Intertwined souls

An Understanding

Three days had passed since I last saw Blake and Noah. I had gone into town the day before yesterday and gotten myself a couch and a small kitchen table, though when I tried paying for it the older woman told me she was ‘under strict orders not to let me pay for anything’. Which was clearly Blakes doing, seeing that it was apparently his store, but I hadn't seen him. We never exchanged phone numbers or anything, but it still felt weird that we hadn't spoken. But alas, I’m sure it was for the better. I didn't need to be with anyone or start with someone when I already knew how it would end. I mean he knew that I couldn’t have kids, so I assumed that's why I didn't hear from him. Regardless of how I felt around him, he was no different from another man I had been with in the past.

I threw on one of my rock band T-shirt dresses, some shoes, and threw my hair in a ponytail. I needed to go into town today and grab some necessities that I had never grabbed. I started my car and before I drove to the store I found a cute little coffee shop and went in. I got inside and was reading the menu when I saw the name of the shop ‘Barren Coffee Corner’. Funny, I thought, my kind of coffee shop. I laughed to myself and ordered my coffee from a very friendly guy in his twenties.

“ Girl, I know who you are. I’ve heard from you a few times. People only actually sit inside a coffee shop to work, or gossip” he said.

He seemed overly happy to be talking to me, seeing as I had no clue who he was, I asked what his name was and he told me it was Travis.

“And what have you heard about me?” I asked. In all honesty, I was actually thinking he had me confused with someone else.

“Girl, when you were seen out with Blake, that was all I needed to know about you. So, basically, we're already BFFs, and I’ll tell you, you’ve got yourself a fine man”. Once he was finished, I stared at him in shock.

He did know who I was, I didn't think that getting furniture with Blake would make me known all over town. But regardless, that wasn’t the situation at all. We were not together.

“ Oh well, I hate to tell you, but we're not together. Uh, he was my realtor and since I’m new to town he was just helping me get settled. I haven't talked to him since then”. I said it with more attitude than I meant to but he didn't seem to get the point.

“Oh so you’re not a thing?” He said, questioning me.

“No,we are not” I said, narrowing my eyes at him.

“Oh, well, that makes total sense. I mean, if I was just helping someone out, I would just give them free furniture too. Obviously” and with that, he winked, then turned around to make my coffee.

I felt like I needed to say more, but I dropped it. Other than him being too persistent, I really liked him. I needed friends in the area and hopefully I would see him again. He gave me my coffee with another wink and a ‘ Bye babe’ and I walked back out to my car.

After only a couple minutes of driving, I made it to the ‘Barren General store’. I saw that it had the same name as the coffee shop but I didn't think anything of it. I went inside and grabbed everything I needed, along with a few small decorations I found for the house. I was walking back to my car when, all the sudden, I felt two small arms wrap around the bottom of my legs.

“O!O! I missed you!!” it was Noah wrapped around my legs.

I set my bags in my car and picked him up. It felt like my day automatically got a hundred times better than it had been.

“Oh my gosh Noah!! How are you? I miss you too!” I told him as he embraced me in a little hug.

“So good”, He shouted, “ I went to my cousin's birthday party, and then after we all got to eat a blue ice cream cake”. He continued to yell in my ear.

It made me so happy to see him again. I hadn't noticed how lonely I had felt the last few days. He continued talking to me for a few more minutes about a dinosaur museum with his aunt and then told me how he was going to go school shopping for kindergarten.

“Daddy, can we go to O’s house?” He shouted as he jumped down from my arms and ran to Blake who was standing behind us. Seeing him made my heart jump.

I was happy to see him, but I had convinced myself that being around him was a bad idea, which it was. I had no room in my life anymore for the wonder and uncertainty that relationships brought. I didn't need it or want it.

“Well,” Blake paused, looking at me, “ I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as Octavia is okay with it.” he said, keeping my gaze held in place.

