068
1253 Words
~ Iris
The kiss wasn’t an accident.
That’s the truth.
It wasn’t shock.
It wasn’t nostalgia.
It was choice.
When Ky leaned in, I felt it coming.
I could have stepped back.
I didn’t.
For half a second, I let myself have it.
The familiarity.
The electricity that had never fully died.
The version of me that existed before things became complicated.
Her lips touched mine and my chest exploded with something old and unfinished.
I wanted to drag her closer, I wanted her under.
And then I saw her.
Alice.
Standing there.
And in that instant, reality snapped back into place like a rubber band against my skin.
I pulled away.
Too late.
Ky’s hand was still at my waist.
My heart wasn’t racing from guilt alone.
It was racing because I had wanted it.
And that was worse.
Alice didn’t yell.
She didn’t cry.
She just looked at me like she was trying to recognize someone she thought she knew
.
“Iris,” she said quietly. “Come here.”
Not angry.
Not loud.
Controlled.
Which somehow hurt more.
And that was new, cause I knew Alice she was dramatic.
Ky stepped back slowly.
“I didn’t mean to…”
“Ky,” Alice said calmly without looking at her, “this isn’t your conversation.”
That silence that followed was suffocating.
I followed Alice outside.
The night air felt colder than it had earlier.
She didn’t turn around immediately.
“Did you want that?” she asked.
Straight. No cushioning.
My throat closed.
If I lied, she would know.
If I told the truth, I might lose her.
“I…” My voice cracked. “I didn’t stop it.”
She nodded once.
“That’s not what I asked.”
I shut my eyes.
“Yes.”
The word felt like glass.
I couldn't lie to her anymore, I had to release one secrets.
Her shoulders stiffened ,just barely.
But I saw it.
“How long?” she asked.
“How long what?”
“How long have you felt that way about her?”
I couldn’t breathe properly.
“Before you, before we were actually really real. The day I went to jail ” I whispered.
She went still.
“Before me?” she repeated.
“We almost…” I swallowed. “We almost crossed the line once. A long time ago.”
Her head turned slowly.
“You almost what?”
The memory flashed, ky hands on my waist in the room months ago. The way I had leaned in. The way we had almost gone too far.
“We almost had s*x,” I said quietly.
The words felt unreal once they were out.
Alice stared at me.
And this time , something cracked.
“You never told me.”
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because nothing happened,” I said desperately. “She left the next day because of her family. We never finished it. It was just..”
“Just what?” Alice asked softly.
“Just unfinished.”
The honesty was brutal.
“I thought it was done,” I continued. “I thought when she left, whatever that was left with her. And then you and I… we became real. And I chose you.”
“You chose me,” she repeated.
“Yes.”
“ I was there before her iris.”
“ I know…but we weren't steady. It was during the time of Sasha too.”
“ Oh so you bringing Sasha up now ?”
“ I'm sorryy but it's in the past, everything it's all in the past.”
“But you still love her.”
It wasn’t a question.
And I couldn’t lie.
“I don’t love her the way I love you,” I said quickly.
“That’s not what I asked.”
Silence.
“I never stopped caring,” I admitted.
Alice laughed once, hollow.
“That’s incredible.”
“I never acted on it!”
“You just did.”
That hit.
“I didn’t initiate it,” I said.
“But you didn’t stop it either.”
Her voice still wasn’t loud.
That calmness was killing me.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I whispered. “Seeing her tonight just… it pulled something out of me I thought I buried.”
Alice finally looked at me fully.
“I have never looked at someone else like that since we started,” she said quietly. “Not once.”
Guilt crushed me.
“I know.”
“Do you?” she asked. “Because I walked in and saw my girlfriend kiss someone she almost slept with.”
“I didn’t almost sleep with her while I was with you.”
“But you almost did before,” she said. “And you never told me.”
I had no defense.
“You had a whole history I didn’t know about.”
“I was afraid,” I admitted. “I thought if I told you, you’d think I still wanted her.”
She held my gaze.
“You do.”
The truth sat between us.
Ugly. Exposed.
“I don’t want to lose you,” I whispered.
“And I don’t want to compete with a ghost,” she replied.
That hurt more than anger would have.
“I chose you,” I said again.
“But you hesitated,” she said softly. “That’s what scares me.”
The music inside swelled again, people cheering for prom king and queen or something meaningless compared to this.
“Do you love her?” Alice asked.
The most dangerous question.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “Not the way I love you. But she’s part of me. She always has been.”
Alice closed her eyes briefly.
“I deserve someone who is certain.”
“You are the one I want,” I insisted.
“But if she leaned in again tomorrow,” Alice asked quietly, “would you stop her immediately?”
I opened my mouth.
And hesitated.
That was my answer.
Alice saw it.
And something inside her shut down.
She stepped back.
“I can’t do this.”
Panic flooded me.
“No. Alice, please..”
“I love you,” she said, voice steady. “But I won’t stay somewhere I’m second choice in someone’s heart.”
“You’re not second..”
“I don’t want to share you,” she said.
Neither did I.
But apparently I already was.
She wiped at her face quickly, refusing to cry in front of me.
“I need to walk away before this turns ugly.”
“This doesn’t have to be the end,” I said desperately.
“It is for now.”
“For now?” I clung to that.
“I won’t beg someone to be sure about me.”
The words were sharp , but not cruel.
Just true.
She stepped closer one last time.
“I hope you figure out what you actually want,” she said quietly. “Because you can’t keep both.”
“ And me thinking you were different,cause you're exactly like my aunt…”
Eunice!
Then she walked back inside.
Not looking back.
And I stood there under the balcony lights realizing something terrifying:
I had loved two people.
But I might have just lost the one who loved me without hesitation.
And this was the reason I hated prom. They are always dramatic.
- Writer
