047
1104 Words
~iris
The phone kept vibrating in my hand, like it knew I was hesitating.
Duncan.
Just seeing his name pulled something loose in my chest, something I’d spent months carefully locking away. I hadn’t saved his number again. I didn’t need to. I could recognize it anywhere.
Muscle memory. Emotional memory. The kind that didn’t fade just because you wanted it to.
I didn’t answer.
I couldn’t.
Some doors weren’t meant to be reopened,not because what waited behind them was unfamiliar, but because it was too familiar. Because I knew exactly what would spill out if I let it.
I slid back onto the bed carefully. Ky shifted in her sleep but didn’t wake. The room smelled faintly of detergent and paper and something warm and human. Normal. Safe.
My chest still felt tight.
I lay there staring at the ceiling, guilt curling quietly in my stomach. Not because I’d ignored the call,but because part of me had wanted to answer. And that scared me more than anything.
By morning, the guilt hadn’t faded. It had settled.
A knock came just after eight.
Three soft taps. Familiar rhythm.
Alice. My babe.
Ky groaned and rolled over, burying her face in the pillow. I slipped out of bed and opened the door.
Alice stood there glowing.
There was no other word for it.
Her hair was loosely tied back, eyes bright, cheeks lifted in a smile that reached somewhere deeper than usual. She looked… light. Like something heavy had finally been set down.
“Iris,” she said, stepping forward and hugging me before I could respond. “He’s back.”
I stiffened.
“Your…?”
“My dad,” she said, pulling back to look at me, excitement bubbling over. “My dad. He got back late last night. He’s really back this time.”
Her happiness was real. Undeniable. And it made the guilt spike sharper.
“That’s… good,” I said slowly.
She nodded quickly. “It is. It really is. He’s throwing a party tonight,nothing too formal, just people, music, food. The pack.He wants to see everyone. He asked about you.”
My stomach dropped.
“I..” I stopped myself. “He did?”
Alice didn’t notice the shift in my tone. “Yeah. He said it’s been a while and that he wants to catch up properly. He also wants to ask if Eunice had made our week tight.”
Catch up.
So he knew what he did was wrong.
The words echoed in my head like a warning bell.
“I don’t think I should go,” I said.
Her smile faltered. “What?”
“I mean..” I exhaled, rubbing my palms together. “I’m tired. And I’ve got a lot going on. Maybe another time.”
Alice studied me now, really looked. “Iris… what’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“But you’re avoiding something.”
I swallowed.
Because how do you explain guilt that doesn’t belong to the present, but refuses to stay in the past?
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” I said quietly.
Her brows pulled together. “Why?”
Because your dad and I will have some hot s*x.
But I couldn't say it
The room suddenly felt too small.
Because I know myself, I wanted to say.
Because history doesn’t stay buried when it smells familiar.
Because I don’t trust my own weakness.
God, I was over this man. What's happening?
“I don’t want to complicate things,” I said instead.
Alice let out a short laugh, confused. “Complicated what? He’s my dad, Iris. He knows you.”
I looked away.
That was exactly the problem.
She stepped closer. “Did something happen? Did he say something to you before? Because if he did..”
“No,” I said quickly. Too quickly. “No, he didn’t.
This isn’t about him doing anything wrong.”
“It feels like it is.”
I hesitated, then spoke before I could lose my nerve. “Alice… Nothing much“
Silence stretched between us.
Ky shifted behind me, half-awake now, watching quietly from the bed.
Alice lowered her voice. “Iris, my dad is not some threat. You know him iris, he saved you from Eunice.”
“I know,” I said.
She searched my face, clearly torn between wanting answers and wanting to respect whatever boundary I was trying to set.
“Please don’t…,” she said softly. “I just wanted you there. With me.”
That hurt more than anything.
“Alice, I have reasons,” I replied. “Good reasons.”
She frowned. “what reasons ? Eunice?”
“yes”
That was a total lie.
Alice stepped back slightly, processing. “You’re saying… Are you scared of Eunice now?”
“Yes.”
She shook her head. “You can’t be scared of my Aunt,” Alice said, almost pleading. “That doesn’t make sense.”
I swallowed.
“It does to me.”
Her eyes searched mine, desperate now, like she was trying to piece together a puzzle with missing edges. “Iris… you’re strong.You are never scared of Eunice. What's wrong? Is it Thorne ?”
The silence that followed was thick, suffocating.
She stepped closer again, voice lower. “You keep saying it’s not about my dad doing anything wrong. Then you say you’re scared. Then you say it’s Eunice. Which is it?”
My throat tightened.
Because how do you say I don’t trust myself around him without sounding cruel, selfish, or unfaithful?
Because how do you admit that something unfinished still has teeth?
“Babe, I don’t want to go. I’m not interested,” I said.
“Iri..” Alice started, but Ky cut her off.
“Alice, stop being dramatic,” Ky snapped.
Alice turned to her, eyes narrowing. “Your girlfriend isn’t interested. Just let her be.”
Alice let out a short laugh, the kind that wasn’t funny at all. “she never feel like going when it matters to me. Just you.”
“That’s not true,” I said quietly.
“Oh, really?” Alice stepped closer. “Then name the last time you actually showed up.”
Silence hung between us.
“ I'm sorry Alice, I will make it up to you.” I said, she sighs.
“ Okay, babe,” She said,and faced ky.
“ Ky” she called.
“ I'm sorry for interfering, girl “ Ky apologized.
“ No problem girl, now come guys let's go shopping for my outfits.” Alice said.
- Writer
