Not All Heroes Are Guiltless

Chapter 59

Chapter 59

Aela’s POV

Nights are nearly unbearable. Sleep almost unattainable without waiting for my body to collapse. I’ve started pushing myself further than I ever had. Surprisingly, working with my hands or knowing what I am doing is helping others create another kind of restful and healing. I must not need as much sleep now. Another question for my mate is if I ever see him again. He never slept either and always seemed to keep himself busy. A part of me feels like it's unnatural not to sleep. The other part really wants to ask my mate some questions.

I would only get a few minutes of sleep when we were pushing the Hou Ndours, so I guess I never noticed it. But the quiet nights make me miss my mate even more. I wish there was a way to send a message or something to tell him I missed him. I thought maybe a connection with the cloak, but I’m not even close to being experienced enchanter to mess with his charms. But I shouldn’t be selfish with my time. The people of Redland still need me.

Two fishing boats seem to be good for now to add more essential nutrients to the men in the capital. I think two more should be sufficient to get the men able to build more muscle to help with the more taxing construction work needed to prepare for the season thunderstorms.

I knew keeping my eyes and ears out for wild livestock animals was bound to happen. The outskirts of the capital originally had many small farms along its border. Farms are just big enough to feed their family and have the ability to sell their wares in the capital. The wreckage from the giants was widespread, so even the livestock could have escaped and been living on their own for this entire time. Hou Ndour diet was mostly fish, so they never cared to hunt or raise their own meat.

I know what I am doing is beneficial, and the only task draining me is using elements to sharpen the axe and saw needed to cut and trim the logs. I’d rather not fight over the small furnace the Hou Ndour kept for repairing their equipment near the dock. The solitude of working by myself is comforting.

It’s after dusk when I hear the two sets of boots walking along the beach my way. One I could easily tell was Tyler. The annoying brat that I used to watch pull l pranks on the guards during social events. I have to hand it to him. He has shown growth. The second set is moving more sluggishly and almost haphazardly. I begin to wonder if he’s brought me someone who might need to be healed. He will be disappointed. I have no idea how to heal anyone other than myself.

Soon, they are close enough, I can hear their voices. Ethan, he’s not injured he’s burned out and exhausted. I feel my emotions fire up because I’m angry he’s worked himself to the bone, or he’s got himself worried because it's been a while since we’ve seen or talked to each other. Then, I realized he probably just recognized my absence, and I’m even more furious than before. I know he defended me, but he has been so wrapped up in the charms of the leaders who have forsaken everyone for themselves.

He doesn’t need my anger, though. I meditate on calmer things and know my expression will be cold and uncaring. I get back to sanding down the most current plank because I will still finish the next ship promptly.

“Good evening, mistress. I brought you a friend. Do I get a reward?” Tyler says, walking into my work zone.

I keep my focus on my work and speak slowly, “I’m not your mistress, brat. If you are here to only annoy me, then you can leave.”

Tyler pulls his hands to his heart, “Oh, mistress. You do love me then? Marry me?”

I growl lowly without turning away. Tyler laughs and turns and walks away. Ethan stands, and his breath is heavy. I ignore him and continue my work. He can stand there for as long as he wants, but I can’t help but be disappointed in him.

“Uhm. Silence, can I-“ He stutters.

“No.” I make sure my pronunciation is sharp, and I want him to know he’s not welcomed here. I want nothing to do with the people he is working with for the capital. They aren’t any better than the Hou Ndours.

“Silence, don’t be mad at me. I wish I could make people believe you aren’t a walking disaster. There is only so much I can defend you on, and the fact you aren’t collared has always been an issue. Everyone is scared because no one is strong enough to fight against you. I’ve been trying to convince the other leaders that you are better as a friend and a foe. If we keep pushing you away and you leave, then we have no one to unite under.” Ethan starts his speech in a normal talking voice, and before he ends, he’s yelling.

I stop working on my plank and give him the best terrifying stare I can. He shudders and steps back. “I warned you, did I not? I told you that I couldn’t be the one to lead the army because it would be easier for me to be betrayed. I was willing to leave you then, but you practically begged me to stay. I knew you would have to make deals with greedy jerks to be able to accomplish anything, but they are not the people they were protecting and fighting with. You are so intent on making them happy that the morale of your personal men and the people you saved has no integrity in you or the other leaders.”

Ethan’s mouth drops, and he closes it with a chomp. He has no response for me, so I go back to my work. I can almost hear his brain churning. I’m able to finish sanding my current plank, and I lift it to get my next one. I have it settled on my makeshift table when Ethan finally breaks his dried lips with his tongue. I anticipate being angry about his response. “What shield do you have over the capital right now?”

“The same simple shield I’ve always had around our camps. A trespass alarm. I know who and what goes in and out of the area. If you are asking for the shield that my aunt created, I am far from being able to accomplish anything that complex at her caliber. A simple intruder ward means no one is hindered walking in or out of it, and I can track anyone questionable. When we were in camp, I did often set up a smokescreen before it, which would scare off the faint-of-heart.” I return to my work and let Ethan continue to mull over his conversations.

“You are so beautifully breathtaking.” Ethan says lustfully. I stopped what I was doing because I wasn’t expecting that response. I have tried my hardest not to lead him on. “I’m sorry. I know you have a mate, and I’m not him. But seeing you doing any task that you wouldn’t expect a noble, much less a female, to attempt, let alone complete, is astounding. You glow so miraculously gorgeous when you sweat.” Ethan mumbles to himself and then pulls his hair out.

He continues, “You chose me, not because I was a good fighter or that my band had accomplished a few tasks. You chose me because you saw something in me, didn’t you? You had to, or you never would have separated from Delmar. Because of you, I am the person everyone comes to and has to make these decisions on negotiations, and you would always express your ideas and concerns, but I wasn’t open for you after the battle. I spent more time defending you, and you’re the reason we weren’t all slaughtered by that monster: a bear shifter with owl feathers. I was wrong. I shouldn’t have been trying to defend you verbally. I should have given you a chance to prove you are the princess whether you are collared or not. You protect us whether we can trust you or not.”

I keep on working without responding to him because I’m still angry about him. “Princess AmAela, please don’t be the silent benefactor anymore. Come back to the command center with me I know how to command a battalion, but I don’t know the first steps to even build a city and you are obviously more conversant in what the people need.”

After a grand pause, I bring my head up so we can see each other face-to-face, “The other leaders won’t accept me having any leadership role.”

“They are lecherous bastards, screw them. If they want anything to do with Redland, they will know they need to work with you specifically. Means they need to keep their opinions and concerns to themselves until it affects the lives of their people.” Ethan says sincerely and more serious than I’ve ever seen him before. “You were the one that built the fishing ships? Are you making another?”

“Yes, with the amount of people we have, four fishing boats should be able to get enough to feed everyone enough protein on a daily basis. Within the next week, you should be able to get the men who are clearing the debris to instead build with the items around. Getting a large center with solid rock walls to avoid the storms is imperative. Most of the wood in the debris isn’t able to be used, but we might still be able to find some scrap to use for support.” I say and then stop because I can’t expect him to do anything.

“You organize the rebuilding, and I will follow your commands. If you have that shield up, then would we need guards at all?” Ethan says hopefully.

“Yes. But you can have them close to me, and I can send them out to investigate, and that would keep me more focused on my task at hand.” I say, crossing my arms.

“Perfect!” Ethan says with a large clap and smile.

“You should just get some sleep here since no one will disturb you. I should have this next ship finished by morning. You can help me bring it in, and then we can go train because I know you’ve been slacking.” I laugh to myself. Ethan nods his head and finds a place next to some moss to sleep.