Chapter Four: The Things I Don’t Feel
1127 Words
By lunch, I was done.
Completely done.
“I swear, if one more person asks me about him—”
“About who?”
I didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was.
Jason.
Of course.
I kept walking, tray in hand. “You.”
“Didn’t know I was that popular.”
“You’re not,” I said quickly. “People are just… bored.”
“Right.”
We stepped into the cafeteria—and just like that, the noise dipped.
Not completely.
But enough.
I clenched my jaw.
“This is exactly what I mean,” I muttered.
Jason glanced around, unfazed as usual. “You’ll get used to it.”
“I don’t want to get used to it.”
“Too bad.”
I rolled my eyes and headed toward my usual table. My friends were already there, but the second they saw me—
They weren’t looking at me.
They were looking past me.
At him.
“Okay,” my friend Maya said slowly, leaning forward. “You did not tell me your house guest looks like that.”
“He’s not my house guest,” I said quickly, dropping into my seat.
Jason sat beside me.
Again.
I shot him a look. “There are other seats.”
“I like this one.”
“Of course you do.”
Maya kicked me lightly under the table. “Are you going to introduce us or just sit there being weird?”
I sighed. “This is Jason.”
“Hi,” she said, suddenly way too nice.
Jason gave a small nod. “Hey.”
“That’s it?” she whispered to me. “That’s all you’re giving us?”
“Yes,” I whispered back. “Because that’s all there is.”
“Mm-hmm,” she said, clearly not believing me.
I ignored her.
Tried to, anyway.
Because across the cafeteria—
A group of girls were staring.
Not subtly.
Not quietly.
One of them smiled.
At him.
And then—
She stood up.
“Oh no,” I muttered.
“What?” Maya asked.
“Watch.”
The girl walked straight toward our table, confident like she’d done this a hundred times before. Long hair, perfect smile, the kind of person who knew people were watching her.
She stopped right in front of Jason.
“Hey,” she said.
Jason looked up. “Hey.”
“I don’t think I’ve seen you before,” she continued, leaning slightly on the table. “You’re new, right?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m Chloe.”
Of course she was.
Jason nodded once. “Jason.”
She smiled wider. “I figured.”
I stared down at my food, stabbing it a little harder than necessary.
Why was I even listening?
This had nothing to do with me.
Nothing.
“So,” Chloe said, twirling a strand of her hair, “are you sitting with them… or can I steal you for a bit?”
I froze.
Maya froze.
The entire table froze.
Jason didn’t answer immediately.
And for some reason—
My chest tightened.
Just slightly.
Not enough to matter.
Just enough to notice.
He glanced at me.
Just for a second.
Then back at her.
“I’m good,” he said.
Simple.
Calm.
Final.
Chloe blinked, clearly not used to that answer. “You’re sure?”
“Yeah.”
Her smile faltered for a split second—but she recovered quickly. “Alright,” she said lightly. “Maybe next time.”
“Maybe,” he replied.
She walked away.
And the second she did—
Maya leaned across the table. “Okay, what just happened?”
“Nothing,” I said quickly.
“That was not nothing,” she said. “She literally just tried to steal him.”
“And?” I shrugged. “Not my problem.”
“Really?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes. Really.”
I focused on my food again, pretending I didn’t feel anything.
Because I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
And even if I did—
It wouldn’t matter.
Right?
“Funny,” Jason said quietly beside me.
I didn’t look at him. “What is?”
“You said you don’t care.”
“I don’t.”
“Didn’t say you did.”
I turned to him, narrowing my eyes. “Then what are you implying?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re annoying.”
“So you’ve said.”
I looked away again, my grip tightening slightly on my fork.
This was ridiculous.
Completely ridiculous.
Why would I care who talks to him?
Why would I care if other girls like him?
Why would I care—
“Relax,” he said suddenly.
“I am relaxed.”
“No, you’re not.”
I shot him a look. “Stop acting like you know me.”
He held my gaze for a second.
Too long.
Then—
“Maybe I’m starting to.”
My heart skipped.
Just once.
And I hated that it did.
The rest of the day didn’t get any better.
If anything—
It got worse.
Because now, it wasn’t just whispers.
It was rumors.
“Did you hear? They live together.”
“Wait, seriously?”
“Yeah.”
“No way.”
I walked faster, trying to ignore it.
But it followed.
Everywhere.
And somehow—
So did he.
Right beside me.
Like this was normal.
Like we were normal.
“You’re quiet,” Jason said as we stepped outside.
“I’m thinking.”
“About?”
“Ways to survive this.”
He almost smiled.
Almost.
“Good luck with that.”
I shook my head, heading toward the car. “This is your fault, by the way.”
“How?”
“You exist.”
“Yeah, that’s usually how it works.”
I stopped walking, turning to face him. “Everything was fine before you got here.”
“Was it?”
“Yes.”
He looked at me for a second.
Like he didn’t believe me.
Like he could see right through it.
And for some reason—
That made my chest feel tight again.
“You keep telling yourself that,” he said quietly.
I frowned. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” he said, stepping closer—not too close, just enough—“things don’t change for no reason.”
For a second, I couldn’t speak.
Couldn’t move.
Because he was right there.
And the air felt… different again.
He stepped back first.
Of course he did.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go.”
And just like that—
The moment was gone.
But the feeling?
That didn’t go anywhere.
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