Nirvana

Chapter twelve

    “You’re a demon?” Katskai asked. “The guy I’ve seen get his ass handed to him by a kid twice his age in middle school? Am I the only one kinda confused right now?” all of the girls were silent. Vanessa’s blade was still pointed at Dylan’s neck. 

    “I haven’t been very honest since I came back.” Dylan started. “But I’ve always been like this. I just...hid it. I pretended to be weak, pretended to be powerless, pretended to be human.”

    “Why?” Vanessa asked sternly.

    “I...I was afraid you’d look at me differently. I was afraid you’d see me as a monster,...but at this point, maybe you should.” he rubbed at the markings on his arm. 

    “But I’ve never seen you with those markings before. Was the thing with your brothers a lie as well?” Dyan nodded. “So you’re telling me all this time, my best friend was a spawn of satan?”

    “No, well not really. I guess demon is a strong word. Don’t misunderstand, my parents are pure angels. And I was an angel as well, I was just different. My powers,” he raised his hand and a gentle flame danced across his palm. “They aren’t meant for holy beings. In a way, I was born as one of the fallen. And these markings…” he stopped when he heard voices in the hall. “It’s not a good idea to talk about this here. Too many eyes and too many ears.” he pulled his shirt back on to hide his arms. “When you guys recover, come to my house. I’ll explain everything. And I hope after everything you guys won’t hate me.”

    “We aren’t allowed to leave campus.” katskai chimed in. 

    “I can get us out.” Renei offered. “This isn’t the first time I’ve been restricted from leaving. But if we’re all leaving, it’ll have to be a quick in-and-out before they implement the new security.”

    “Those flames…” Vanessa started. “And your eyes. They changed.” her entire body trembled as she flew from her bed and slammed Dylan against the wall. “Don’t know how I didn’t see it before. YOU’RE CRIMSON AREN’T YOU!!??

    “Yo, Ness, calm down,” Sarina started, crawling out of her own bed. “If you’re this loud, someone will hear.” She ignored her.

    “Just answer me this,” tears welled in her eyes and she fought hard against them. “Are you the one who burned down the orphanage?” her entire body was shaking. Tears were falling, but she wouldn’t back down. Dylan’s face was saddened. He raised a hand and brushed hair out of her eyes. 

    “I’m sorry...I never meant to hurt you, Ness.”

    Without warning, Vanessa punched him hard in the jaw. 

    “Nessa! What the f**k?!!” Sarina screamed as she held her friend back. Vanessa pushed her away and turned back to Dylan. He wasn’t looking at her. His hand covered the bruise that had formed on his cheek. His eyes were dull and glossy. 

    “I’ll hear you out.” she finally said, “But that is the last favor I grant you. After tonight, stay the hell away from me. We are no longer friends.”

    As promised, Renei managed to get them all off campus unnoticed. It was around Midnight when they arrived at the King’s residence. They had also informed Raid about the situation so he could tag along if he wanted. Sarina and the others, who had never been to Dylan’s house, gaped at how big and nicely decorated the landscape was. It only brought Vanessa pain as she thought of the fact that this was likely going to be the last time she’d come here. When they knocked on the door Jason answered. He was surprised to see so many unfamiliar faces late at night. He greeted Vanessa with a joke, but she didn’t look to be in the mood. Moving on, he took the initiative to try to flirt with the two other girls that had come along.

    “Leave them alone, Jase.” Dylan said as he ascended the stairs. “We have s**t to do and they need to get back soon. Don’t bother us alright?” his gaze shifted to Vanessa who only glared at him and looked away. His jaw clenched as he endured the piercing pain in his chest. 

    “Well damn, somebody died?” he teased. He was met with annoyed glares. “Alright, guess I’ll be in my room. I’ll let everyone else know to give you guys some privacy.” with that he headed toward his room. 

    Dylan sighed and jerked his head up the stairs, signalling for them to follow him. He had brought up some chairs for them to sit, though it seemed most of them had preferred to stand. Dylan couldn’t remember the last time it felt so tense while they were together. He felt sick, instantly regretting the decision to invite them over. The awkwardness was unbearable. Then again, he could take the easy way out and have Jason wipe all of their memories, but he wouldn’t. They deserved to know the person they once called a friend. She deserved to know who he really was. 

