030
1313 Words
~ iris
I stared at the video, until my eyes burned.
I didn't want to blink, because blinking felt like acceptance. Like if I looked away, it would become real in a way I couldn’t undo. The room felt too small, the walls closing in as the screen replayed the same short clip over and over.his voice, low and familiar, the slope of his shoulder, the way his presence filled the frame like it always filled a room.
Alpha Duncan.
With someone else.
My hands started shaking so badly I had to press the phone flat against the mattress to keep from dropping it. My throat closed, a hard knot forming there. And for a long moment I couldn't breathe. I sucked in air like I was drowning, chest heaving, eyes stinging.
This couldn't be happening
The bond,our bond had felt undeniable. Fated.
Violent in its certainty. It had wrapped around my ribs and sunk into my bones, rewritten everything I thought about myself, about desire, about love.
Has it all been one sided?
A sob ripped out of me before I could stop it. I rolled onto my side, curling into myself, pressing my face into the pillow to muffle the sound. Tears soaked the fabric, hot and endless, my body shaking with the force of it.
Had I made a mistake ?
No.
Worse.
Has it been convenient?
The thought made my stomach churn. All those stolen moments, the way he had thrust into me, the way he's touched me like I mattered, like I was precious, had that been nothing more than indulgence? A powerful Alpha taking what he wanted when it suited him, then returning to his real world when it didn’t?
A toy.
A secret.
Something he could put down.
My chest hurt so badly I thought something inside me might actually tear. I clutched at my shirt, fingers digging into the fabric like I could claw the pain out of myself.
This was why I hated men, they break your heart and make it look like it's normal. They are never content.
And when Alpha Duncan told me that night I was his mate, I gave him a chance.
I grabbed my phone again, my thumb flying to Eunice’s name before I even thought about it.
Of course.
Of course it was her.
Who else would do this?
She hated me. She wanted me. She wanted to break me or own me or both. This was her way, dirty, cruel, calculated.
My fingers hovered over the screen.
I didn’t call her.
Instead, a message popped up.
Unknown Number:
You really think this is Eunice?
No way in hell.
My breath hitched.
Another message followed almost immediately.
She wants you too much to destroy you like this.
This isn’t her style.
My heart started to pound harder, panic curling through my ribs.
Still on my phone, my vision blurred so badly I could see the screen. My fingers hovered over his name. I told myself not to. I told myself I didn’t want the answer.
But I needed something. Anything.
Me: Was any of it real?
I sent it before I could think better of it.
The message was delivered.
Read.
No reply.
That hurt more than the video.
A sound escaped me, something broken, almost animal. I tossed the phone aside like it had betrayed me and buried my face in my hands, crying harder now, shoulders shaking violently. The bond inside me pulsed, restless and confused, like it was searching for him and finding only silence.
I stayed like that for a long time. Long enough for my throat to ache, for my eyes to swell, for exhaustion to settle deep into my bones.
At some point, Alice shifted beside me.
“Iris?” she murmured, still half asleep. “You okay?”
I froze.
I wiped my face quickly, turning away so she wouldn’t see my expression. “Yeah,” I whispered hoarsely. “Just… bad dream.”
She hummed softly, her arm draping over my waist in a familiar, comforting way. The touch almost made me cry all over again. Guilt wrapped around my ribs, heavy and suffocating.
I lay there, staring into the darkness, counting my breaths, waiting for the ache to dull.
It didn’t.
Morning came too fast.
Gray light crept through the window, settling over everything like ash. I hadn’t slept,not really. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the video again. I heard his voice. Felt the bond twist inside me, tight and painful.
Alice got up first, stretching, yawning, completely unaware that my world had shattered hours earlier.
“ I've got an early class,” she said, leaning down to kiss my forehead. “ You coming?”
I shook my head. “ I think I will skip the morning one babe.”
She frowned slightly but nodded. “ Okay. Text me later?”
“ Yeah.”
The door closed behind her, and the silence rushed back in.
The door closed behind her, and the silence rushed back in.
I sat up slowly, my body heavy, like I was moving underwater. My phone lay face down on the bed where I’d thrown it. I stared at it for a long time before finally picking it up.
No new messages.
Not from him.
I checked again. Then again. Like maybe I’d imagined the emptiness.
Nothing.
My hands clenched around the phone. So that's it, I thought bitterly. One video. One question. And you're done with me.
The bond flared faintly, like a bruise being pressed, and I let out a shaky breath. I hated it at that moment. Hated that some part of me still reached for him, still wanted reassurance, still wanted to believe there was an explanation that didn’t rip me apart.
I swung my legs off the bed and stood, moving on autopilot. Shower. Clothes. Brush my teeth while my reflection stared back at me with red-rimmed eyes and hollow cheeks.
I barely recognized myself.
Walking across campus felt surreal, like I was watching my life through glass. Students laughed, talked, and lived. The world hadn’t stopped just because mine had cracked open.
Every Alpha scent I passed made my stomach tighten. Every deep male voice sent a sharp spike of panic through me.
Had I been nothing special at all ?
The thought followed me into class, sat beside me, whispered in my ear every time my mind drifted.
At lunch, KY slid into the seat across from me, concern flickering in her eyes.
“ You okay ?” She asked softly. “ You look…off.”
I forced a smile that felt wrong on my face. “Didn’t sleep.”
She studied me for a moment longer, then nodded. “If you want company later, I’m around.”
“Thanks,” I said, meaning it more than she knew.
When she left, my phone buzzed.
My heart jumped painfully before I even looked.
Unknown Number.
I didn’t open it.
I didn’t want another knife.
I shoved the phone into my bag and stood abruptly, my chair scraping against the floor. I needed air. Space. Distance from everything that reminded me of him.
As I walked, one thought repeated over and over, cruel and relentless:
If I was so easy to replace… then what had all of this been for?
Why had he been released from jail, if I wasn't important.”
I know I was just a useless omega.
By the time the sun dipped low and shadows stretched long across campus, I felt hollowed out. Whatever fire had once lived in my chest had burned itself down to ash.
And somewhere far away, behind pack walls and power and silence, Alpha Duncan remained quiet.
Leaving me alone with the worst question of all:
Had I ever truly been chosen,
or had I only been used?
- Writer
