The Imperial Warrior

Chapter 3- False Confidence

Kyle decided to walk back home. If he could run all the way there, he could definitely walk back home. That way he had some time to arrange his thoughts as well. He didn't really remember anything that had happened; the last thing he did was take some aspirin and then nothing. He remembered how he felt though. A feeling of power so intense that he wanted to destroy everything in his way.

Destruction was a man's first instinct. Even as a child, the pleasure of killing was embedded since his birth. He felt it upon killing something as tiny and helpless as a beetle. Only after he grew up, and was taught the rights and wrongs of the world, did he realize that feeling joy in having such power was dangerous. Too much of anything was.

Kyle was terrified because he had loved every second of it. He wanted more of it, of that power, that rush of adrenaline but he still didn't know why that had happened. His body was buzzing with this flush of energy and so was his mind. He was excited to tell Anya about this but also scared because he himself didn't have an explanation for any of it. And what would he tell her when she would ask why he had run away, especially when she needed him the most. Questions and questions but answers none.

It was getting dark, a few stars were becoming visible, getting brighter by the minute. A joy of homecoming, he always thought that whenever the stars were visible- as long as the stars were visible, things would be alright.

He looked up and started talking to his mother. That's where he believed she was now. That's where he believed everyone went after they died. He told her about the tempest in his head. How helpless he had felt after looking at Anya on the terrace that day, and today again, when she had turned to Alex because he wasn't there for her. The guilt, the pain, the hurt- all of it.

At the same time, he also realized that he was getting tired now and his eyes had already lost their moment of extraordinary vision. In fact, he was getting a headache again. He needed to get home before his dad, he put his hand in his pocket to remove his phone only to find out that he had forgotten it at home, neither was he wearing his watch. He hurried his pace the best he could but he was still too late.

By the time he reached the curve of his street, it was nightfall. His dad's car was already parked outside the house. He thought of a story to make up for his absence but when he saw the door of his house, it didn't matter. None of it did.

The door handle was missing, and so was a lot of the wood, it looked like someone had hastily cleaned the floor beneath because neat lines of sawdust were arranged near the wall. Kyle immediately called out, "Anya! Dad! What happened here?"

Both of them were sitting on the couch, Anya had a bag of ice in her hand and was gently applying it to her arm. Kyle's eyes almost popped out of their sockets, "Anya! Are you hurt? Was there a burglary?" Anya looked at him with a quizzical expression.

"You don't remember, do you? Or are you just pretending that you don't?" A voice came from the kitchen. It was Alex, he sounded strange. His voice had an edge to it.

"What are you talking about, Alex?"

"Oh my god, you really don't remember." It wasn't a question this time but an accusation. "You Kyle, you did that to her when you shoved her off. You did that to the door. Where have you been all this while?"

Kyle looked at Anya. Had he really hurt her; the only good thing is his life. And why would he, he just couldn't, not even if he wanted to. His entire body would revolt against that thought. Anya was looking down; she had kept the ice on the coffee table. She was rubbing her good arm feverishly against her thigh and was carefully avoiding his gaze. He moved closer to her and saw the extent of her injury. The forearm had swollen a good deal and five blue lines ran through them like veins. The imprint of a hand, his hand. It was him then, he had hurt her.

He looked at his father but even his face didn't give him any assurance. Ryan's face was a whole different battleground altogether.

"Kyle, it's okay. I'm fine. It hardly hurts." Anya was looking at him now, "What happened to you though?"

"I don't know. I really don't. I have completely blanked out, Anya." Ryan left the room to let them talk and he needed to figure things out anyway. Anya looked at Alex, "Hey, it's okay. You don't need to stay for me. I'll be fine now." She flashed a forced smile to him. Alex knew that's how it would always be with them, the moment Kyle came back, she wouldn't need him.

"I'm not leaving you alone with him." Anya got up and went towards Alex, she whispered something in his ear and then Alex left them alone. Not without giving Kyle a warning glace before he left.

But Kyle wasn't looking at him anymore. He was burning up with guilt at what he had done and the weight of the unknown was weighing him down. Anya sat beside him and took his hand. Kyle was so shocked at himself, and at her. How could she bear to touch him after he had hurt her? He couldn't bear himself.

"Anya, I'm so sorry Anya. I really am. I don't know what is happening. I wish I had something to explain all this," he looked at her arm.

"Oh god, I'm really sorry, Anya." He put his head in his knees and gave in. He couldn't hold them any longer. The emotions began to fall too fast to catch them. He was crying and Anya moved even closer. She hugged him, let him cry on her shoulder, as she had done so many times before. She was rubbing his back when Kyle suddenly shook and pulled back.

