Intertwined souls

Wood

I woke up the next morning from the sunrise coming in through my window. I wasn’t sure when Blake would be coming to pick me up but I wanted to make sure I looked more presentable then I did the day before. It would feel good to actually get ready, and feel like I looked good. The past few months I have been too busy or never had time to feel good about myself and look good. I hopped in the shower and when I got out I blow dried my hair, then curled it.My blonde hair always looked better curled, it was light but had some spots of a darker blonde to it and went to about the middle of my back.

I never really was a person for makeup, but I always wore eyelashes that stayed on for a couple of weeks at a time. Luckily, I had done them before I left, so they were still going strong. I walked into my closet and my favorite pair of jeans, black with holes all down the legs.

I looked around for a top but just decided to wear a slate-blue colored Tshirt that I tucked in the front. After I made a coffee, I slipped my shoes on and went outside. It was a little chilly, but so perfect and beautiful. I sat down and appreciated everything that had gotten me here. I knew it was time to leave my home in Utah, but it was hard. I had spent so long trying to be worthy of someone and find love. Although as if I was missing something, no one ever stood by me when they found out I couldn't have kids.

My last boyfriend, Colton, almost killed me. I had so much faith in my relationship with him, we had been together for 3 years, and he knew that kids were something I could never give him, but he stayed longer than anyone else ever had. That was until I found out that he was only staying because he had been cheating on me with someone.

Someone that I had actually known for years. Her name was Maddison and we had been best friends since middle school. Our first date was a double date that we had done together. We graduated high school together, and she had supported me when I had been in the hospital. So I’m sure you can imagine how hard it was for me to find out that they had been sleeping together. I lost a lot more than a boyfriend that day.

A couple of months after we broke up, my dad had gotten in a car accident and all the doctors said was that they couldn't help him. My parents had been divorced for years, but my parents always stayed best friends. I couldn’t stand to look at my mom or my brother knowing there was nothing I could do to help them. That's when I knew I needed to start somewhere fresh, with no memories or anything from my past.

I set my mug down and was about to stand up when I heard a truck coming down my driveway. As they pulled up to the house, I saw Blake’s smile plastered all over his face. I watched him as he jumped out, as much as I didn't want to admit it, he looked great. I wasn't looking for anything, nor did I want to put myself through another relationship again, but it was okay to look, right?

He had on dark blue jeans with a loose gray V-Neck shirt on. It didn't leave much to the imagination. I watched as he got Noah out of the truck and you could see the muscles flexing underneath his shirt and it was hard to look away from him. Blake picked up Noah out of the truck, and carried him over to me, both of them watching me with happy eyes.

“ Hi Miss.. umm” Noah giggled and whispered to his dad: “ I forgot how to say it” he said quietly, it was cute and it made me laugh. I touched Noah's arm and laughed.

“It’s okay! You can just call me O'', I said to him. He jumped down from his dad's arms and went to play around in the yard as we watched him.

“ So, I figured before we went shopping we could take you to the best breakfast spot in town”, Blake smiled, as I turned to look at him.

I hadn't noticed how close we were standing to each other. I wanted to back away but my body stayed in its place. I couldn't pull myself away, as we were looking at one another.

“ I would love that, I didn't have a chance to go shopping yesterday before we got here” I said, still holding his gaze.

I wanted to touch him, and feel his warmth against me in the chill air. As if he knew what I was thinking, he took a step closer to me and wrapped his arms around me, placing his jacket over my shoulders. He grabbed the back of my elbow and led me to his truck, opened the door, then closed it after I got in.

He chased after Noah for a few minutes before catching him in a fit of giggles, then clipped him into his car seat.

I had never spent time with a man who had a kid before. I always thought it would make me bitter. But instead it was almost endearing. It warmed my heart to see how much love Blake had for him, and how he seemed to be so close to Noah. And how Noah looked up at him with his wide eyes.

We drove for ten to fifteen minutes before pulling into a small little restaurant called ‘ The Original Pancake House’.

