032
1030 Words
~iris
I didn’t sleep again.
I thought I could be over it.
I lay awake until dawn, staring at the ceiling while the room slowly shifted from black to grey, my chest aching in a way that felt physical,like something had been carved out of me and left hollow. Every time I closed my eyes, the video replayed itself behind my lids. His face. The bed. The woman’s moans.
Aloha Duncan..
My Alpha.
My mate.
With someone else.
By morning, my eyes burned, my throat felt raw, and my heart felt like it had been wrung dry.
Every morning, I felt like this.
I told myself to breathe. To think. To be rational. Videos could be fake. Angles could lie. People could twist the truth.
But the way my wolf whimpered inside me told me otherwise.
I needed to see him.
Not text. Not call. See.
I threw on my clothes with shaking hands, barely registering what I wore. My phone lay abandoned on the bed, unanswered messages glowing accusingly on the screen. Alice had texted again sometime past midnight,Are you okay?. but I couldn’t bring myself to respond. I didn’t trust my words not to break.
I slipped out of the dorm as the campus stirred awake, the world moving on like nothing inside me had shattered. Students laughed. Birds sang. The sun rose.
Cruel, how normal everything looked.
The pack estate loomed familiar and intimidating as I approached, my steps slowing the closer I got. Id been here so many times before. Sometimes scared, sometimes painfully, aware of how small I was in a world ruled by power and bloodlines.
Today I felt empty.
I always feel empty, since I got that video.
At the gate, Thorne stood watch.
He straightened when he saw me, surprise flickering across his face before concern settled in.
“ Iris,” he said carefully. “ what are you doing here so early?”
“I need to see Alpha Duncan,” I said, the words tumbling out too fast.” It's important.”
Something shifted in his expression.
“I’m sorry,” he said gently. “He’s not here.”
I blinked. “What?”
“He left before dawn,” Thorne explained. “Urgent business. Outside the territory.”
The ground tilted beneath me.
“Left?” I repeated. “Without saying anything?”
Thorne hesitated. “It was… sudden.”
My hands clenched into fists. “When is he coming back?”
“I don’t know.”
The last thread holding me together snapped.
The air rushed out of my lungs in a shaky sob before I could stop it. My knees buckled, and I reached blindly for the gate, fingers curling around cold iron as tears spilled down my face.
No. No, no, no.
I needed him. I needed answers. I needed to look him in the eye and hear him deny it,or admit it.but not this. Not silence. Not absence.
“Iris,” Thorne said softly, stepping closer. “Hey. Breathe.”
I shook my head, tears blurring my vision. “I saw something,” I whispered. “Someone sent me a video.”
His jaw tightened. “What kind of video?”
I couldn’t say it out loud. Saying it would make it real in a way I wasn’t ready for.
“Was he…” My voice cracked. “Was he with someone?”
Thorne didn’t answer immediately.
That was answer enough.
My wolf cried out inside me, a sound of pure grief and confusion. The bond,the invisible thread I’d felt even before I understood what it was,felt bruised, strained, like it had been stretched to breaking.
“Why?” I whispered. “What did I do wrong?”
“You didn’t,” Thorne said firmly. “This isn’t on you.”
“But it feels like it is,” I sobbed. “Like I was just… convenient. Like I was something he picked up and put down when it suited him.”
“That’s not who he is,” Thorne said, though there was hesitation there too, and that hurt almost as much.
I laughed weakly through my tears. “That’s what I thought too. I feel you're just try to stay loyal.”
My legs gave out completely this time. I sank down onto the steps, burying my face in my hands as the weight of it all crashed over me. Prison. Eunice. Alice. Ky. The video. The silence.
Had I been blind?
Had I been a secret? A distraction? Something temporary?
Had I been nothing more than a s*x toy all along?
The thought tore through me viciously.
Thorne crouched a few steps away, respectful, unsure. “Do you want me to call someone?”
“No,” I said quickly, lifting my head. “Please. Just… don’t.”
“ Iris?” He called.
“ Thorne! It's okay.” I said.
It wasn't okay.
I wiped my face, anger slowly bleeding into the grief. If Duncan wouldn’t face me, then he’d chosen his silence. And silence, I was learning, could be just as loud as betrayal.
“I’ll go,” I said, forcing myself to stand.
“Iris..”
“Please,” I repeated. “Just… let me go.”
He stepped aside, watching me with quiet concern as I turned away from the estate. Each step felt heavier than the last, like I was walking away from something sacred without closure.
By the time I reached the edge of the grounds, my tears had dried, leaving behind a numb, aching resolve.
If Alpha Duncan thought disappearing would make this go away…
He was wrong.
And if the bond between us was breaking…
Then something else was about to break too.
I barely made it past the gates before my legs started shaking again.
The morning sir was sharp, bitting through my clothes,but I welcomed it. Anything was better than the suffocating weight in my chest. I kept my head down as I walked, hoping stupidly, that I could slip back onto campus unseen, dissolve into the crowd, pretend I hadn’t just unraveled outside Alpha Duncan’s estate.
I was almost free.
“Iris?”
- Writer