"No, I can't. How are you not revolted by the sight of me?"

"Kyle, you are my best friend. I have known you all my life. I know you didn't intentionally do anything."

"I hurt you. That's all I know."

"Calm down, Kyle. It's okay. I'm okay. Look at me." He looked up at her, her eyes were shining too. Once again, she was the one being strong for the both of them. He wanted to tell her that she didn't have to, that all he wanted in the world was to be her strength. If only he had it; for he knew how weak he truly was.

"Whatever is happening, we will figure it out okay."

"Stronger together?"

Kyle repeated the words but he had never felt more alone.

***

Ryan had to go. He almost ran up the stairs to his room, but he had to show that nothing was wrong so he left as fast as he could without raising suspicion. He opened the last drawer of his study, removed the false base and found her picture. There were very few times he allowed himself to see her, because even now, after seven long years, he broke down after seeing her. Her smile, it could fit the seven oceans in it. That pain was still fresh, but today, he had no other option. He had to talk to her, to figure things out.

"Jules?"

"Oh, my Jules, I'm so sorry. I thought he wouldn't turn out like me. I was sure there was more of you in him. His soul, so kind, gentle- he had to be more like you. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do."

"His hand, I saw it, Jules. The vein ran black all the way to his spine. And the door, he's already losing control. I don't know how to teach him, love. I really don't. I can barely handle myself."

There was raw desperation in Ryan's voice. When Kyle was born, all they could do was hope that he wouldn't turn out like him. And when Julianna had died and he still didn't trigger, he was almost sure that he wasn't. And now, if he was triggered so late, the consequences would be so much worse. His vein, it was completely black, but only one was so that was a good sign. He still had a little more time. But the door, and Anya's hand, Kyle would never do that if he was in his right mind. Ryan's brain was trying to take control of the situation but he knew that he had left this fight a long time ago. Even though she was dead, his promise to his wife still held. So, he had to let Kyle figure this out on his own too. All he could do was hope that he would choose to do the right thing.

"I wish you were here, Jules. You would know what to do. You were always the one with the answers, all I could do was listen to you. I was never good at anything else anyway." He was crying but he had to let it all out now, if anything happened in front of the kids, he couldn't even afford that possibility now.

"And Anya, Jules. She is so much like them, you know. She has all the good parts of Henry, and Linda never had a bad hair in her anyway. They were all the family she had, and now, I don't know what to do for her. With Kyle in this, I'll try my best but my best has never been good enough. It wasn't for you; it wasn't for Kyle and it won't be for her."

He completely let go, "I just miss you so much. Every day, I wish you were here."

No, he wouldn't do this right now. His pity party would be for another day.

"Their loss, the world will feel it. Arcane will most definitely feel it, Jules. The world will be a worse place without them.

"Kyle will do the right thing. I have faith in him. You raised him after all. I just hope he doesn't lose himself in the process.

"You will guide him, right? You have guided me all these years.

"I love you, Jules."

Ryan took a deep breath; his tears had stopped falling now. He wore his glasses again, wiped them clean and went back down.

He came down to see Kyle sleeping on the couch and Anya sitting beside him, a book in her lap, fast asleep too. He hesitantly considered waking them up for dinner but decided to let them sleep for some more time. Dinner could wait for an hour. Anyway, it was Kyle's turn cooking, so he knew nothing was ready. He started working on pasta himself.

He was cutting tomatoes when Kyle woke up to the sound of a knife against the cutting board, "Dad?"

"C'mon up."

"I'm sorry. It was my day; I can take over."

"Hey, it's okay. You can help me now."

And so, it was. Kyle knew that his father would never show his love, but in these small gestures, he meant it. They woke Anya up and had another meal, this one even more silent than the last. It was almost as if the silence had become a habit already. All Ryan could do was hope that things wouldn't go more south, but even he knew dark things were on their way, and that this was just the beginning.

***

Anya refused to listen to Kyle the next day. She had to go to school when all he wanted was to spend the day with her, help her for a change. But the girl was just as stubborn as he was. It was a stalemate.

He drove them to school and they had to go for their separate lessons. Kyle hated this, he didn't want to leave her alone for even an hour, or to be more accurate, he didn't want to be left alone. He didn't want to be at the mercy of his thoughts, or think about what was happening to him.

On his way to class, Kyle saw Anya and Alex talking in hushed tones; something was definitely up those two. They had been acting strangely, to say the least. Anya was smiling, looking at the floor, smiling in a way she didn't want anyone to see her smile but Alex knew anyway. Kyle shook his head and walked into Math class. He went and sat on his usual seat in his usual position, slumped down, back arched towards the wall. He was biting the end of his pencil when he saw a pair of blue eyes looking at him.

