded with a faint smile.

Alice rolled her eyes and made a quick curtsey. “Father, Mother, I’ve finished my breakfast. Please enjoy yours.”

Her parents burst out laughing at her half-hearted performance.

After Alice left, Donna said quietly, “Don’t you think she’s too mature? She’s only twelve.”

“My love, that’s not maturity—it’s intelligence. Alice has always been clever. She almost never gives us reason to worry.” Alberon smiled at his wife.

“…Perhaps.”

Alice adored her parents. Maybe it was because in her past life, she had none. Though she sometimes questioned why she’d ended up in this world, their love made her cling to it more and more. Sometimes she even wondered if her former life was nothing but a dream.

“Maybe I should forget my past completely and just be Alice, the dutiful daughter,” she whispered, before shaking her head and hurrying along.

Her lessons changed daily: literature, math, history, etiquette, art—even swordsmanship and riding. Mornings were always filled with study, but afternoons were more relaxed, usually free or with a bit of sword or horse practice.

Today’s class was history. At first, arriving in this world had left her lost and afraid. But as she grew, curiosity took root. Once she learned to read, she devoured books, especially history.

She knew history was written by the victors, but still, their “journals” painted a picture of the world. From her studies, Alice realized she had landed in a society resembling medieval Europe—yet not the same. A parallel world, perhaps. She lived in the Norman Empire, a mighty nation that had nearly united the entire continent. Three centuries ago, during the Wars of Chaos, Norman had been just another small state. Through countless struggles, victories, and “salvations,” it rose to dominance. Her own family, the House of Lancaster, had been among its founding heroes.

“One last question, Lady Alice: aside from our holy Norman Empire, what other nations exist on Tianyun Continent?” her elderly history tutor asked.

“Only the island kingdom of Valan to the south and the kingdom of Gomeya to the west. Both are small, resource-poor, and pay annual tribute, so our emperors have never bothered conquering them.” Alice answered smoothly, showing her diligence.

“Excellent. That will do for today. Lady Alice, review the relations among these three nations. Next time, I’ll ask you questions. If you can’t answer, I’ll have to report to the Duke.” He chuckled as he packed his books.

“Oh, Mr. Jeff, that would break my heart!” Alice clutched her chest dramatically.

“Ha! My clever and beautiful Lady Alice, are you worried you’ll fail my test?”

“If I can’t answer, you’ll promise not to tell my father?” she asked, batting her eyes.

“That would be impossible, haha!” Jeff laughed, fond of his young pupil who, though noble, was never arrogant.

“Fine then, I’ll make sure I answer perfectly.”

“I look forward to it.”

When Jeff left, Alice sat quietly for a while.

“…Maybe I’ll go play with Doris this afternoon.”