Down The Rabbit Hole Of Love

The Beginning of The End

The next couple of months were intense. Things started getting better at home with the kids because I was home in the evenings. Mickey had gotten an apartment with a friend of his on the Gold Coast of Chicago. I was making good money at the restaurant. Mickey and I both decided to start doing things differently. We spent time with my boys. He was making more of an effort with his kids, instead of just crying about it while we were drunk. I finally convinced him to get a job working at another restaurant. Mickey and I were falling in love. I no longer felt beneath him, his facade had changed, and everyone we knew saw it and was talking about the improved Shannon and Mickey combo.

My kids and I got invited to Rosey’s son’s birthday party. I was so excited. I felt radiant that day. My kids were going to meet Mickey’s and Rosey’s kids for the first time. I felt like I was becoming part of a family. As we were walking up to Rosey’s house, Mickey decided to tell me that his crazy baby mama would be there. I was pissed that he waited until the last minute to tell me this. My entire persona changed. I walked through that door anyway. As soon as we walked in, Mickey disappeared with his daughter he hadn’t seen in a few months. I stood there uncomfortable as f**k because I didn’t know anyone except Rosey, and she was busy entertaining her company. I had no idea what to expect from his crazy baby momma, so I left.

I walked down to mine and Mickey’s favorite bar. I was there for about twenty minutes when Mickey walked in the door, mad that I had left the party. We argued as we walked the five blocks back to the party. Before showing up, we took a detour to the gangway. He pushed me up against the brick wall of an apartment building and began kissing me in hopes of shutting me up. I immediately got turned on and began grabbing his, now-hard d**k. Luckily, I was wearing a skirt that day. I unzipped his pants as he slid my panties to the side. He slid his d**k inside of me and we both almost instantaneously had an orgasm. That made me forget why I was mad in the first place.

When we arrived back at the party, Rosey was destroying the backyard. She had flipped the grill and the table that had all the food on it. Everyone was scrambling to leave. I’m not sure what happened while we were gone, but the party was over. Rosey was being rushed to the hospital; she had sliced her hand after smashing a glass liquor bottle during her rage. Mickey and I took the kids to the park for a while. About an hour later, Rosey called and told us to go back to her house. When we got there, it was Rosey, her husband Gino, Mickey’s crazy baby momma Breanna, and Breanna’s new boyfriend. I heard a lot about Breanna from Mickey, Rosey, and other mutual friends. What I knew about her was that she was short-tempered, and every time she was around, a fight broke out one way or another. I walked up to her and introduced myself. She was hesitant to respond, but she politely introduced herself back. We sat around the backyard drinking and playing cards. At first, I felt awkward, but the more we drank, the easier it was to hang out with them. Eventually, Mickey and Breanna start reminiscing and sharing stories about their past. That night was wild; we all sat around talking s**t about Mickey. Rosey and I would randomly disappear and make out in the bathroom. Her husband, Gino, would flirt with me when no one else was in the room. The night ended abruptly after Breanna, and I started arguing. She started talking about how Mickey would always be a lame piece of s**t. I stood up for Mickey. I was trying to explain to her that he was different now, but she was argumentative, so I veered away from the conversation, and we left shortly after that.

Mickey and I were still planning our future together, not knowing it was all about to end. It was July 2nd. I woke up like it was a typical workday. Mickey had spent the night at my house, so when I woke up, he was there. I got ready for work, kissed him, and walked out. As soon as I opened the downstairs door, I noticed I had the boot on my car from all the tickets Mickey had accumulated while I was allowing him to use my car when I first started working mornings at the restaurant. I ran upstairs mad as f**k. I called my son to get a ride to work. Mickey and I were trying to sell a little coke because we planned to move in November when my lease was up and needed some extra money to do so. I knew one of the ladies I worked with did coke, so I brought a fifty bag to try to sell her. Shortly after getting to work, Mickey messaged me and told me it would be 1,200 dollars to get the boot off of my car. I had been on the job for a while, and the owner liked me. I asked him if I could borrow the money. He said he would let me know later in the day. Meanwhile, I told Shelly about the fifty bag of coke I had for sale. She said she’d buy it from me after work. Ten minutes went by, and I got called into the office by the owner. I thought it would be about the money I asked to borrow. When I walked into his office, Shelly and the manager were there. The owner cleared his throat and asked me if I was selling illegal drugs out of his establishment. Of course, I said no. I turned to look at Shelly. If looks could kill, she would have died that day. The owner looked at Shelly and asked her, “Did Shannon try and sell you cocaine in my restaurant?” That cunt ass b***h said yes. I probably could have kept my job, but I was so mad I called her a lying f*****g b***h, and the manager asked me to get all my things and leave. I was an hour away from my house, car-less and now jobless, sitting on a curb crying hysterically.

Gardo picked me up and took me home. Mickey was there trying to figure out how to get the boot off my car. I called my youngest sister Carmella, who had a car, to come and help us figure it out. My Aunt Betty, who always came through when I was in any monetary crisis, helped me with the money to get the boot off, but the DMV was closed by the time she got the money to me. So, Mickey and I were car-less for the night. This memory of Mickey still makes me tear up because we made love for the first time that night. We poured our souls out to each other, admitting that we were, in fact, in love. We took a long romantic walk to the liquor store, genuinely enjoying each other and proud of who we were becoming together. That night was priceless. It made all those nights that Mickey and I would fight and argue worth it. I proved everyone who doubted Mickey and me wrong. We would get the car back the next day, and life would be great, so we thought.

The next day still feels like a f*****g dream. We woke up cranky, dreading this mission we were about to embark on. It was July 3rd and hot as f**k outside. We had to take public transportation to the DMV. When we got there, Mickey went across the street to get something to drink while I took care of business. I went to pay for the boot to be removed. The lady at the front desk told me my car had been towed for sitting too long with the boot. I was upset, hot, and crabby. I went back to tell Mickey, who was also hot and cranky. Fortunately, my sister and her boyfriend were available again to help us. My car was clear across the city, in the pound, which would have taken Mickey and me six hours on bus or train. We finally got my car out of the impound. We parked Carmella’s car and jumped in mine because I had air conditioning. We went to the lake to swim and enjoy the rest of that beautiful July day. Our crabbiness was gone, and life was great again.

Our plan after the lake was to drive around, drinking like we usually did. We stopped at a liquor store and grabbed a bottle of Jack and eight Monaco’s. In my car, we had two fifty-dollar bags of cocaine and some unbottled Adderall. We're cruising the city. About halfway through the bottle of Jack, we all saw the lights behind us. We were getting pulled over. I looked at Mickey, and he was about to cry. I whispered to him that I loved him as he rolled down the window for the police officer. We both knew what was coming. Tears were streaming down my face as Mickey was being handcuffed and put in the back of a police car. The three of us sat there waiting for the officer to search the vehicle. We were extremely blessed because there was a shooting nearby while this was going on. The officers let us go drunk and without searching the car. As we drove off, I started crying hysterically. I went home and cried myself into the morning. I felt as though I had just lost my whole life. I wanted it so badly for it to be a horrible dream, but it was my reality. The one I fell in love with, Mickey, was back in jail with a two-year sentence. I was left feeling like half of me had died. Hopeless and defeated.