The Rogue Pack Doctor

Chapter 4

My wolf is crying, trying to tell me to back to our mate. He can't really use words, but I can feel what he wants, he's a part of me so it is always what I want deep down too.

I'm afraid to shift, my wolf might just run right back to him, which is not what I want. I need this time to think everything through.

I run to my house in my human form, still not wanting to shift. Maybe if I'm further away from him and I can't smell his scent anymore, my wolf will calm down and not make it so damn difficult to not turn around.

But of course that doesn't happen. My wolf wants his mate, he can't do anything about it. I decide to try to shut him out for now.

I want to know more about him. His name for starters would be nice. I know I can't google him though, werewolves usually don't do social media so I'm guessing he won't either. Maybe there are some old pack files?

I also want to talk about him with someone. Really the only person I can think of is my alpha. Ned was close friends with my parents so he will probably understand my struggle. He was there for me when they died and I know he will always be there for me.

'Can you come to my house please? I need to talk to you' I say through mindlink. Ned is truly a good man, even though he is the alpha and demands respect, he does earn my respect and I think that is the most important thing in an alpha. He has been my alpha for as long as I can remember, he started pretty young, probably in his early twenties.

'Of course, I'll be there in a couple minutes.' He replies, not sounding annoyed or anything. He was probably expecting me needing to talk to him. I want him to come here, because I know he is there and I don't want to run into him. I got to find out his name.

I wait patiently, knowing that a few minutes with Ned really is a few minutes. He is never late.

''Oliver, I'm here.'' He says, walking through my door, announcing his arrival.

''Hi, I'm sorry for bothering you, but I have to talk to you.'' I hope he wasn't busy or in the middle of something.

''You're not bothering me, you can always talk to me. I think I already know what's this about.'' He says, a small smile on his face. He is already starting to show signs of aging, tiny wrinkles appearing next to his eyes and in his forehead. His normally brown hair is turning a bit gray already. Life as an alpha must be stressful sometimes.

''Was it that obvious?'' I ask. It is said that the moment someone first sees their mate, you can see it in their eyes. Could people see it in my eyes? Did I look at him a certain way? I mean, he also dragged me in a different room to talk, which would be weird if we weren't mates.

''It was, yes.'' Ned says, chuckling softly. ''I get that you're having a hard time with this, so tell me, what is the problem.'' He asks, sitting down in one of the chairs in my small living room. I earn quite a lot as a surgeon in the hospital, but I give a big part of my money to the pack. I don't need a big house and the pack needs the money more than I do.

''He is a rogue. He has done some things that I think are not okay. I don't know if I can live with someone like him, love him even.'' I say, sharing my worries with Ned. ''Especially since what happened to my parents.'' I add.

''I see your struggle, but I honestly think that he is a decent man. His decision to come talk to us, instead of just taking our land shows that he is not some savage, he is not unreasonable. His pack hasn't made any trouble, except for the breaking rogues out of their cells of course, but I think that might be justified too. You know how some packs treat rogues, bad ones or not.'' He says, not breaking eye contact with me, emphasizing what he said.

''I guess you have a point.'' This is all so complicated. I want to believe him, I really do. But part of me just can't. He is and always will be a rogue, he made mistakes that didn't just impact him, but also other people. ''Do you know what happened exactly with his former alpha? How he got kicked out of his pack?'' I'm most curious about that. It seems like the most dishonorable thing that he's done.

''Yes, I actually talk to that alpha sometimes. Apparently he stabbed him in the side, trying to weaken the alpha so that he could challenge him later for a duel. He put on sunglasses and a hoodie so no one would recognize that he was the one that stabbed him, but people eventually did, which caused him to be kicked out of the pack.'' Alpha Ned says, frowning a bit.

''He said that that's the thing he regretted the most. But I wonder if he truly regrets doing it or if he just regrets being caught.'' I say. If he could've gotten away with it, would he do it again?

''That's a thing that you have to ask him, I can't answer that for him. And about your parents, I know that since then you have a strong dislike for rogues. But you know that not all rogues are like that. The ones who took your mother were bad, we knew that about them. Thank god they're dead now. Even I have a dislike for rogues, but I truly believe this one isn't that bad. People make up rumours about him, because people like exaggerating, but in fact there are no real records of him doing anything really bad, except the alpha thing. I think you should give him a chance.'' He says.

Since when was he all team, god I still don't know his name. I should ask the alpha, he probably knows. ''So do you know his name?''

He burst out laughing. ''You were in that room for I don't know how long and you don't know his name?'' He asks, still laughing. I don't know what's funny about that.

''No, I forgot to ask him.'' I say, feeling a bit embarrassed. I'm also still thinking about the things the alpha said. I should give him a chance. I probably don't have many other choices. I will lose my wolf if I don't give him a chance. He can't live without his mate. I'm so close to my wolf I could never lose him.

Alpha Ned stops laughing when he sees my serious expression. ''His name is Rafael. Rafael Santos.''

Rafael. I really like that name, it sounds cool and exotic. It also really suits him. Santos pack is the name of his pack. He named his pack after himself, of course. I never like it when people name things after themselves, it just seems a bit narcissistic or something. Except if you're Lorelai Gilmore. It's okay then.

''He actually came to me, asking me what happened in your past.'' Alpha Ned continues, drawing my attention.

''What did you say?'' Did he tell him? I don't know if I want that or not. I wouldn't have to tell Rafael which would be a weight of my shoulders, but I'm also not ready for him to know such a sensitive part of me and my past without even knowing me.

''I said that it's not up to me to tell him. That you would tell him when you're ready for it.'' He says, not seeming unsure of his way of handling the situation. I actually feel a bit relieved. He doesn't know the most important piece of information about my past, this just means I have to tell him myself.

''Thank you. I appreciate it.'' I say, feeling grateful for alpha Ned. I'm just happy he's here so I have someone to talk to.

''You only get one chance of happiness, Oliver. Use it wisely.'' He says, before standing up. I know that Rafael's my only chance of happiness. But will I be truly happy if he embodies something that I hate?

I probably have to let go of that hate. Not all rogues are the same, I need to get that through my head.

''Thank you for being here for me and giving me advise.'' I say, smiling at alpha Ned. I'm truly thankful for him being here and listening to me.

''Always.'' He says, before giving me a brief hug. We aren't really friends but he is more like an uncle to me. ''Now I've got to go handle some pack stuff.'' He says, after pulling back from the hug. ''Take care.'' With that he walks out of the door.

I look at the clock to see that it's already 10 pm. I quickly get something to eat before deciding to just go to sleep already. I know I probably won't sleep well, but I need to be at least a bit rested for my conversation tomorrow with Rafael. I'm going to give him a chance, but he needs to meet me in the middle. I don't want to live in a pack full of rogues, and I will not immediately. Normally mates go to live with each other immediately, but with us that's a bit impossible. I'll just make that clear to him tomorrow.

Now I just really want to sleep and forget about the things that happened today.