Marked By My Best Friend's Dad

069

~ Alice

I knew something was wrong the second I saw Ky step closer.

Not dramatic wrong.

Not explosive.

Just… wrong.

There’s a shift in the air when something important is about to break.

I felt it.

I had just escaped Rownan’s dramatic spiral about Rowena possibly confessing love in interpretive poetry form. I was half amused, half distracted, already scanning the room for Iris.

And then I saw them.

Ky’s hand at Iris’s waist.

Too familiar.

Too comfortable.

That wasn’t what hurt.

What hurt was the way Iris wasn’t pulling away.

I stopped walking.

The music blurred into background noise.

People laughed around me.

And then Ky leaned in.

And Iris let her.

It wasn’t aggressive. It wasn’t forced. It wasn’t confusion.

It was mutual.

Soft.

Intentional.

And that was worse than betrayal done in anger.

For a second, my brain tried to protect me.

Maybe it’s quick.

Maybe she’ll move.

Maybe..

She didn’t.

I watched the girl I kissed an hour ago kiss someone else like she’d done it before.

Like her body remembered.

And something inside my chest went quiet.

Not shattered.

Quiet.

That’s how you know it’s real damage.

When there’s no explosion. Just silence.

Cause I know myslef I was very dramatic.

I don’t remember deciding to walk forward.

I just found myself there.

They broke apart when Iris saw me.

Ky stepped back.

Iris looked like someone who just woke up from a dream and realized it wasn’t harmless.

But the problem wasn’t Ky.

It was Iris.

Ky didn’t owe me loyalty.

Iris did.

I asked her to come outside because I knew if I spoke in there, I would either embarrass her or myself.

And I refuse to be dramatic in public.

Outside, the air was cold.

Good.

Cold helps.

“Did you want that?” I asked.

Because that’s the only question that matters.

Not “Did she start it?” Not “Was it quick?”

Not “Are you sorry?”

Did you want it?

When she hesitated, I already knew.

When she said yes, I felt it land.

Not like a knife.

Like confirmation.

That’s the difference.

Pain hurts more when it confirms your fear.

“How long?” I asked.

And when she said “before you…the time we met at the cafe. “

That was the first crack.

Before me.

I have being with her since. What the hell was she saying?

There was a whole history there.

A near-s*x. A near-relationship. A near-everything.

And I never knew.

I thought I knew her.

I thought we were transparent.

I thought when she looked at me, I was the only one she carried like that.

But she hesitated when I asked if she would stop Ky next time.

She hesitated.

That hesitation was louder than the kiss.

That hesitation told me I wasn’t the only place her heart lived.

And I refuse to be shared space.

I love Iris.

That’s the worst part.

If I didn’t love her, I would’ve walked away furious.

Instead, I stood there trying to negotiate with my own pride.

She said she chose me.

But you don’t hesitate when you’re certain.

You don’t freeze when someone else leans in if your heart is fully claimed.

You react.

Instinctively.

The way I would.

I haven’t looked at anyone else since the day I decided she was mine.

Not once.

Okay, maybe with Sasha, but it was all he fault she didn't give me time.

Hearing her say she still cares about Ky….that Ky is “unfinished, felt like standing in a house I built and realizing someone else still has keys.

And I won’t live like that.

“I deserve someone who is certain,” I told her.

My voice didn’t shake.

I’m proud of that.

Because inside?

Inside I was screaming.

Not at her.

At myself.

For not seeing it.

For not asking harder questions.

For believing that when she looked at me like I was her world, there wasn’t a corner of it still reserved for someone else.

I wanted to beg her to choose me fully.

But if I have to beg, it’s already lost.

So I stepped back.

Because love without certainty rots.

And I refuse to stay long enough to watch that happen.

I walked inside before my composure slipped.

The music was still playing.

Someone was cheering.

The lights were still golden.

It felt ridiculous that the world hadn’t paused.

I made it halfway down the hallway before my vision blurred slightly.

Not crying.

Just pressure.

Like my chest couldn’t decide whether to collapse or harden.

I leaned against the wall.

Breathed in.

Breathed out.

You don’t break in public.

You don’t lose control.

Not here.

Not over a girl who isn’t sure.

But the worst thought kept looping in my head.

If Ky hadn’t left months ago…

Would Iris have chosen her instead?

That question hurt more than the kiss.

Footsteps approached.

I didn’t turn immediately.

I already knew who it was.

Rownan has terrible timing.

And somehow, perfect timing.

“Alice?” he said softly.

And that was the moment my control started slipping.

I didn’t mean to sit down.

My legs just… gave up.

There’s a bench near the west hallway

.. the quiet side of the academy where the music sounds far away and everything feels slightly unreal.

I dropped onto it.

Rownan stood in front of me like I might shatter if he moved too fast.

“That was… not ideal,” he said carefully.

I let out a dry laugh. “That’s one way to describe it.”

He hesitated.

Then he crouched in front of me.

“Iris loves you.”

“Don’t,” I said immediately.

“She does.”

“Rownan.”

“I’m serious. I’ve seen her look at you like you invented oxygen.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

He blinked. “It literally means everything.”

I rubbed my hands over my face.

“You didn’t see her,” I said quietly. “You didn’t see the way she looked at Ky.”

He opened his mouth.

Closed it.

“She didn’t pull away,” I continued. “She didn’t freeze. She didn’t shove her off. She… let it happen.”

Rownan shifted, sitting beside me now instead of in front of me.

“Okay,” he said gently. “But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you.”

“She said she still loves her.”

There it was.

Out loud.

Ugly.

Heavy.

He winced slightly. “Okay. That part is… less ideal.”

I gave him a look.

He tried to smile. “Look, emotions are complicated. Love isn’t a light switch. It’s more like… WiFi. Sometimes it connects to two networks.”

I stared at him.

“That is the worst metaphor you’ve ever used.”

“I panicked.”

Despite everything, I almost smiled.

Almost.

“She hesitated,” I whispered.

That was the part that won’t leave me alone.

“When I asked if she’d stop Ky next time… she hesitated.”

Rownan’s expression sobered.

“That’s different,” he admitted.

“Yes.”

Silence stretched between us.

Music thumped faintly through the walls.

People laughing.

Prom still happening.

My relationship quietly dying in the hallway.

“I need certainty,” I said finally. “I don’t need perfection. I don’t need obsession. But I need to know when someone leans in to kiss her, she doesn’t think about it.”

Rownan nodded slowly.

“That’s fair.”

“I have never hesitated with her.”

“I know.”

“I have never looked at anyone else.”

“I know.”

“And now I’m sitting here wondering if the only reason she’s with me is because Ky left.”

He didn’t answer right away.

That silence said enough.

My jaw tightened.

“And now,” I added bitterly, “I don’t even know what else is true.”