Noah ran back to me and pulled on the bottom of my dress, which happened to already be low cut. I grabbed his hand and told him that, of course, he could come over, and he could help me put up my new decorations.

They both followed me back home. When I got out of my car, I opened my door to get all of my bags out, when I felt him standing behind me. He slightly grabbed my elbow.

“Let me get them for you,” he said quietly.

I turned to look at him and saw his facial expression. His brows were pulled together and he looked upset. I hadn't seen him look like that and it threw me off. My breath hitched as he reached around me and grabbed the bags out of my car, closing the door. Apparently, I had left the front door unlocked, because it was wide open and Noah was already inside calling for us to come in. It made me smile. Blake sat all of my bags on the kitchen counter, I grabbed the bag that held the decorations and handed it to Noah.

“Okay mister”. I said “ I’m trusting you with these, you can put them anywhere you want, just make sure it looks good”. I winked at him

Blake and I watched as Noah placed decorations all over the house, on the coffee table, on the couch, under my TV and in front of the fireplace. That one would need to be moved or it would probably melt. I took a seat on the couch, still watching as Blake took a seat beside me, closer than I would have liked. But I could feel his body heat, and smell this cologne. It was heavenly.

“How have you been?” he asked me. I could feel his eyes watching me.

“Good. You?” I didn't mean to sound rude when I answered, but I didn't want to meet his eyes, so I paid attention to Noah.

“Are you okay? What's wrong with you?” This time his voice held judgment and sounded harsher than I had ever heard it. I turned to meet his eyes this time,

“I didn't hear from you” I said, “and you two are the only people I know here. It was hard not to have you guys around. And I get it, I can’t have kids, but that does mean you just need to write me off Blake”. I felt bad as soon as I said it.

He flinched, then leaned closer to me. His eyebrows still pinched together, but his eyes looked confused, which confused me.

“Octavia” he said, my name barely loud enough to hear, but it gave me the chills.

“That’s not what is going on, I promise you”. He grabbed my hand and scooted closer to me.

“When you told me about what happened to you at the hospital, I thought you didn't want any kids, or that you had no interest in them” He paused and squeezed my hand. “And I have thought about you everyday since then, but Octavia” He paused again and looked over at Noah, with so much love in his eyes.

“ I have a son, and he’s not going anywhere. I felt so strongly about you, but I can't do anything about that if you don't want to be involved with children. He is my whole life”, He said while still watching Noah, but my eyes were still on him.

He still looked sad, almost like he could cry. But he kept himself composed trying not to show any emotion.

“Blake…” I wasn't sure what to say. I had told myself over and over that this was a bad idea, that I shouldn’t catch feelings for anyone. But hearing what he said made me want to hug him and tell him it was all a mistake and that we should be together. I was truly at a loss for words but he turned to look at me, and I felt like an awful person for making him feel like I didn't already love Noah.

“ I’m so sorry, that you thought that's what I meant” I paused, turning my body towards him and holding both of my hands over his.

“I have always wanted children, I only accepted that I would never have one of my own. That doesn't mean that I don't love Noah. He’s an amazing kid, and he's smart and he is just like you. What not to love about him” I watched Blake, and I saw him start to smile, which made me smile in return. I didn't want to, but I wanted to be with him. To start my new journey in life with him and Noah, and to never be apart from them. He had broken down all my walls so fast, but I wasn’t scared of what might happen. All I ever felt around Blake was safe. I spoke again to fill the silence that had been stuck between us.

“I don’t want you to ever feel like I wouldn't love Noah as if he was my own child” I said

He looked at me for a few seconds more, then one of his arms wrapped around my waist as the other one grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me into him. His lips slammed into mine with all of his force. And I met his lips back with so much want and need, more than I ever felt in my life. My hands snaked around the sides of his head, burying themselves in his hair. It felt like drinking water after being in the desert for years. He leaned his head back to look at me before looking down at my lips. I heard a growl come from him as he bent his head down to kiss me again. His sounds made my hunger grow. I opened my lips and allowed his tongue to explore inside my lips.