I waited for Blake to get Noah out of the truck and as soon as Noah's feet hit the ground he ran to me and held out his little hand. I grabbed it and winked at him while we walked, Blake standing tall behind me. We sat at our table and I felt everyone's eyes on me, it felt like a heavy weight on my shoulders, and I suddenly felt vulnerable. Typically, that was something I wouldn't deal with. I wanted to get up and walk out to avoid it. Looking towards the exits, I felt Blakes hand cover mine on the table, I looked up and caught him looking at me with what seemed to be concern.

“ Are you okay?” he whispered to me.

“ Yeah, just not used to people watching me,” I said, darting my eyes around the room. He squeezed my hand so lightly that I almost missed it and said -

“ It’s a small town, most of these people have known me since I was a kid” He paused and looked around the room slowly and then back at me.

“I don’t normally have a beautiful woman with me when I'm out in public” he smirked.

It was just words, but his words made a shiver run down my whole body, and I had never felt anything like it. Then, suddenly, I was more aware of his hand still on mine, and his eyes watching me. They felt like the only ones in the room.

“ Look daddy!! I’m finished”. Noah said, we broke our gaze and looked over to the picture he had been coloring on his menu.

As we waited for the waiter to come and take our orders, I sat in silence and listened to Blake and Noah’s conversation about his drawing. Blake gave him a high-five as the waiter came up and took our order.

“ Alpha, anything else I can get you? “ The waiter questioned, looking towards Blake but not directly at him. The waiter's choice of words threw me off, but I didn't think much of it.

After we got our food, we all ate in silence. Blake was right, this food was amazing, and I liked that it was close to my house. I really was never a cook, so it was nice to know I had something good close.

We finished eating, got back in the truck, and headed to where Blake said we could look at furniture, or anything else I needed for the house. As we stopped at alight, I felt Blake's eyes on me again. It was a heavy feeling, but it didn't feel bad. It felt safe. He picked up my hand and was looking at the two rings I had on my middle and pointer finger. My Dad had given them to me a few years before he passed away, ever since then I haven't taken them off.

“I like them” he said, winking at me.

We arrived at the furniture store and when we walked in, Blake took Noah to what looked like a kids' section before meeting me back in one of the isles. Beds, dressers, and nightstands were on each side of the aisle. All set up to look like their own small rooms.

We walked for a while without talking before he stopped me and said

“So what are you looking for? What kind of style do you want?” He paused, then looked at me. “ I know the owner, so if there isn't anything here, we might be able to order some for you.” He smiled at me before starting to walk again. I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“Of course you know the owner,” I said, still laughing. He looked at me funny and started to say something, then stopped himself.

“So, I don't really know anything about you” he said, still looking away from me.

“ Well” I said, “Umm, I’m from Utah, I have one brother, and he’s a couple years younger than me.” I paused.

I didn't really know what he wanted to know. I was never any good at talking about myself or explaining things. Usually all I would do is talk about my family, but lately that has been harder than it used to be.

“ I mean you’re alone, so I’m taking it you're not married”, he asked, still looking away from me.

“No, I’m not married. And you're alone, so I’m taking it you’re not seeing anyone?” We had both stopped walking and I was facing away from him, pretending to look at a bed set that was in front of me.

Honestly, I didn’t know if I really wanted to know the answer. I would feel like such an i***t if, this whole time, he was married. Before I could tell him that I shouldn't have asked, he started walking towards me and stopped right behind me. I could feel his eyes on me and feel how close he was. I had to stop myself from backing into him. Suddenly, he lowered his head right to my ear.

“ If I was married, you would know” he stood there for a second while taking a deep breath, then walked away.

We kept walking until I found a set that I liked. It matched the house but was still different enough to stand on its own. It was a crisp white color with wooden trims and handles on the dressers. It looked completely different to what I would have chosen in the past, which is why I loved it so much. I waited as they pulled ones from the back and loaded them into Blakes truck. I watched him help them load everything up, seeing him lift dressers, headboards, and nightstands with ease. It was attractive watching him do it so easily when the other men were struggling. And I wouldn't have been able to look away, but he caught my gaze. And before I looked away, I saw him smirking, which made a smile creep onto my own face.

I was still standing at the desk waiting to pay when I felt his hand on my arm. I had been waiting while he was helping but no one ever came up to help me.