"Hey, I didn't see you there."

"Clearly, Mr. Patel has called out your name twice already, say present before he marks you."

Kyle looked at her and smiled, "Present, Sir."

After a minute, he leaned forward and tapped Olivia's shoulder, "Thanks for having my back, Oli. If he had seen me not paying attention for one more day, I'm sure I'd be standing out right now."

"I know." She gave a perceptive smile to him. Kyle looked at her eyes, he could have sworn there was nothing more mystifying than those eyes. They weren't the ordinary blue, they had gold specks in them, which made her look like the love child of Aphrodite and Hercules on a sunny morning.

Mr. Patel droned on about integration and Kyle did make a sincere effort to pay attention but he just couldn't; his head was still throbbing. So, when he looked up and saw that his teacher was missing, he asked Olivia, "Where did he go?"

"Kyle, what's up with you today? Weren't you listening? He gave us twenty minutes to solve these questions."

"Which questions?"

Olivia just looked at him with a curious gaze, as if Kyle was a monkey, she was observing for a science experiment. And with Olivia, you never knew, for someone of her intellect, she could be conducting an experiment as they were speaking.

"Never mind now. Take this book, and copy quickly."

"Thanks, Oli." Kyle flashed a smile again, and wondered internally how he could do that right now. In the morning, it required all his effort to even do mundane tasks, but something about Olivia just made him forget about the rest of the world. She just had such a kind aura about her, that you couldn't help but catch on to her.

"And while you are doing that, tell me, why are those guys staring at you?"

"What guys?"

Kyle looked up, his eyes met hers and then she turned her head towards her right, pointing with her eyes, "3 'o'clock." 

And indeed, there were guys pointing in his direction and talking amongst each other using vocabulary Kyle couldn't exactly decipher. He did hear the word 'Imperial' more than once.

"Well," Kyle shrugged, "Maybe they find me pretty." Kyle laughed; it was always so natural with her. Some part of him really thought that they clicked.

"Wow, I did not just say that out loud." He was still smiling, looking at her.

But Olivia was looking intently at him now, no, not at him, his arm. "Kyle! I don't think they are appreciating your male beauty."

"Bummer, I really thought he'd make a good match—"

"Look at your arm."

He looked down to his left, "No, not that. Your right hand." His hand was resting on the table, she pulled it and brought it in front of his face, her touch strong against his skin. He was still smiling when he looked but suddenly all his laughter vanished. One of the veins in his arms ran black all the way to his spine. He immediately dropped his hand, "I- I'm sorry but I have to go."

His voice was trembling, he grabbed his bag and almost ran out of the room but he saw the group staring at him again, this time without saying a word, but understanding on their faces.

He ran towards his locker and took his jacket out. He hastily wore it and was about to go to the restroom when he saw Anya walking. He ran towards her, "Anya!"

She looked lost because when she looked at him, she needed a second to answer, "Kyle? What are you doing here? Don't you have AP Calculus?"

"Long story, where are you headed?"

"The library. Why?"

"Let's go."

He decided not to tell her about his arm, she had a lot on her plate already and she worried too much. The library was at the other corner of the building and perhaps Anya's favorite place in the entire school. She was looking down and walking and Kyle could sense that something was on her mind. He wanted to wait for her to come to him at her own time, like she usually did but something in her manner told him that this time, maybe, she wouldn't come to him.

"Anya?"

"Yes?"

"Something on your mind, you seem lost." He thought she would just shrug him off but she didn't.

She looked up at him, "Actually yes. I have been meaning to tell you something for a couple of days now."

Kyle started feeling guilty again, had he really been unapproachable for a week? What was going on with him, she was his best friend and he was hardly there for her anymore.

"I'm sorry, Anya. I know I haven't been there for you lately. But please tell me now. What's going on?"

"No, it's not that. I just didn't know how to."

"You know, you can tell me anything."

"I know."

She took a deep breath, all she had to do was get it out, then see how the pieces fell in place, "So, you know Alex, right? Great guy, amazing friend,"

"Yes Anya, I know Alex."

"Well, and you know me, right? Your neighbor, your best friend,"

"Anya, just tell me already!"

"Yes," She looked at him, "Don't get mad at me, please. We just couldn't tell you until we were sure."

"What?"

"I'm dating Alex. He's dating me—"

Kyle didn't say anything. Anya was getting anxious now so she continued rambling, "Well, we are dating each other. Yes, that how it works, I guess. I mean this entire thing is so weird, how do you tell people this?"