    “I’ve always been different from everyone, angels and humans alike. My parents could tell you, I was strange growing up. I couldn’t...feel anything. The beginning of my life was anything but joyful. I couldn’t feel happiness or anything a normal child would. All I could feel was a long aching pain. No matter what I tried, it wouldn’t stop. Well, one thing helped....causing pain to others.” he glanced at Vanessa who’s eyes grew watery. “But it all stopped when I met you, Ness. You were a literal breath of fresh air for me. I felt better, more alive and of course I tried not to do anything that would upset you. I didn’t want to hide what I was from you, but everytime someone found out about me...they’d run away, hide, shun me. I couldn’t bear the thought of frightening you. I didn’t want to lose you as a friend. Guess my efforts are kinda futile at this point.”

    “Where’d this Crimson fellow come from?” Raid asked.

    “It’s complicated,” he started, “he...well we’re the same person kinda-”

    “Why’d you kill them?” Vanessa blurted out. “Everyone in the orphanage….Why’d you do it?”

    “Ness, I don’t know what you think you remember, but I wasn’t the monster you’ve painted me to be. It was wrong of me to hide, but I dressed up as Crimson to protect you, to be close to you. Back then, you were so distant. You never wanted me to come to your house. I didn’t know anything about your home. So...I created a persona so I could stay close to you. You may not remember much, but I ‘d come every night to keep you company. I’d bring you food when you were hungry. We’d sneak out together so you wouldn’t feel trapped in that place.”

    “Trapped? THAT PLACE WAS MY HOME! The people there were my family. Why don’t I remember all of this?” At first he was silent. He looked up seriously. 

    “That place...wasn’t as pleasant as you’d think. Do you really not remember what happened there?”

    “I remember having a lot of friends there. I remember waking up in a basement and there was fire surrounding me. Then I remember your face and you were covered in blood. Explain that.” 

    “I-I don’t remember,” he confessed. 

    “How can you not remember?! You were there weren’t you?” she bellowed.

    “Yes, but not entirely. When I said being Crimson is complicated, I meant it. When I get angry enough, I black out and it’s almost as if someone else is controlling my body. I only see fragments of what’s happening. I don’t remember what happened that night. I remember waking up outside that place and it was on fire. I remember I had you lying in my lap, breaten and weak. I got frightened, scared that I’d done something horrible and took you to my home. At first, I did believe I’d killed all those children, but I didn’t. All of them were alive and away from the house during the fire. I don’t know how, but the only bodies they found were grown men.”

    “My father and uncles…” Vanessa turned toward the door, tears streaming down her cheek. Dylan held onto her arm.

    “Vanessa please! You may not want to believe me, but the small fragments I remember about those men were not pleasant. I...i believe they abused you in that place. I believe  they’re the reason you have these nightmares in the basement. I feel like that’s why Crimson took control, because he feared for your life.” Vanessa snatched away from him. 

    “Why the f**k would I believe anything you say?! For all I know, you’re still lying to me.”

    “I can help…” came a sudden voice. They all turned to see Jason standing at the door. 

    “And why would I trust you?” Vanessa sneered. “You must have known what he was all this time and still you chose to play alone like you had no idea.”

    “It’s your choice to trust me or not. I can help you remember what your brain is forcing you to forget. Whether or not it helps you two make up doesn’t mean anything to me. But I have a promise to fulfill. This isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation.” 

    “What do you mean?”

    “Seven years ago, you asked me for a favor. Traumatized from the events that had happened, you asked, no you begged me to make you forget even though I told you my magic would do damage to you mentally after long term. To avoid making you go insane, I promised to bring back your memories once you were older and ready.”

    Vanessa touched her temple as a throbbing headache pounded at her skull. A slight memory of their conversation slowly started to come back. “There’s no way that’s true.”

    “Believe it or not, you can’t keep denying what’s right in front of you. I can’t turn back the clock, but I can help you remember if you really want to know the truth. Your choice.” The room was quiet again. Someone placed a hand on her shoulder. 

    “If you really want closure, this may be your only chance.” Sarina said. “This may be a difficult thing to think about, but trust that we’ll all be by your side every step of the way. We always have.” she gave her a gentle smile, Vanessa glanced at Dylan who’s eyes were filled with so much guilt and regret. She turned back to Jason.

    “I’ll do it, but only for my own closure. This doesn’t change the fact that both of you betrayed me. All of you, your parents, Tony, hid something this important from me. I don’t know how I’ll get past it, but I want to remember and decide for myself if it was worth it.”