“ Are you ready to go? If we leave now, we should be able to set it up before it’s dark” he said, still holding my arm.

“ Well, we can leave as soon as someone comes up here to help me check out”. As soon as the words left my lips, he started laughing. He leaned his back on the counter in front of me so our faces were only inches apart.

“Remember how I said I knew the owner?” He asked me with a teasing look on his face.

“Well yeah, but what does that have to do with me?” I asked, staring back at him. He leaned closer to me so only I could hear what he was saying, close to my ear.

It made me shiver and let my breath out that I'd been holding in.

“ You're looking at him” He said before he walked away from me so abruptly that I felt cold as his body heat left mine.

I almost couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. Why would he of all people own a furniture store? He didn’t really come across as a home decor guru. I looked around for him and saw him talking to one of the men, as they both turned to look at me.

I walked over to the kids' section and picked up Noah. We held hands as we walked back over to the truck where Blake was waiting for us. He was looking directly at me, with a smile on his face that seemed genuine. He seemed relieved. Blake bent down to pick up Noah and put him in his carseat, but Blake was interrupted.

“ No daddy, I want O to help me,” Noah said, rubbing his eyes like any second he would fall asleep. It was so cute that I couldn’t help myself.

I grabbed Noah from Blake's arms and helped him into his carseat, clipping him in. Blake watched me then opened the truck door for me.

“He likes you a lot,” Blake said, which made me happy. I didn't have any younger kids in my family back home. I had never realized until now that it felt like it was something I’d been missing.

“ I’m glad, he’s a great kid” , smiling at him. “Can I ask about his mom, is she around?” I was hesitant to ask but I wanted to know.

“No” he looked sad as he said. “There were some complications with her, she isn't around.”

“I’m so sorry Blake. I shouldn’t have asked”. I looked back at Noah in his carseat. He was sleeping, and he looked peaceful.

“It’s okay, it seems like we both have things we don't like to talk about” He looked at me this time when he spoke and when I looked back at him I felt a new sense of respect for him.

He reached over the center console and grabbed my hand. Without hesitating, I grabbed his, then covered it with my free hand, and we sat like that the rest of the way back to my house.

When we arrived, it was around 6:00 and the sun was already starting to set. After telling him multiple times that it wasn't necessary, Blake unloaded all of the furniture and started helping me build it. While he was unloading it, I took Noah out of his carseat. He clung to me as I took him into my bedroom and laid him on the air mattress I had slept on. I covered him in my blankets before walking back out of the room. I looked away from Noah and saw Blake standing in the doorway watching me.

“Thank you” he said, reaching his hand and grabbing mine, he pulled against his body and wrapped his arms around me. I had never felt so connected to someone in such a short amount of time. I leaned into him. I could smell his cologne, it was a strong, woodsy smell. I reveled in it and we stood there with our bodies pressed against one another. I felt one of his hands move from my lower back up to the back of my neck and hold me there. He pulled his face away and his eyes looked into mine. I wanted so badly to kiss him, but as secure as I felt, I still felt like it was too soon. Never trust anyone was my motto, but he was making it very hard to hold myself accountable. I took a deep breath and broke away from his grasp.

“We can start on that furniture now, but I’m just letting you know, I’ll be asking you lots of questions” I tried to say jokingly, but he was still staring at me like he wanted me to stay where I was.

I felt the pit in my stomach start to grow as he pulled me back against his chest and grabbed the side of my face. He leaned down to meet my lips, only barely touching mine. But I couldn't help myself and I wanted more. I could feel my body starting to melt into his, as I closed my eyes. Enjoying the feeling of his body pressed against mine. He held his lips for only a moment more before

moving to my ear and all he said was “Okay” and then he left me in the hallway and made his way to the living room.

_

I had followed him to the living room a few minutes after he left me there. I opened one of the boxes and started putting my nightstands together as he worked on my bedframe and headboard. Every so often, we would catch the other one staring at the other, but we didn't speak for a long time. Honestly, I didn't know what to say to him after almost making me come unglued in the hallway. So I was okay with the Silence. It was a little past midnight when we finished putting everything together. Everything but the bed frame, we quietly moved into the bedroom so we didn't wake up Noah.