She was getting worried now, Kyle hadn't said a word. He was clenching his fist so hard; it had gone white. Anya almost reached out to his hand but Kyle flinched away. He remembered what he had done yesterday all too well. So, he forced himself to look at her, and when he saw that face, he couldn't. He stepped back, he wanted to run, and everything in his body was fighting against him, he didn't understand what he was feeling but it was the same thing as the day before.

"Kyle? Are you okay? Please say something."

"I'm fine. Listen I have to go."

Kyle turned in the direction, just to see the boys from his Math class were outside, waiting for him. That's when he lost it, he almost pounced at them, "What's your problem? Can't you mind your own business?"

Kyle was really loud. Anya looked back at the scene, to see Kyle standing in front of that group. She already hated them; they were the typical, high-school brats. She was about to move in front of Kyle, only to see that one of them had backed him up against a wall. He was holding Kyle by his throat, but it wasn't a position of offense. It was almost as if he was holding Kyle back from himself. Before she had the chance to do anything, they dragged him to the door beside; it turned out to be the locker room. Anya stood helplessly outside.

They locked the door shut and pushed Kyle inside. Kyle looked at them with blind rage. He didn't even know why he felt anger this intense. It couldn't be because of Anya, that was a happy thing; then why didn't he say anything to her.

"What do you want from me?" Kyle shouted at them, there were four of them and only one of him but he wasn't scared. He felt powerful, like he could take them on. Again, he was astonished at himself, usually, he was the one pulling Alex back from entering such situations, but now, he didn't know what had gotten into him. He wanted to fight them and it was almost as if he wanted to hurt them.

A tall boy with brown hair was walking towards Kyle, but he couldn't really see him, all he saw was someone getting in his way; and unlike with Anya, he wasn't going to hold back. He raised his arm to punch him but the other guy was two steps ahead of Kyle. He caught his arm, mid-air and pushed him down. Kyle got back up but this time, aimed at his legs; he had seen enough action movies to know how a fight went but once again, he was stopped. Somewhere along the way, he realized that he wasn't getting attacked, all they were doing was stopping him; but he didn't care. This felt good, letting go of control was giving him more and more power. But after a few more failed punches, one of the boys standing behind called out, "Let him go, let's see the best he has got."

The boy in front of him smiled and let go of his collar and as soon as Kyle was free, he took the opportunity and landed a punch in his stomach. The other guy didn't even flinch, he just stood there, waiting; letting a child have his fun before reining him in. Kyle hated the look these boys were giving him as if he wasn't even worthy of hitting back. This infuriated him even further, to a point where he stopped thinking about moves but let himself be guided by pure instinct. And this time his punch landed right in the eye; the boy fell down to his knees, "That's enough now. Stand down, everyone." A thick voice called from behind. His voice was commanding enough so the other three stepped back.

By this time Kyle was exhausted too but he wouldn't give up. He managed to gather up his remaining strength and stood upright. He wanted to show that he wasn't weak.

"Have you had enough, Kyle? Or do you want to keep going?"

Kyle gave them a smile, the smile of a manic; his teeth were all b****y and his entire body had begun to hurt but he didn't feel tired, "Oh, I can keep going."

And that was it, the boy raised his arm, landed two sharp fists in his stomach when his knees buckled and Kyle fell to the floor.

When Kyle came back to his senses, he realized what he had been doing. He slumped down to the floor and looked up at them. He could make out their faces now. The commanding voice belonged to a boy named Derek. He was saying something to him, he looked up, Derek looked at Kyle with pity and authority at the same time, "Kyle, stand up."

He offered his hand to Kyle and he took it, "You have no idea what is happening to you, do you?"

"No."

"Then listen to me, Kyle. We are here to help you."

"Help me? You have a funny of showing it." Kyle looked at them incredulously.

"Yes."

"I don't know if you have forgotten, but you do know that you were punching me two seconds ago, right?"

"I was stopping you."

"From doing what?"

"Hurting yourself. Hurting her." He motioned towards the door, towards Anya.

Kyle's voice sounded desperate and helpless, "What is happening to me?"

"Your father hasn't told you?" This wasn't Derek, another boy, Liam probably. "Oh boy, this just keeps getting better and better.

"Shut up, Liam." So, it was Liam.

"Kyle, look in the mirror."

Kyle walked forward and looked in the mirror, he removed his jacket and saw that both his arms had veins running black all the way to his vertebral column now. And his eyes, oh god, his eyes, they burned red. He was terrified to look at himself, he looked like a monster. An avenging angel cast straight out of the doors of hell.

"You are one of us, Kyle."

"You are an Imperial."