“EWWW KISSING IS SO GROSS”

We ripped apart from each other and saw Noah looking at us from across the living room, and hearing his giggles. We looked at each other and laughed at one another. Blake got up and asked Noah to show him where he had placed all of his new decorations. I sat alone for a few minutes while waiting for them to come back. I decided to put the rest of my groceries away while the boys came back in the room and Blake turned on the TV for Noah, louder than it needed to be.

I heard him round the corner into the kitchen and he walked up behind me. He pushed all my hair to one side and was kissing his way down my neck. I could feel liquid pooling between my legs, and needed him to stop. I tried pushing him away but he held me in place. Hungrily nipping at my neck, a small moan escaped my mouth without permission and he took that as a sign to keep going. He moved his hands to the bottom of my dress and slipped it underneath, finding my hardened n*****s ready to be touched. He pinch and pulled before whipping me around to face him. His mouth caught mine again and he pushed his tongue into my mouth with a groan. I felt him press his hips against mine so hard that it was almost painful. I gasped and then he stopped. Barely touching my lips, his hands cupping my ass.

“Don't stop,” I moaned in a whisper. He growled at my words and kissed me again, softly and more gently than he had before. It made my heart jump.

“Let me take you on a date”, He let out, as if trying to stop himself. It made me smile.

Typically, I didn't have s*x with anyone until I had known them for a while, but he was a bad influence. I had been so set on not being with anyone, but he changed my mind so quickly and made me feel like I needed him in my life.

He backed away from me and looked me up and down, my dress still half way up my stomach as I tried pulling it down.

“How about tomorrow? 8:00? I can have my sister watch Noah” he said, still watching me carefully.

“I’ll wait for you” I said quieter than I meant to.

Noah came around the kitchen corner and announced that he was tired, that was Blakes que. He kissed me goodbye and Noah came to give me a hug. After that, they left.

I decided to eat, then hopped in the shower. As I undressed, I looked at myself more than I normally would have. I had lost a lot of weight and you can tell, not in a positive way. I had let stress and grieving get in the way of me taking care of myself, but it was time to start thinking about it more. I got in the shower and washed my hair. Once I was done, I got out and changed into clothes to sleep in. I plugged my phone in when I saw a message from who I assume was Blake,

‘Be ready tomorrow. If you’re lucky, maybe we can finish what we started’

How did he get my number? I mean, I didn't know he had it but it made sense why I was only now hearing from him. He thought I wanted nothing to do with them.

I typed back: ‘If I’m lucky? I think you mean if you are;)’

‘Dress nice’ he said back,and I let it end there.

I decided to call my mom. I had told her I would call her when I got settled and never did. I dialed her number and after the first ring she picked up.

“Octavia!” She yelled “ Oh my gosh I miss you so much! How is it out there? Do you like it so far?”

“It’s actually going really well!” I told her that I would send pictures of the house and everything I had gotten so far and then she paused.

“Have you gone out yet? Have you been able to meet anyone?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to tell her about Blake yet, so I told her about the guy I had met at the coffee shop.

“And it was crazy mom, he already knew who I was-” She interrupted me and said “ Wait, how did he know who you were?” s**t.

Well, I guess it wouldn't do any harm to tell her. I told her about how we met at the realtors office, and how I met his son. And how they had come over to help me decorate, and help with the furniture.

“Well, he sounds like a good guy.” She said, “ when are you going to see him again?”

“Uh, he actually asked me to go out with him tomorrow night. But I don't know what we’re doing, all he did was tell me to dress nicely.”

She squeaked on the other end of the phone and asked me what I was going to wear. After much debate, she told me I needed to wear what I wore to my aunt's wedding, which was a silk red dress, with spaghetti straps that went right below my knees.

“Okay, well, call me tomorrow and tell me all about it” she told me. Afterwards, we said goodbye and I drifted off to sleep.