“Can I get you anything” I offered, even though all I really had was water or coffee.

“ I’ll take some water,” he said.

After I got him some water, we took a seat outside on my front porch and watched the stars. After a while, he broke the silence. He started by standing up and getting below me, standing on the grass.

“I know I’ve already asked you, but I figured maybe this time you could actually answer instead of brushing it off since you know I’m not a bad guy”, he smirked at me before walking more in front of me.

“What are you doing here?” He said quietly, as if not to scare me with the question.

“Well, I didnt brush you off when I said I needed a change of scenery” I paused, waiting for his reaction.

His face was emotionless, nothing changed, so I continued. I would’ve never talked to anyone about this but I felt almost obligated to tell him because of how much he’d helped me, and the kindness he had shown me.

“ A few years ago I ended up in the hospital. They told me that I had a thyroid condition which would prevent me from ever having kids. I had always pictured myself with kids, but it was not an option for me anymore. I dated a few people here and there but almost as soon as I told them, they left. Until I met Colton, my ex. He knew from the beginning that I couldn't have kids and he told me it was okay, that loving me was worth the sacrifice”. I stopped and took a drink of my coffee. Blake moved forward, standing in between my legs and placing a hand on my thigh. He looked sad, which made me keep going. I felt a sense of safety again.

“We dated for three years. And it took me three years to finally realize that he was okay with it, because he had been sleeping with my best friend. He wasn't worried about anything. long term with me because he had her” I took a deep breath before I continued, placing my hand on top of his.

“We broke up, obviously, as soon as I found out. I’ve never talked to him again after that. But last year on my birthday, I got a call while I was out with friends. My dad got in a car accident. I got to the hospital as fast as I could, but I was too late. The doctors told me and my mom that there was nothing they could do for him. He had gotten hit head on by a drunk driver”. I stopped before the water in my eyes started falling down my face. I took a deep breath and looked into his eyes that still hadn't left mine.

“So, I decided I needed a break, a fresh start somewhere new with no strings attached. And I kinda just picked this house and moved here” I said, trying to stretch a smile across my face.

He stepped closer to me and wrapped me in a hug. His body heat made me realize that I had been shivering from the cold outside air.

I felt like I could breathe when he was holding me, like it was easier, safer. I hadn't talked to anyone about going through any of that. Not even my mom, who I had always been so close with. After my dad died, I felt like I had to be strong for her so she could grieve. If I wasn't, I knew she would never heal.

He leaned his head down and kissed my forehead before tightening his arms around me and holding me for longer.

Eventually, his hold on me loosened and he led me back inside. Once I stood up, I realized how sleepy I had gotten. I was exhausted, but being with him felt like I was energized,his energy was keeping me awake and functioning.

“ I guess we should have gotten you a couch” he said as he led me to the bedroom.

“ No,” I laughed. “ You did enough for me. Thank you by the way. You didn't need to do all of that. You barely know me” he said as he sat me at the end of the bed. He kneeled down so his face was inches from mine.

“ I know you well enough hun”, he said, brushing the hair out of my face.

“ I was happy to help you, and I will continue to”. He looked down and started taking off my shoes, then went to my closet and found a change of clothes to sleep in.

“We’re gonna get going, do you need anything else?” he asked quietly.

“ No, I’m okay. Thank you again for everything” I said.

I wanted him to tell me that he would be back tomorrow. To know that I would see him again. But instead, he picked Noah up off the bed.

“You’re Welcome Octavia”, he said, then he took Noah, and walked out the front door.

I sat in silence for a few moments before locking the front door and changing into the clothes he had pulled out for me. My house felt cold and more empty than it ever had. I didn’t want him to leave, but what was I going to do ? Ask him to stay? No, that doesn’t make any sense to me. I had only known him for two days and I needed to separate myself before it was too late. But I couldn’t understand why I felt such a strong connection to him, why I didn't want him to leave, and why I felt so calm around him. Everything felt easier when he was next to me and now that he was gone, I felt like I had something to worry about. Even though I knew I didn't, I was being irrational. I took my hair out of its ponytail and laid down, still thinking about Blake, I fell into the most restful sleep I had in years.